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[imperium3]

Never mix bows and crossbows in a squad. I did just that to make use of the artifact bow one of my dwarves made, and now all my marksdwarves are armed with arrows and the bowdwarf has bolts...

[Flying Dice]

Embarked on a major river, everything is going fine. The first wave of immigrants shows up on the other side of the river. Fine, I think, I'll build a bridge for them. This follows:

Dice: "Okay beardy, build that bridge!"
Urist McCowardMason: "Agh! A capybara!"
Urist McCowardMason Cancels Construct Building: Interrupted by Capybara! x1000
Urist McImmigrant Cancels Sleep: Interrupted by Capybara! x1000

The worst part? There are about a dozen of the little bastards just sitting on the riverbed right below my aborted bridge. Time to dig a tunnel below the river before the immigrants die of dehydration or carp, I guess.

EDIT: Literally, to the second, the moment my tunnel was completed, they all left the map. That's it, I'm damming the river and setting up a permanent extermination squad.

[Shootandrun]

I just upgraded to the new version (I was from 3.18). Because I thinked there would no really good metals, I have a region without flux nor magma.

I just dug out a 50x50 space. There is ONLY magnetite in here. Seriously. No kidding.

[Urist Imiknorris]

You have magma.

[Grax]

Or not.

[Eoganachta]

My lonely soapmaker, Eshtan Zanegshalig, died while hunting the dreaded Capybara. She shot the thing full of bolts before the beast closed, and she then leaped out of the way and right into the crater of an open volcano to escape.
I looked at her description and she 'was' extremely clumsy and has good creativity. Both played a role in her demise.

[darthbob88]

Due to many many "encrust with gems" orders and a lack of object control, I now have a wooden crutch worth 7900 dwarfbucks and pimped out with more bling than a rap convention. Meh, at least it'll sell well.

I also have run into, let us say, complications with pots and prepared food. Long story short, I have upwards of 5000 prepared meals in one pot. It is the single most valuable thing in my fortress as a result. The only problem is that I can no longer make most of my trade in dwarven syrup/cheese/whip wine/quarry bush roasts, and must deal in crafts instead. Lamentations and woe, I do not believe I can stand this state of affairs.[/sarcasm]

[Jeoshua]

Selling food is undwarvenly anyways.

Take what you can, give nuthin back.

[Musashi]

When the first part of the magma pump stack was powered but didn't actually pump any magma, I was concerned. I checked the lowermost pump.
I had somehow built each pump the wrong way.
*FACEPALM* Do I still deserve to play with magma with such a bout of stupidity?

[darthbob88]

Selling food is undwarvenly anyways.

Take what you can, give nuthin back.

Well, yes, but I have 5000 food and 80 dwarves. I could easily shut off trade with the outside world, living on nothing but what I have, and still have food for years yet. My fortresses are always self-sufficient and can generally make everything except certain metals, leathers, and fabrics, which I must import, and food is an extremely mass/cost-efficient trade good, especially because I have lots of it.

[TolyK]

Selling food is undwarvenly anyways.

Take what you can, give nuthin back.

Well, yes, but I have 5000 food and 80 dwarves. I could easily shut off trade with the outside world, living on nothing but what I have, and still have food for years yet. My fortresses are always self-sufficient and can generally make everything except certain metals, leathers, and fabrics, which I must import, and food is an extremely mass/cost-efficient trade good, especially because I have lots of it.

Just keep it. You will need it when your dwarves start partying 

[Naryar]

My armorer just had a fey mood and went legendary.

Then gets out for some reason, and gets killed by a goblin ambush that was going quite well, cause my woodworker tends to take itself for a hero, attack 10 goblins at once and win. Because I forgot to assign dwarves to burrows.

I let out a powerful growl of frustration, then quit.

[Orkel]

When I unleashed a barrage of adamantine bolts upon siegers only to find out they bounce off clothing thanks being so ridiculously light.

[Flying Dice]

Sending out my elite axedwarf squad to clear out the monthly infestations of badgermen, only to have them decide that rather than attack, they should scatter their armor and weapons all over the landscape.

[MythagoWoods]

Sending out my elite axedwarf squad to clear out the monthly infestations of badgermen, only to have them decide that rather than attack, they should scatter their armor and weapons all over the landscape.

So... they smothered the badgermen to death by sheer dwarfiness rather then rely on silly things like "Armor" and "Weapons"?

Also I have my Nuclear Wardog lever there for a reason.  To occupy the sieges when they decide to bumrush my main entrance.  I lost several good, see utterly useless, dwarves in the recent siege thanks to you refusing to do your one and only job Mr. Lever Puller.  I hope you're happy.