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[Beardless]

I'm busy upgrading my main entrance from green to clear glass. This is slightly complicated by the fact that said entrance is punched through an aquifer. I've got the pumps roaring, but for aesthetic reasons, they don't have complete coverage. No matter, it'll all happen eventually. After the first segment of retaining wall comes down, some idiot woodcutter gets the bright idea to take down her segment from the wet side.

Naturally, she has to cancel almost immediately, and decides to take a nap. Right there. In the mud. The same spot where the water was too deep to work in. Right beneath a bank of screw pumps roaring away at full power.

I really don't know what to say.

[hailthefish]

Anybody ever notice that the broker always gets hungry, thirsty, tired, and needs a break RIGHT WHEN a vital caravan shows up?

[BlackRogue]

Of course, and all at the same time too.

[Epacsten]

I try to have more than one dwarf with the appraisal skill so I can appoint someone else when that inevitably happens.

[NightmareBros]

One of my dwarves just died of thirst.
In the middle of the biggest party my fortress has thrown since the last party.
Said party has now turned into a gigantic fistfight. Tantruming legendary wrestler FTW.

[kaijyuu]

Suddenly, my fortress was filling with water. Odd, since my irrigation system was long sealed off. All I have is this indoor waterfall that drains into a cavern...


Oh.... It seems a tree grew in my drainage pipe.

[fanatic]

Anybody ever notice that the broker always gets hungry, thirsty, tired, and needs a break ON HIS WAY TO THE DEPOT , RIGHT WHEN a vital caravan shows up?

Yes.

[einstein9073]

Suddenly, my fortress was filling with water. Odd, since my irrigation system was long sealed off. All I have is this indoor waterfall that drains into a cavern...
Oh.... It seems a tree grew in my drainage pipe.

I had this problem in the fill pipe for my cistern. *facedesk*
Opened it back up, built a road, closed it off again...

[Bralbaard]

My current fortress, randomly but aptly named Woundcolored, has had its share of problems with skeletal elephants ever since it was founded. I thought I finally had found the solution.

Piece of advice: never try to kill skeletal elephants with lava, just don't.
I now have a herd of burning skelephants stampeding through my fortress, spreading fire. It just doesn't seem to kill them. I had nice studded iron doors to keep the pachiderms out to, but found out too late that they are blocked by rubbish.

Edit: One of the skeletal elephants actually had severe battle wounds before being set on fire, it misses three legs, and is dragging itself along by its trunk, burning everything in its path. It's quite horrible to watch.

[Libelnon]

My current fortress, randomly but aptly named Woundcolored, has had its share of problems with skeletal elephants ever since it was founded. I thought I finally had found the solution.

Piece of advice: never try to kill skeletal elephants with lava, just don't.
I now have a herd of burning skelephants stampeding through my fortress, spreading fire. It just doesn't seem to kill them. I had nice studded iron doors to keep the pachiderms out to, but found out too late that they are blocked by rubbish.

Edit: One of the skeletal elephants actually had severe battle wounds before being set on fire, it misses three legs, and is dragging itself along by its trunk, burning everything in its path. It's quite horrible to watch.

I actually rofled.

[majikero]

I built a nice fort on ice. Carved out rooms, some nice large warehouse, a farm under a aquificer near the taiga. Now all I need are weapons so I dig for iron, after several z-levels and 2 caverns I realize there's no iron or flux, how am I suppose to fight with copper? I abandoned and looked at the site, there's no sedimentary layers. All that work for nothing.

[Tenth Speed Writer]

My best mason stonewalled </pun> my efforts to create a Hall of Historic Dwarven Badassery by creating a chain of statues depicting my mayor and her favorite things. He did, though, redeem himself by later finishing a =Statue= of said mayor terrified and surrounded by cave spiders.

[Falconer Lombard]

I decided to remove the fps cap on my fort just to see what it could do. Bad move, my fps rocketed up to 300,000+ when I was irrigating the farms. The water filled the fort before I could get to the lever.

Guess I better put the cap back on.

[Teh_Havvers]

Okay, what was originally a minor facepalm has turned into a full on headdesk.

So I want to get at a piece of wood that's fallen into a murky pool, since my current megaproject requires lots of wood and I'm trying to salvage every piece of the stuff I can get my hands on.

Now, said murky pool is just one mined tile away from my depot drowning trap. I bust open the pool and watch in horror as my perfectly serviceable trap is completely flooded over by an aquifer that had been cleverly hiding in plain sight. My "plan" and I use the word plan here generously, is to rescue the depot trap by damming over the aquifer with lava. It works well enough, but I decide the lava isn't draining fast enough so I can recover the land for other uses, so I order one of my dwarves to tear open a hole in the wall to speed things up. Said dwarf decided he WASN'T going to try to run away from the red-hot death liquid. Said dwarf was also my legendary gem cutter.

[Urist McTaverish]

Digging a channel up a mountain in such a way that all my miners were caught in a cave-in.  Some died, all the others were too injured to continue, and I didn't have an infirmary set up yet.