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[Dungeon]

/My/ mayor has yet to make any mandates. Maybe it's since I outfit his rooms with solid GOLD, and he was humbled surviving being trapped for 6 months in stagnant water. He's been a mayor for ages, so it's a little odd.

Lucky, I've been on an epic quest for gold and magma. Found alot of ore's I can use, and gems, and more slate then I'll ever need. But, I think I need to dig alot deeper.

[Zauren]

You need to dig past 3 caverns to find lava. On the plus side it usually comes with at least a bit of adamantium. I've got plenty of gold... I'll trade it for only 100,000 dwarf bucks a bar.

[smigenboger]

Last night I sat down with a large glass of straight vodka with ice, and got to work on my small fort that some day will be guarded by nothing but grizzly bears, and a small group of wrestlers so grizzly and hairy you couldn't tell them apart.

The humans came and I forgot to tell the gift shop to restock the souvenir earrings and coffee mugs, so I thought, 'well certainly my overstock of unicorns would fetch a great price!'

Terror ensued. Apparently you can only handle tame animals?

[Dungeon]

You need to dig past 3 caverns to find lava. On the plus side it usually comes with at least a bit of adamantium. I've got plenty of gold... I'll trade it for only 100,000 dwarf bucks a bar.

Well, I'm either gonna fear or facepalm. But Caverns are in 40D right?, cause for the life of me the Wiki isn't confirming.

[smigenboger]

No caverns in 40d

[lanceleoghauni]

Oh for the sake of armok *facepalm*

My anvil is a dozen or so Z levels above the waterlineFAR above my self imposed ceiling.

Should I wait until the river thaws and retrieve it? I do not get merchants anymore, and without it I fear even HonoredSalve will have problems. We will be forced to start metalworking soon...

[Dungeon]

No caverns in 40d

*Facepalm*

Then I better be damn lucky.

[person5]

I had a small fort (about 20 dwarves) that breached a cave.  Instead of walling it off, I put a string of cage traps in front of the entrance which caught a number of creatures, including a gcs.  I never even noticed until i checked the "u" screen, and noticed a gcs listed as caged. 
Anyway, i decided that it would be a good idea to sell the gcs to merchants, because i didn't have the facilities or the dwarfpower (and spare kittens) to make one.
I learned 3 things. 

• It takes a special skill to move cages successfully.
• Just because a dwarf has been mining for several years does not mean he has a chance of harming a gcs, it just means that you will spend several minutes watching him being repeatedly killed by a gcs.
• That high master fish dissector you received on a map with no moghoppers will die within seconds.
• GCS are very stupid, and may path directly into a cage trap at your fort's enterance despite the fact that there are no dwarves up near there.
• The mere fact that you have five dwarves left will not stop you from getting bored and trying to flood your fortress.
• The game has a weird sense of humor, and winter will strike(and freeze the river) the moment you open the floodgates.

After this triumph of dwarven science, i just got bored and abandoned.

[Bronze Dog]

Today: New fort. Almost immediately started smelting coal and iron bars to quickly get steel outfits for my future military. I finish 60 bars of iron and put in the order to turn 30 of them into pig iron.

Urist McSmelter cancels Make Pig Iron Bars: Needs stone.

<Check wiki>

...I don't have any flux.

[Untouchable]

Today: New fort. Almost immediately started smelting coal and iron bars to quickly get steel outfits for my future military. I finish 60 bars of iron and put in the order to turn 30 of them into pig iron.

Urist McSmelter cancels Make Pig Iron Bars: Needs stone.

<Check wiki>

...I don't have any flux.

And that's why you always look for flux first.

[Medicine Man]

I got a whole load of "Useless" migrants so i dropped them down my migrant disposal machine and they survived but were about to bleed out,i check their skills again and i notice i had turned off some things that view skills so i turned them on and FU#K!!!They were all highly skilled and had the skills i needed for my fortress.

[Captain Hammer]

Last night I sat down with a large glass of straight vodka with ice, and got to work on my small fort that some day will be guarded by nothing but grizzly bears, and a small group of wrestlers so grizzly and hairy you couldn't tell them apart.

The humans came and I forgot to tell the gift shop to restock the souvenir earrings and coffee mugs, so I thought, 'well certainly my overstock of unicorns would fetch a great price!'

Terror ensued. Apparently you can only handle tame animals?

The above is awesome... jus' sayin'

[person5]

One of my fortresses was getting cluttered, and i had no idea why there was no rubbish in my rubbish stockpile.  I had put it on the other side of the river, and forgotten that only brooks can be crossed with no bridge. *facepalm*

[Masennus]

I had a dwarf early in the life of my fortress get an unresolvable mood due to the shell problem.

Facepalm 1: He happened to be the only dwarf currently assigned a weapon.

When he went berserk a brave dog distracted him while my other dwarves got to ground inside the fortress. I hadn't built many doors yet, but eventually the lunatic found his way into a room where I could seal him in.

The moment I clicked the door locked I got a message. One of my dwarves has given birth! Well, I thought, that will conveniently keep my population steady as the berserk dwarf dies of thirst. Where do I recognize that parent's name from?

Facepalm 2: Baby locked in with murderous mother.

She hammered the poor child with her crossbow until she died of dehydration. The child survived with red wounds on all his fingers and toes and three teeth missing.

[abchiptop]

i just learned that dry grass burns.

quickly.

lost two dwarves and 3 hunting dogs