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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2209417 times)

Eradacater

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3915 on: February 25, 2011, 02:48:59 pm »

Tried to make an obsidian farm. Forgot that marble wasn't magma-proof. I now have a magma pool with a leak. *facepalm* indeed.
the floodgates or what because constructions are invulnerable

I used doors. I've been playing since 40d. I know this stuff. I just had a brain fart. I blame the head injuiry I suffered recently.

You got to watch those cave ins man
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Lava trap = Fun
Drowning trap = fun
Fight pit = fun
Orbital magma cannon = more fun than most can handle

Pojodan

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3916 on: February 25, 2011, 04:49:46 pm »

Had one dwarf be the recipient of 3 face-palms over the course of a couple years.

1st facepalm:  Started my fort without any gem cutting/setting skills in my initial 7, hoping to luck out with immigrants.  By the time I was up to 35 dwarves I'd not gotten one, but I did have a rapidly growing stockpile of rough gems and a growing need for trade money.  So, after getting 6 more fisherman/mechanics/utterly-utterly-useless dwarves, I decided I'd just grow a Jeweler from scratch.  I found a dwarf that had absolutely no skill, but liked a couple different kinds of gems, and set him cutting.   Fast forward a few seasons, and guess what I get in an immigrant wave?  That's right, a High Master Gem Cutter!  *facepalm*

2nd facepalm:  Okay, so I have a good cutter, but no setter.  Still not a single point of experience in any of my other dwarves, so I took Urist McGemForBrains and set him sorting through the heaps of crappy cut, low value gems to start poorly setting them into the even crappier stone crafts my 3 Legendary Stonecrafters had been spitting out before fey moods had boosted their skills (grumble grumble artifact stone trumpet.. grumble grumble artifact stone earring.. grumble grumble).   3 seasons later, Urist McMasterGemSetter shows up.  *facepalm*

3rd facepalm:  So, since Urist McGemForBrains had run out his usefulness after wasting the majority of my fortress' gem stock on practise, I punished him by setting him to haul gems by activating Item Hauling and nothing else.  I'm cruel, yes, but at least my good Jewelers would never need to leave their post till my fortress was crusted in glittering gemstones.  That is till I spotted some gems sticking out of a mountain wall, send my miner up to carve them out, and Urist McGemForBrains becomes Urst McAdvancedWarning by discovering a goblin ambush by way of accidentally getting a goblin sword to the back of his neck.  *facepalm*

His Masterwork Marble Coffin was encrusted with Emerald.
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TolyK

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3917 on: February 26, 2011, 08:18:47 am »

Aquifers don't endlessly drain magma.
*computerface*
*facecomputer*
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My Mafia Stats
just do whatevery tolyK and blame it as a bastard mod
Shakerag: Who are you personally suspicious of?
At this point?  TolyK.

Knarfle

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3918 on: February 27, 2011, 01:11:46 am »

My miner was taking a nap in the barracks. All of a sudden, I get two announcments compressed into one.
THIEF! Protect the horde from the skulking filth.
Urist McLegendary Miner Has been struck down.

The kobold... slashed him in the head with a copper dagger... and TOOK IT'S FUCKING HEAD OFF.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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What do you get when a Rhesus monkey steps on a weapons trap loaded with maximum adamantine blades?

Rhesus Pieces!

Leonard DeVir

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3919 on: February 27, 2011, 02:05:25 pm »

Urist McWeird likes [...] and starved women for their macabre ways. WHAT!?
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FuzzyZergling

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3920 on: February 27, 2011, 03:13:22 pm »

Urist McWeird likes [...] and starved women for their macabre ways. WHAT!?
"Starved woman" is probably a type of night creature.
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GamerKnight

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3921 on: February 27, 2011, 04:55:13 pm »

One square of molten rock cannot support an entire fortress by itself.

facepalm
face computer
ballscomputer
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Love is just a chemical. We give it meaning by choice.

Dwarf Fortress : Crimes Against Nature, Man, God, Sanity and Simple Common Sense Simulator.

Dwarf Fortress: Turning men into monsters, and kittens into food since 2006.

Scaraban

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3922 on: February 27, 2011, 05:06:05 pm »

One square of molten rock cannot support an entire fortress by itself.

facepalm
face computer
ballscomputer
wait... wtf...
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GamerKnight

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3923 on: February 28, 2011, 12:26:12 am »

I made a tower out of my fortress. I channelled all around it down to the magma sea. I did not think. Do not judge me.
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Love is just a chemical. We give it meaning by choice.

Dwarf Fortress : Crimes Against Nature, Man, God, Sanity and Simple Common Sense Simulator.

Dwarf Fortress: Turning men into monsters, and kittens into food since 2006.

Scaraban

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3924 on: February 28, 2011, 12:31:56 am »

I'm more disturbed concerned that you took that to mean you should then rape your computer
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GamerKnight

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3925 on: February 28, 2011, 12:33:01 am »

No, I actually dropped my laptop onto my crotch afterwards. As I said, do not judge me, for I have suffered enough.
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Love is just a chemical. We give it meaning by choice.

Dwarf Fortress : Crimes Against Nature, Man, God, Sanity and Simple Common Sense Simulator.

Dwarf Fortress: Turning men into monsters, and kittens into food since 2006.

Scaraban

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3926 on: February 28, 2011, 12:37:30 am »

No, I actually dropped my laptop onto my crotch afterwards. As I said, do not judge me, for I have suffered enough.
LQTM
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It's a long way to the top if you want dank memes.

StreetPizza

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3927 on: February 28, 2011, 02:32:37 am »

I facepalm'd when I realized that "Urist McUrist complained about the draft lately" did not refer to wind blowing into the fortress and giving everyone dwarf-pneumonia.
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the soapmaker Urist McSudsy has come!  Beware his deadly cleansing action!

Beardless

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3928 on: February 28, 2011, 02:41:25 am »

One square of molten rock cannot support an entire fortress by itself.

facepalm
face computer
ballscomputer
wait... wtf...

You need to learn when not to ask. I'd been trying to learn that for years, but it wasn't until I joined the Bay12 forums that I realized that it was a survival skill.

I learned fast.
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So it turns out that dumping magma on skeletons is either a really bad idea or maybe like the best idea ever.

Talikmon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3929 on: February 28, 2011, 04:29:03 am »

Wanted to move a titan in his cage to a different room and instead let him out of the cage.  All hell did break loose. 

Seconding the d/b menu in first few games.  ENTER ENTER ENTER ENTER ENTER ENTER ENTER.

Oh yeah, my first game or two, not knowing about bins.  Stockpiles coming out of my ears.

Or my first encounter with carps.  Couldn't figure out why my dwarfs kept dying, turning all the offshoots of the river red.  Even worse, couldn't figure out why my lemming dwarfs kept pouring out to go to the same place, only to die as well. 

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