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[Ibid Straydrink]

Playing Dwarf Fortress as elves, and everything is going swell. We've got a nice hamlet started, churning out plenty of bonecrafts, with a aspiring ranger task force in-training, thanks to our guardian- a Master Bowman with golden stats, type A personality, and winning smile that could send the goblins running.

And speaking of goblins, there they are! I just happened to be checking the civ. screen out of curiosity and noticed it- they've arrive. Quickly, raise the bridge by the river! Our brave Guardian nimbly leapt down from the encampment walls and sprinted for the lever, pulling it swiftly. Strangely, however, the bridge did not raise. A warrior by trade, Lafy had no idea that the rickety old mechanisms of the bridge were turning slowly as he set upon it, preparing to hold the goblins on the other side if need be. Suddenly, the ground disappeared from beneath him, and a blue question mark flashed above his head. After pacing back and forth for a few seconds, he finally realized that he was, in fact, standing in midair, and fell screaming like a kitten 8 z levels down to his death in the canyon below.

As the village mourned Lafy's death, goblins appeared from the opposite direction and stormed into the hamlet, slaughtering everyone in seconds.

[Qinetix]

Got 15 females and 1 male in my fortress
*facepalm* I noticed this after a year

[FrisianDude]

Holy shit I accidentally beheaded a macedwarf of the caravan because he was caught beneath the kill order rectangle used against a Goblin ambush. My MCaptain made very short work of the poor fellow. 

Would the caravan forgive me for this?

[Bedlam]

Accidentally pump-drowned the pumper because I didnt notice a leak in the room.

[Stoup]

Having a squad of recruits try to wrestle a Draltha who'd climbed into the fort proper via a door down in the caverns a gremlin opened.

None lived, and one was blown apart.

But eventually one of my miners killed his shit!

[BackgroundGuy]

Holy shit I accidentally beheaded a macedwarf of the caravan because he was caught beneath the kill order rectangle used against a Goblin ambush. My MCaptain made very short work of the poor fellow. 

Would the caravan forgive me for this?

Your civilization won't act against you as a fortress, but you'd better isolate the killer and anyone else who attacked the macedwarf.  Those guys are now enemies of your civilization and will attack your civilians on sight.

[Horizon9]

Kobold filth decides to try and rob my fortress of our goods, so I send the military after it.
First dwarf to get there is my Skilled Axedwarf Kadol with his trusty copper battle axe.
I expected the Kobold to be dispatched quickly and painlessly.
And then suddenly Kadol Kolnazom, Swordsdwarf has been struck down.
He didn't even get one hit in when the kobold stabbed him in the head.

Kobolds will stab your face in. What was the dagger made of?

It was a large copper dagger.
Just one hit did him in.
And then suddenly Urist McBigDamnHero comes in and starts butchering the kobold with his pick.

[Horizon9]

Because someone has to take the fall, I figure it's up to me to make a complete fool out of myself.

So a few artifact furnitures were made in the fort, and the baron was already happy in his little hole that used to be a mayor's department(until the unfortunate accident related to destroying the throne he was sitting on and getting his head chopped off by the Captain), so I figured, hey, the guy should have some real noble rooms.

So off I went, designating four large rooms and had them mined out.

It only now dawned on me that unfortunate placing of the rooms(two side-by-side and the other two above the two) made it look like... well, it made the noble's room layout look like he was living in a penis.

Insert obvious "the guy was a dick" joke here.

So stay sharp kids, and always check that you are not designating risque fortress plans!

On one of my previous fortresses I mined out 7 rooms for the starting dwarves, a meeting area, a dining room, and a barracks.
Only after I had finished did I notice the entire floor was shaped like a cross.

[Alarion]

Getting a Forgotten Beast to arrive... made of snow. He took one step into the caverns, realised "oh shit, it's like 11,000 Urist in here" and promptly melted.

[FrisianDude]

Your civilization won't act against you as a fortress, but you'd better isolate the killer and anyone else who attacked the macedwarf.  Those guys are now enemies of your civilization and will attack your civilians on sight.

Hmm. I don't think so, luckily. I deactivated the order of the Militia captain's squad a bit later, after having driven away. finished the last goblins and he's simply being okay and a cheese maker again. Sparring with a fellow is what I last saw of him before I exited the game. Also could trade with the caravan, so maybe I was lucky.

[Alarion]

Also, a mason got stuck on top of the outer walls for several months before being noticed. Once that happened, due to an unfortunately timed save, he'd run down the stairs, throw himself at the nearest barrel of booze... and then immediately die of thirst while drinking from it.

Luckily, that's the only death in the fortress so far, meaning that it now only houses 36 Ecstatic dwarves and 3 Very Happy ones. Alas. At least he got a nice grave...

(and I learned to watch out for masons building walls on corners! damn save timing...)

[Urist McOverlord]

Accidentally pump-drowned the pumper because I didnt notice a leak in the room.

I did that once.

But with magma.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

To three different dwarves in the same fortress in the same spot.

[MaximumZero]

Got 15 females and 1 male in my fortress
*facepalm* I noticed this after a year

I don't see how that's a facepalm. I see that as the ultimate vacation.

[Sutremaine]

After allowing all my dwarves to spar their way up to elite status, I reenabled all their labours via DT. First time round I forgot to reenable the hauling labours, which made for a confusing time. Second time round, I realised I'd forgotten the recover / feed wounded orders as well. How did I discover this? By going off to write some mods, and coming back to a nice big 'Urist McUnfortunate has died of thirst' announcement on my screen. Looks like they came off badly against a skeagle and went to the hospital to rest up, and whoops, nobody came by with a bucket. All it was was some bruised muscle and torn fat in the head, by the look of the combat logs. How annoying.

[Starmantle]

Editing the raws a little to add a few extra animals to the domesticated folder - so they'd show up with immigrants and such.

After going through the long process of finding a great location and getting my caravan ready, I found that I had a party of 7 humans...

I have no idea how that one happened, but human fortress just isn't worth playing. 

*facepalm*