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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2210809 times)

Pukako

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2655 on: September 26, 2010, 05:32:25 am »

Clusteredhalls was going quite well - built at the base of a large volcano, full of magma to about 90 levels above me, magma forges churning out bronze goodies and everyone safe as I'd walled off a large portion of the outside world and lined the land outside that with bridges and cage traps.  No pits, just bridges and dozens of levers.

Worked quite well.  Several large sieges ended when the goblins ran through the gauntlet of raising and lowering bridges, and the survivors ran away. Collected about 60 caged goblins and trolls.  Had previously flooded half a level with magma getting said forges running, so put all them just beside the one magma-retaining floodgate.

Built the walls about 6 levels high, and was building it higher (for safety) when a large force of darkness descended from the other side of the volcano.  Turned out the highest level of the walls was actually touching a ramp to allow easy access.  Three times I scumsaved, and tried to hurry up the building of this highest level, and each time, the dwarves were slaughtered.  Forth time I realised that if I didn't try building higher, and didn't build the next level of stairs, they couldn't get into my fortress... Facepalm moment when I realised that in the previous three attempts I started off by hurrying to build a stairway around my traps.

That attempt went better - except when confronted by several squads of elite crossbowgoblins, I thought dwarves would stay safe behind four levels of wall.  No - they all climb up to the top level and get shot, until I manage to remove the lowest stair up the walls, leaving most of the population somewhere in the walls.

I decided to open the front drawbridge and let the fortress be slaughtered.  Mayhem as I put every lever on "pull" and it looked like it was all over, until a jeweller got enraged and chased four trolls around the map, killing them all, and the two surviving members of militia seemingly chased half the goblins off the map. 

But by this time I'd opened the magma floodgate (lower levels, central staircase leading into caverns). Goblins in metals traps roasted.  Hydra in wooden trap didn't, and escaped, killing my newly legendary wrestler.  Meanwhile lava hitting the cavern water slowed the FPS right down.

86 dwarves started that invasion, 34 survived, but just as I built 52 coffins and tombs, I got 27 migrants, including some useful skills, and all looked good, when the game crashed.  I'm not going through that trauma again...

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Because DF players are heavily into pain.

Victuz

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2656 on: September 26, 2010, 01:54:26 pm »

Well... My fortress and 10 soldiers got butchered by a SINGLE goblin master thief... yeah...

It went like that. I just finished making entrenchments around my fortress (there were only 2 points of entrance to the "outside" area and I trapped both of them) soon a goblin master thief appeared in the entrenchment right below my traps (either he got there before I deleted all the ramps or he dodged traps and fell in), at first I ignored him and decided to let him starve. But my dwarves kept getting interrupted by him when they tried to rearm the traps on the entrance into the area. So I decided "meh It's just a thief, my 10 newbie soldiers will deal with him" so I opened a door to the entrenchment which basically led to a long corridor connected to the barracks (exactly for the reason of occasional cleaning the entrenchments), he got in there, went straight to barracks and when he got in there I locked him in with all 10 of my soldiers.

I should mention that 4 of my soldiers had 1 spearman skill and 6 of them had NO skill at using weapons whatsoever. I predicted that there will be damage but not THAT damage. After he easily butchered 8 of them (cutting the head out of 2 Oo) the other two marked as "crossbowdwarfs" just stood next to him and did nothing, naturally his reaction was:
Goblin Master thief: "we cool?"
Cowardly dwarfs: "yeah we cool, please don't kill us". I opened the door hoping that he will not kill anyone else and just go STRAIGHT to the exit... he didn't...
After he killed 10 more of my dwarves he got killed by my legendary miner who apparently hit him in the head with a pickaxe. At first I went "yay" but right after that 2 goblin ambushes arrived... Abandoning Fortress + epic facepalm.

Although I can't say, seeing my n00by soldiers getting butchered was fun :).
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I once flung a migrant off a bridge. He collided with the brook cliff and died.
A year later, my legendary engraver engraved him colliding with an obstacle and dying.

GaxkangtheUnbound

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2657 on: September 26, 2010, 01:58:45 pm »

I butcher a few animals and chop a tree for my strange mood person.
Guess what?
He makes a high boot.
With depictions of the ascension of a draconian to primarch(King), promotion of a draconian to arch dracon(General), and a bat.
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bremarv

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2658 on: September 26, 2010, 02:17:34 pm »

an immigrant with skills in armor and weapon smithing gets a mood shortly after arriving. On the way back to the fort he is ambushed by goblins who gets his legs and slaugther him just before the military arrives  >:(
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eyemdastrongest

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2659 on: September 26, 2010, 06:02:20 pm »

Setup a fort in the caverns, and bunked it down with bridges so when the forgotten beast's started coming, they wouldn't get in... Only to have one come up through my well...

 :'(
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Vhorthex

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2660 on: September 26, 2010, 08:50:49 pm »

Carefully tending to my little squad of 3 dwarfs for about 1 year, getting ready for the inevitable waves of gargoyles (Genesis Mod).

And then, finally, Gargoyles arrive! The military is assembled, they wait for them to swoop in. The dwarfs charge fiercly towards them, the gargoyles land near a little lake next to the fortress. The battle ensues around the lake, we are even assisted by some elf caravan guards. Epic!

BUT... As they fight near the lake, my dwarfs axe gets stuck in the gargoyle, and the elf rushes the gargoyle all 3 fall in the lake...

The gargoyle dies while vomiting incessently, while my dwarf drowns alongside the elf. Oh and to paint a grimmer picture, the dwarf drowning was a female and her kid watched the whole thing on the edge of the lake... I tried to channel a ramp but it was too late.

Fighting near lakes is bad... M'kay!
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Vhorthex
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NKDietrich

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2661 on: September 26, 2010, 11:13:35 pm »

Generating the same world over and over for 15 minutes because I forgot to delete the seed from the world gen file... and not realizing I was doing it.
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arzzult

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2662 on: September 27, 2010, 02:53:34 am »

Ah here is one that just hit me.

"Urist McExpeditionLeader is taken by a fey mood!"
"The outpost liaison Urist McWhatEver from Tun Dume has arrived."
"A caravan from Tun Dumed has arrived."
"A diplomat has left unhappy."

*sigh* and all he made was a galena mug with no decorations. Valued at 12000 dwarfbucks though.
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I just realized two things. 1. For the Win and F___ the World have the same initials. 2. They have the same meaning in Dwarf Fortress.

Serio

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2663 on: September 27, 2010, 08:01:02 am »

BUT... As they fight near the lake, my dwarfs axe gets stuck in the gargoyle, and the elf rushes the gargoyle all 3 fall in the lake...
And ever since that day, the dwarves have had a tumultuous relationship with the elves.
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Boes

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2664 on: September 27, 2010, 06:53:54 pm »

I found out why it's a bad idea to mod the raws to have:

[MELTING_POINT:9000]
[BOILING_POINT:9001]

for all the junk stone laying around my fortress,  I forgot that the bridges that were holding back both the magma and ocean from filling my fortress were made from some of the junk stone that I had changed.

Dead: 25

1 baby is all that survived that flood.
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Life has a 100% mortality rate.

MaximumZero

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2665 on: September 27, 2010, 06:58:39 pm »

*sublimate* Hey, where did the walls goarghlebleughblubblub...
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Jacob/Lee

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2666 on: September 28, 2010, 08:56:17 am »

I butcher a few animals and chop a tree for my strange mood person.
Guess what?
He makes a high boot.
With depictions of the ascension of a draconian to primarch(King), promotion of a draconian to arch dracon(General), and a bat.
I know how you feel, a right gauntlet made out of a single bar of copper with a picture of itself on it  ::)

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2667 on: September 28, 2010, 09:15:21 am »

I will punch you while I punch you while I punch you...
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deoxys413

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2668 on: September 28, 2010, 10:41:40 am »

I'm not sure if this qualifies, but I facepalmed anywho. Wombat demons are the only demons that have poisonous blood in my world, so when they show up on the north side of the map and start immediately pathing south I freak out. Everyone doesn't manage to get in on time so I get ready to save-scum. The demon pathed to the south of the map to punch out the elven trade liason that was out there, and then left the map from the north end... *relief sigh*
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shadowzfire

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2669 on: September 28, 2010, 10:57:45 am »

It was one of my first fortresses, set in a nice valley, lots of trees, magma and all sorts of other undead things. I was mining down until suddenly an announcement of interest came to me. My fish cleaner had apparently gone insane... What proceeded was the scariest moments my fortress ever had, no my fortress was slaughtered, not by demons, not by undead, by the fish cleaner. He killed all 30 of the population. I payed no attention to him going mad thinking my champions would slaughter him but no apparently it didn't happen like so.

So now I take great care not to piss off my fish cleaners. Their dangerous I tell you dangerous!
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