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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2213414 times)

FritzPL

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4005 on: March 09, 2011, 10:31:36 am »

My Engraver dodging from Crundle into wall.

She gently exploded after taking all power of impact on every single part of her body.

Serrational

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4006 on: March 09, 2011, 11:19:27 am »

....Might there have been a drop BETWEEN THE WALL AND THE DWARF? Hm?

On the facepalm side though, my "Let's build a noble-disposer over the waterfall. Ah, let's test it. Oh dear Armok, get the kids off of the *splat*!" Tantrum spiral wasn't too intelligent either...
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I figured the guy was a goner too when a noseless bat from hell flew right over the fortifications and attacked.

Cotes

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4007 on: March 09, 2011, 02:20:15 pm »

....Might there have been a drop BETWEEN THE WALL AND THE DWARF? Hm?

On the facepalm side though, my "Let's build a noble-disposer over the waterfall. Ah, let's test it. Oh dear Armok, get the kids off of the *splat*!" Tantrum spiral wasn't too intelligent either...
I swear those little bastards can sense impending doom an have an instinct to run right at it.

Then again, my fortress seems to worship the god of suicide.
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Well if you remove the [MULTIPLE_LITTER_RARE] tag from dwarves I think they have like 2-4 children each time they give birth. And if you get enough mothers up on the pillars you can probably get a good waterfall going.
Ashes are technically fire-safe.

TolyK

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4008 on: March 09, 2011, 02:55:12 pm »

Try giving your captain of the guard a training weapon.

Thanks for the advice. There were a whole bunch of guys with disorderly conduct charges, and the new captain decided they should take their beating before he swapt his bronze axe for the wooden one.

They're all dead now.
i like to keep captains in limbo when that happens - assign one and lock him in his room for a bit (don't forget about him!) while the usual trades weapons. then assign back and free old one.

now: try savescuming?

I don't savescum. Especially when whatever went wrong is funny.
neither do i. unless of course my brother comes on and wrecks the shit out of my fort >:(
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Ibid Straydrink

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4009 on: March 09, 2011, 03:42:08 pm »

My Engraver dodging from Crundle into wall.

She gently exploded after taking all power of impact on every single part of her body.

This is probably the greatest thing I have ever heard of happening in this game.
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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4010 on: March 09, 2011, 04:39:02 pm »

You can make a wood furnace out of ice! But if its inside, it'll melt, because its too warm.  ???
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Excedion

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4011 on: March 09, 2011, 04:45:22 pm »

If you caught it, what will you do with it?

Going to build a labyrinth in the bottom of my fort to dump annoying migrants. using a system of flood gates and levers hopefully i can keep him in. If goblins appear then ill use them but i have yet to see any goblins or humans on this map
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Musashi

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4012 on: March 09, 2011, 05:41:21 pm »

My Engraver dodging from Crundle into wall.

She gently exploded after taking all power of impact on every single part of her body.
I ROFL'd.
For real.
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Flying Dice

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4013 on: March 09, 2011, 08:41:50 pm »

I recently found out that the upright cotton candy stick hidden in certain maps shows up on the screen for linking upright spears to levers...

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Genoraven

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4014 on: March 09, 2011, 11:00:09 pm »

I recently found out that the upright cotton candy stick hidden in certain maps shows up on the screen for linking upright spears to levers...
Stop that. No more clown references.
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twwolfe

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4015 on: March 10, 2011, 12:58:26 am »

I recently found out that the upright cotton candy stick hidden in certain maps shows up on the screen for linking upright spears to levers...
Stop that. No more clown references.

Bit late for that, old chap. clownite has entered the DF lexicon, and it has stuck
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antymattar

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4016 on: March 10, 2011, 05:25:31 am »

Phoenixuk, it is stories like yours that make me think that Dwarf Fortress is actually triple-distilled cruelty absorbed transdermally through our fingertips whenever we play. It simultaneously inspires and terrifies me. I feel very sorry for any goblinoid alien race that attempts to attack Earth, knowing that there may be DF players in strategic positions worldwide.
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« Last Edit: March 10, 2011, 05:28:15 am by antymattar »
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Haspen

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4017 on: March 10, 2011, 05:30:32 am »

Phoenixuk, it is stories like yours that make me think that Dwarf Fortress is actually triple-distilled cruelty absorbed transdermally through our fingertips whenever we play. It simultaneously inspires and terrifies me. I feel very sorry for any goblinoid alien race that attempts to attack Earth, knowing that there may be DF players in strategic positions worldwide.
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Erase date and link code from quote, saves around 50 letters.
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Cotes

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4018 on: March 10, 2011, 07:14:10 am »

Marksdwarves. These goddamn assholes. They have exactly two modes:
A) "My quiver is empty, guess I'll just fuck around the front lines for a week anyway"
B) "Hmm, a crucial high priority military operation and my post is twenty yards away. Oh whoops, I'm missing like two bolts, better go back to the armory, it's only a mile walk"
-->
"Ahaha, whoops. I took only one arrow, I was missing two! Good thing I only walked half way to my post!"

Point A just killed nearly half my archers. I had neatly positioned them at the end of a hallway after an FB with poisonous vapors had camped behind a door on the other side of it. You know, so that they could fire a volley of death before it got close. Instead the morons had no ammunition (which I have in the hundreds, none assigned to hunters or other squads) and ran right at it. Guess how that worked out?
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Well if you remove the [MULTIPLE_LITTER_RARE] tag from dwarves I think they have like 2-4 children each time they give birth. And if you get enough mothers up on the pillars you can probably get a good waterfall going.
Ashes are technically fire-safe.

Valguris

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4019 on: March 10, 2011, 10:50:07 am »

Marksdwarves. These goddamn assholes. They have exactly two modes:
A) "My quiver is empty, guess I'll just fuck around the front lines for a week anyway"
B) "Hmm, a crucial high priority military operation and my post is twenty yards away. Oh whoops, I'm missing like two bolts, better go back to the armory, it's only a mile walk"
-->
"Ahaha, whoops. I took only one arrow, I was missing two! Good thing I only walked half way to my post!"

Point A just killed nearly half my archers. I had neatly positioned them at the end of a hallway after an FB with poisonous vapors had camped behind a door on the other side of it. You know, so that they could fire a volley of death before it got close. Instead the morons had no ammunition (which I have in the hundreds, none assigned to hunters or other squads) and ran right at it. Guess how that worked out?

How many bolts have you assigned to that squad? Once i caught myself, that I left my squad of 10 marksdwarves with only 100 bolts assigned total (relic from times I had 1 marksdwarf). So some had ~20 bolts, and others ~1 bolt and were rushing to fight in melee.
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