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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2213248 times)

Scaraban

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3945 on: March 02, 2011, 09:41:09 pm »

You can use obsidian for your tree farms :P

Can you? Like, obsidian you created 100Z levels up? I want trees in my sky fortress, but I didn't know I was allowed to have them!

I have a new megaproject idea now.  :D

The Abbey of Diamonds has started construction on a Great Wonder:  The Hanging Gardens!
only trees though
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Lamphare

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3946 on: March 02, 2011, 09:46:23 pm »

You can use obsidian for your tree farms :P

Can you? Like, obsidian you created 100Z levels up? I want trees in my sky fortress, but I didn't know I was allowed to have them!

I have a new megaproject idea now.  :D

The Abbey of Diamonds has started construction on a Great Wonder:  The Hanging Gardens!
only trees though
The Hanging Dendrological Garden!
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mszegedy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3947 on: March 02, 2011, 10:23:08 pm »

My dwarves just locked themselves out of their fortress to which the only entrance is a bridge.

How much delay is there between pulling a lever and having the desired effect, again?
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Flaede

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3948 on: March 02, 2011, 11:14:13 pm »

My dwarves just locked themselves out of their fortress to which the only entrance is a bridge.

How much delay is there between pulling a lever and having the desired effect, again?

Depends on the item connected. Bridges are 100 or 101 ticks depending on order of construction.
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Toady typically doesn't do things by half measures.  As evidenced by turning "make hauling work better" into "implement mine carts with physics".
There are many issues with this statement.
[/quote]

SgtNimrod

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3949 on: March 02, 2011, 11:40:45 pm »

This is my recent facepalm moment; actually, a couple of them in quick succession. I'm new to the game, so I have a lot of them.

I embarked on an area that turned out to have very little metal, but I really wanted to play with either magma or smithing so I dug a single mineshaft straight down. Needless to say, I hit a cavern level. I didn't want to deal with any terrible beasties, so I instructed my little dorfies to build a wall around the breach so I could come deal with it later. Well, the moron dorf who built this wall built it with himself locked outside, and he was quickly becoming dehydrated. I didn't want to lose one of my original seven so early, so I had him deconstruct the wall, come inside, and then rebuild the wall again. Unfortunately, he was so thirsty he immediately booked it upstairs for some booze, and I watched helplessly as a Giant Olm waltzed leisurely into the single hole in the wall. It was a sign of things to come. Face - 0 Palm - 1

I managed to pull everyone into a group of wrestlers and kill the olm without injury. However, a giant D creature marched in and brutally slaughtered another dwarf when I wasn't looking, and suffocated a second. Face - 0 Palm - 3

After they'd lost two of their friends, the dwarfs realized I was looking out for their interest and built the stupid wall. Later on, with two more accidental cavern breached and a large wave of summer migeants I also ended up with two dwarves dying of thirst down the mineshaft despite not knowing why they were down there in the first place. One was a farmer who was apparently a little sad that I wasn't doing any farming. I'm up to 5 facepalms in this fort, and my mausoleum (I constructed a mausoleum in anticipation of more stupid tragedy) is already quite large for it only being winter of the first year.

/end long story  :)
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Urist McBusDriver

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3950 on: March 03, 2011, 06:57:46 am »

My dwarves just locked themselves out of their fortress to which the only entrance is a bridge.

How much delay is there between pulling a lever and having the desired effect, again?

If you have materials on the outside of your fort, could you just build another lever and link it to the entrance bridge and use it to lower it?
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Of course, since he doesn't actually walk around counting things, we can only assume that bookkeeping time is spent in deep meditation, psychically sensing exactly how many piles of orthoclase there are. It takes a while to hone a skill like that.

xtank5

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3951 on: March 03, 2011, 09:04:22 am »

Bridges need to be down in order to be linked.
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Magentawolf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3952 on: March 03, 2011, 03:57:41 pm »

My dwarves just locked themselves out of their fortress to which the only entrance is a bridge.

How much delay is there between pulling a lever and having the desired effect, again?

If you have materials on the outside of your fort, could you just build another lever and link it to the entrance bridge and use it to lower it?

Well, hopefully one of those dwarves stuck outside is a miner. Mine your way back in, then wall it up! ;)
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Urist McBusDriver

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3953 on: March 03, 2011, 07:05:23 pm »

Fortress is humming along nicely. 125 dwarfs, a military consisting of three leather-clad marksdwarfs equipped with a lot of *goblin bone bolt*, and just completed the new dining hall and expanded bedroom area when the dwarf caravan appears. We trade, negotiate, I carry on working on the new residential areas, when I realise the caravan's escorts and yaks are wandering all over the fort. Unusual. I carry on, then a few in-game months later "Yak bull has gone insane!" - and so did a few of the merchants. I activate the military and move them to the main stairway, but no-one's attacking my dwarfs. Half the merchants and their yaks went mad, and were killed by the other half.

At the same time, a minotaur showed up, and walked straight into the first cage trap in the entrance corridor. Which no-one brought inside. I was very confused.

Then I realised, the foot-bath in the entrance hallway, between the cage traps and the trade depot, I had set as a pond to top it up. It was 2/7 and 3/7 depth, and I wanted 3/7 all over. But I'd forgotten to deactivate the zone, and it was now 6/7 all over. D'oh!

Put a floor over the bath and everything became fine; the remaining merchants left. Managed to drain the water using buckets but nearly flooded the deep garbage pit in the process, where there's a lot of valuable exploded goblin limbs that will hopefully become craftable bone soon. Realised the danger when it was 3/7 - just in time!

The minotaur is now sitting in the barracks while I wonder if he should be in a zoo, or pitted, or used to train my axedwarfs when I start training some.

Moral of the story: don't leave the bath running!
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Of course, since he doesn't actually walk around counting things, we can only assume that bookkeeping time is spent in deep meditation, psychically sensing exactly how many piles of orthoclase there are. It takes a while to hone a skill like that.

Lamphare

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3954 on: March 03, 2011, 07:11:48 pm »

Fortress is humming along nicely. 125 dwarfs, a military consisting of three leather-clad marksdwarfs equipped with a lot of *goblin bone bolt*, and just completed the new dining hall and expanded bedroom area when the dwarf caravan appears. We trade, negotiate, I carry on working on the new residential areas, when I realise the caravan's escorts and yaks are wandering all over the fort. Unusual. I carry on, then a few in-game months later "Yak bull has gone insane!" - and so did a few of the merchants. I activate the military and move them to the main stairway, but no-one's attacking my dwarfs. Half the merchants and their yaks went mad, and were killed by the other half.

At the same time, a minotaur showed up, and walked straight into the first cage trap in the entrance corridor. Which no-one brought inside. I was very confused.

Then I realised, the foot-bath in the entrance hallway, between the cage traps and the trade depot, I had set as a pond to top it up. It was 2/7 and 3/7 depth, and I wanted 3/7 all over. But I'd forgotten to deactivate the zone, and it was now 6/7 all over. D'oh!

Put a floor over the bath and everything became fine; the remaining merchants left. Managed to drain the water using buckets but nearly flooded the deep garbage pit in the process, where there's a lot of valuable exploded goblin limbs that will hopefully become craftable bone soon. Realised the danger when it was 3/7 - just in time!

The minotaur is now sitting in the barracks while I wonder if he should be in a zoo, or pitted, or used to train my axedwarfs when I start training some.

Moral of the story: don't leave the bath running!
6/7 is fine.
actually it's what i have for my meeting hall. so everyone gets trained for swimming without drown.
the only downside is that they move slowly if they are swimming.
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Scaraban

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3955 on: March 03, 2011, 07:22:16 pm »

any level fine for swimmers
3/7 for pathing even if swimmer though
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ExdeathV

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3956 on: March 04, 2011, 12:23:12 am »

Alright so I decide to embark in a sinister jungle without an aquifer thank damn you Armok! Since I'm still a beginner I decide to edit the embark points. So after I'm done, I start out with 250 mica and 250 wood in total with steel weapons and a silver warhammer. From the start, I enable carpentry for every dwarf and start creating a wooden fort around my wagon with some space to allow my dwarves to walk around. Right now, I'm surrounded by zombie and skeleton animals that can be taken care of easily and 100 wood is used to build this wall. As they draw near and my fort is about to be finished, Urist McDumbassWoodworker walls himself out. I decide to make him fight the animals just to see if he'll survive. And so far, he did without any real damage and he became a good axedwarf from it. Now we tear down 2 of the bottom walls and build a bridge that walls off the entrance. So right now I'm digging down and making a few workshops and housing/dining rooms. Since I decided to make my fort population only 50, I make 50 rooms, beds, tables, etc in preparation while my miners start digging down so I can find the
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
. Anyway, everything is sunshine and puppies, or actually darkness, decay, and skeletal elephants for my dwarves for now. Some migrants come once the coast is clear, and we let the bridge down. Right now my miners are drawing near my destination while building some screwpumps for the magma. Now here's where the facepalming yet awesome moment (for me) begins, in my head and heart, I want to actually go fight enjoy the monsters clowns instead of dieing from the usual animal. Right now, I have mark dwarves on top of my walls and protected by fortifications. As I let down the bridge for my last migrants, out of nowhere, I see them rushing in, I look near them and see a freaking group of zombie elephants and lions chasing them. Before I can do anything, almost all my dwarves are dead except for my miners. When they return for food and water, I order one of them to pull the lever to bring up the bridge, but instead they sat around eating. Did I mention that I embarked on a cave that housed one of my creations, a giant talking tortoise that can make you explode just by ramming you into a wall? So now I see my creation announcing its arrival, and makes its way to my fort while my dwarfs are too busy being Urist McDumbasses for not pulling the lever. So now I'm watching what my creation does best, making things explode by ramming them into a wall. Man, I never facepalmed this hard before.

Moral of this story:Go embark in a sinster area without an aquifer and housing a giant tortoise while trying to reach the circus. Go see how long you can last.
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MarcAFK

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3957 on: March 04, 2011, 01:58:48 am »

You can use obsidian for your tree farms :P

Can you? Like, obsidian you created 100Z levels up? I want trees in my sky fortress, but I didn't know I was allowed to have them!

I have a new megaproject idea now.  :D

The Abbey of Diamonds has started construction on a Great Wonder:  The Hanging Gardens!
only trees though
The Hanging Dendrological Garden!
i'm pretty sure that if you have some of your obsidian exposed to sunlight you'll get outdoor plants and trees growing on it, you can then roof over it and it'll still be marked as outside and so will still grow..
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They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

Scaraban

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3958 on: March 04, 2011, 02:06:58 pm »

outdoor plants need soil
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TolyK

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3959 on: March 04, 2011, 02:14:50 pm »

outdoor plants need soil
that's a problem.
*facepalm*
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