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[mrtspence]

Goddammit. Was digging out a reservoir behind my walls to feed my pressure washer (that will wash enemies down 60 z levels onto a steel spike--the water drains into my first cavern). Designated the entire job to be done at once. 3 miners have broken legs, and another has died (Neil Patrick Harris III). WHY WON'T THEY DIG OUT THE TOP LAYERS FIRST!!!!

[DuckThatQuacks]

It takes me a long time to scroll through lists -- the stocks list, the units list, etc. -- because my laptop doesn't have page up and page down keys. So I'm always hate having to scroll through the lists, because I can only use the arrow keys and it is soooo slow.

I've owned my laptop for over four years. Minutes ago, I noticed for the first time that the arrow keys say "page ^", "page v", "< home", and "end >". I can press fn + up/down to do page up or page down. It took me four years to notice this. Granted, I didn't have much need for page up or page down until I started playing Dwarf Fortress a few months ago, but still -- four years!

[JAFANZ]

It takes me a long time to scroll through lists -- the stocks list, the units list, etc. -- because my laptop doesn't have page up and page down keys. So I'm always hate having to scroll through the lists, because I can only use the arrow keys and it is soooo slow.

I've owned my laptop for over four years. Minutes ago, I noticed for the first time that the arrow keys say "page ^", "page v", "< home", and "end >". I can press fn + up/down to do page up or page down. It took me four years to notice this. Granted, I didn't have much need for page up or page down until I started playing Dwarf Fortress a few months ago, but still -- four years!

Umm... I'm pretty sure you can also reassign the scrolling to other keys than PgUp & PgDn from the keybindings menu in DF...

[Pukako]

Wondered why Urist McUselessPeasant was so happy, and was leading in kids produced.  Turns out I gave his tiny hovel my first artifact - a 'shell opal door', worth 1/2 the total value of the fort.

What's be bet if I remove it, he will commit suicide or something...

Be better if this was the first time I've done it - gave a farmer a dog bone bed (artifact) - 8 kids later....

[MaximumZero]

Wow, his wife must've really liked that bed.

[Thadius]

So, wait, you're saying valuable artifacts make married dwarves more 'productive'?

Congrats.  You've discovered Dwarven Prozac and kicked off the Dwarven Selective Breeding Program.

[MaximumZero]

Mayor: I grant this newlywed couple a masterwork table as a wedding gift.

Couple: Oh, thank you, ser, we appreci...

Mayor: And in return, the Fortress expects no less than a dozen new workers from this couple. Off you go, for the good of the Mountainhomes.

[Drakeero]

Eh, being kinda nooby and fresh to DF, my facepalm moment is kinda tame I believe.

It was winter and some dwarves had gotten the bad habit of using the iced over river as a shortcut while carrying cut wood.  Then the ice poofed and I'm short two more dwarves.  Ug, it wouldn't be so bad if hadn't immigrants stopped showing up.  Why?  I have a stable economy [not for long if some dwarves don't decide to quit their "break" and get back to work] and a bunch of wealth and more booze then the mountainhomes themselves of a dozen different varieties.

All the idiots probably decided to go to Boatmurdered instead....

[Stworca]

My immovable fortress was almost ready. Strong fortress on ground level, lots of traps, dug deep and still lived.

I finished channeling my moat and went back to mining (as my magma forges had to be expanded) a minute later i came back to ground -1 level to order more Still's constructed and.. Yes.. The moat.. 

I keep owning myself with channel command


Not to mention dwarves walling themselves on the wrong side of hell... 

[Lord Shonus]

Given the typical dwarven fort, wouldn't YOU prefer hell?

[Stworca]

Given the typical dwarven fort, wouldn't YOU prefer hell?

A fair point! 

[hvlkn]

Given the typical dwarven fort, wouldn't YOU prefer hell?

definitely

[Mythos]

I just had a tremendous one that made me actually facepalm. I got a message saying that an Ettin had come. I immediately mobilized my military to deal with the new threat, giving them a kill order to stop the Ettin. And then... they went to the statue garden. And sat there... and that's not even the facepalm. I proceed to panic, only to then realize with a mix of relief and feelings of stupidity that apparently Ettins are vulnerable to cage traps. I now have a caged Ettin.

[Greiger]

Embarked on a map that is partially aquifer, and digging out the first rooms I discovered damp stone.  Since it is actual stone and not soil I'm thinking the aquifer itself is in the soil layer above and the indicators are just there because it's adjacent to water, not actually part of the aquifer.

I dig a little test channel into the soil above and sure enough, it fills up with water.  Which I falsely believed confirmed my hypothesis.  And then I carried on with the workshop room digging as normal.

I was wrong.

Fortunately I was paranoid and kept a close eye on the mining, spotted the water immediately, and evacuated all floors at and below that level so no one died from the mistake.  But that big oddly shaped half-fortress full of water directly under the main entrance is going to be pretty hard to explain to the mountainhome.

[deoxys413]

I just had a tremendous one that made me actually facepalm. I got a message saying that an Ettin had come. I immediately mobilized my military to deal with the new threat, giving them a kill order to stop the Ettin. And then... they went to the statue garden. And sat there... and that's not even the facepalm. I proceed to panic, only to then realize with a mix of relief and feelings of stupidity that apparently Ettins are vulnerable to cage traps. I now have a caged Ettin.

I had a similar instance with a wombat clown in hell, it's the only variety that has poisonous blood, so I naturally freak out when they start pathing my way.

She went from the northmost tile to the southmost to scratch an elven trade liason in half and then exited the map on the north side. I'm not really sure if I should honor her or what.