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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2137050 times)

Urist son of Urist

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2565 on: September 15, 2010, 04:07:21 pm »

I accidentally sent a full squad out after a goblin thief...armed with training weapons.

Now I've got ten dorfs with stab wounds sitting in the hospital.  They didn't kill the Goblin, either.  Although they DID break both of his legs and smash most of his fingers.
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Taco Dan

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2566 on: September 15, 2010, 06:43:52 pm »

So I'm playing Dwarf Fortress, not really paying attention. Suddenly I see that a cheese maker had gone berserk, I don't know why, I didn't remember getting a mood yet. The first thing he does is kill four people in rapid succesion, then chases everyone else around.

I could almost hear Yakkity Sax playing as several dwarves would outrun him and try to get in a snack or a nap only to find that he's just around the corner. His main target was my brewer and I was already short on booze, so those who weren't killed by the Cheese Maker were dying of dehydration, the Cheese Maker finally petered out and died, and so I have three, inexperienced dwarves left. Greeeat.

EDIT: Make that two, one of them just committed suicide.
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I think I would remember if I had amnesia.
I'd like to remind everyone that half of the time I don't even know what I'm talking about. The other half of the time I only sort of know what I'm talking about.

nekoexmachina

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2567 on: September 15, 2010, 07:29:05 pm »

my legendary axedorf (in full adamantine with ad. axe) has just dodged an arrow into volcano.
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Whenever i read the "doesn't care about anything anymore" line, i instantly imagine a dwarf, sitting alone on a swing set. Just slowly rocking back and forth, somberly staring at the ground, and stopping every once in a while to sigh.
It's mildly depressing.

Samrobot

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2568 on: September 15, 2010, 08:50:54 pm »

my legendary axedorf (in full adamantine with ad. axe) has just dodged an arrow into volcano.

Damnit all that good cotton candy gone to waste :'(
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Dwarf Fortress: we take assisted suicide of minors very seriously!

vadia

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2569 on: September 15, 2010, 10:13:02 pm »

I had all my dwarves safely in fortress type walls--- who sees where this one is going?

Goblin bowmen shriek with delight -- ITS A SHOOTING GALLERY.
Then, Same fortress, I manage to somehow forget that the training spears don't go.  "Awww what a cute little baby" and find that I've killed the baby I've been trying to produce so long.
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Reese

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2570 on: September 16, 2010, 02:07:16 am »

with a challenge fort I started to test out an entrance type...

It has an aquifer... and I am breaking through it the hard way using pumps and building walls.

I'm in the middle of the second year and almost have the retaining wall built out of logs...

and a migrant gets a strange mood...

and he's a glass maker...

and glass furnaces cannot be made out of wood.
(I actually do have access to sand... but my intention was to build a workshop for him to be moody in and just wall him in to it.)

and then he goes berserk and kills off a couple dogs and a puppy and my book keeper.

and then I notice he's chasing my expedition leader who happens to be a miner, so I activate him and pick out the glass maker's brains in a couple seconds.

oh, and for the first time ever I managed to cut down enough trees to get the attention of the elves, and the elf master surgeon showed up to ask me to stop cutting down trees... of course, this is after I'm almost able to access stone and stop using wood except for forge fuel- too little, too late.
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All glory to the Hypno-Toady!

Spectre

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2571 on: September 16, 2010, 02:10:37 am »

Why didn't you bring even one stone while knowing you where about an aquifer?
Stone -> Wood Furnace -> Ash -> Glass Furnace
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RumblingNoise

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2572 on: September 16, 2010, 09:01:21 am »

I embarked on a glacier, dwarves started to grumble and a legendary miner went berserk and killed all 40 of my dwarves but one dwarf managed to survive by hiding in the tunnels where pathfinding dared not enter.
In the end, the miner met a most dangerous foe, a cow.

So, my whole fortress could'nt subdue a single miner, yet this cow was more dwarfy than all of them  :o
I need to reward the cow somehow.
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This is a forum post (text). All Craftsdwarfship is of the lowest quality. It is encrusted with typos, decorated with personal insults and (funny) pictures and encircled with flaming. It is made from text. This post menaces with dry humor and poor writing. On the post is an image of smellbad the sweaty sock in color.
On the post is a personal opinion of RumblingNoise the dwarf in black text. The dwarf is cursing. The artwork relates to the crafting of a post in 20XX.

Gutanoth

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2573 on: September 16, 2010, 09:38:24 am »

Create a massive field for it to wander about in. With a specially designed hill for the haunting moos to echo through the fortress.
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Reese

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2574 on: September 16, 2010, 05:09:22 pm »

Why didn't you bring even one stone while knowing you where about an aquifer?
Stone -> Wood Furnace -> Ash -> Glass Furnace

because it's a face palm... and I probably would have tuned it in to a mechanism anyway- I've been using screw pumps to go around corners while powering the pumps that clear the building sites
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Libelnon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2575 on: September 16, 2010, 05:29:15 pm »

I've been attempting an above grounder for a while now. I'm on my fourth attempt.

First time, we embarked okay, everything was going brilliantly. The fishery was set up, the town well, a storage warehouse for fish and I was beginning work on a dormitory when, suddenly, the entire map freezes over and blocks the well. Uhoh. Being above ground, with no booze, no herbalist, no brewer and no spare barrels, we ran out of dwarves before a successful attempt at reviving my drink stocks had paid off.
Second try. I picked a slightly different embark this time, and situated my fort over a waterfall in the stream that flowed directly into another stream. It was a neat, picturesque location - a cute little stream flowing through the middle of a conifer forest. However, I wanted to position a 'slum' style area directly next to the stream, and on a lower level than the rest of the fortress. Fair enough, there was a large depression not far away, I'll just widen that. So I did. All it took was a freak cavein, and my miner is stuck down with a nervous injury to his lower spine. 'Quick,' I thought. 'Build a small building nearby to act as a hospital'. Didn't take too long, the hospital was set up, and the doctor immediately patched my miner up. All's well, then, just needed to survive until he'd healed enough, right? Six months later, a sasquatch sneaks into the hospital and slaughters him and the woodcutter. I reassign their jobs to the mason and carpenter. Then the mason recreates the miner's accident and chucks himself into the river. With the pick.
Third attempt, I chose the same location as last time but with a more careful approach. The settlement was set up perfectly fine, the slum area was dug out smoothly, the early bridges were constructed and functional. I was quite proud of it when- Wait, what's this? Oh, great. An ocean titan turns up and burns the entire thing to a cinder.
I'm now about to start a fourth attempt. Wish me luck.
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I bet manly tea tastes like crushed nerd dreams.

Dachande

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2576 on: September 16, 2010, 05:45:15 pm »

....


Probably.. When I opened a cage.

Containing a dragon with 600 kills.

That was in my statuary (or w/e you call it)

During a party.

Lesson learned: Don't pull random levers. Especially when you always forget to add notes.

Oh, and basically what happened was the dragon wrecked my shit, as you might infer from the whole dragon in the fucking statuary situation.
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Urist McTaverish

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2577 on: September 16, 2010, 08:44:42 pm »

Just made a too-big space for outflow for my pump stack to drain the aquifer... Luckily the stack is powered by wind, but since I channeled out about ten squares above the aquifer I might not breach it with any speed. :o
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Here at Bay12, we're constantly looking for ways to set the world on fire.
But at least after all the chaos, the weather cleared.

Sphalerite

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2578 on: September 16, 2010, 08:47:22 pm »

Today's lesson:

When you are playing an experimental mod with over a hundred civilizations added to it and have made most of them active in multiple seasons per year, you will be interrupted constantly by caravan arrival messages.  On the plus side, I know know that a single trade depot can handle over a dozen trade caravans simultaneously with no problem.
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Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius --- and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.

MaximumZero

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2579 on: September 16, 2010, 08:50:09 pm »

I've wanted to do something like that, but I'm worried about what they would look like on the map. I really should just go ahead and do it, though.
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting
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