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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2129862 times)

Greiger

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1800 on: June 04, 2010, 06:25:55 pm »

Don't worry even long time players have facepalm moments.

Going for a ramping downward spiral entrance to my .05 fort. Water diverted in from the local river (which actually has fish in it now! yay!). My usual method is just a 3x3 stack of up/down stairs. Though it's not like this is something I haven't done hundreds of times before, I managed to screw it up.

Digging the channel to connect the river to the central waterfall, no failsafe installed.  No mechanic and as I said before, I did this hundreds of times before I don't need a failsafe, I have plenty of drainage into the cavern.  Unfortunately I forgot to channel out one level of the hole the waterfall passes through and it begins flooding the fortress.  It's not too bad though, a lot of the water is flowing down the ramps to the lower levels where the water can drain away.  I designate a wall to be built to keep most of the water out of the workshops and my two double duty miner/masons rush to work to build them.

..and then promptly get washed down the ramps into the drainage pit and fall 8 z levels into the cavern making a awesome sounding wet splat, the fortress' only picks in tow.

and there's my facepalm for the day.  Double check your drainage systems to make sure they are fully channeled out before connecting your water source.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2010, 06:29:07 pm by Greiger »
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Djohaal

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1801 on: June 04, 2010, 10:03:09 pm »

Don't worry even long time players have facepalm moments.

Going for a ramping downward spiral entrance to my .05 fort. Water diverted in from the local river (which actually has fish in it now! yay!). My usual method is just a 3x3 stack of up/down stairs. Though it's not like this is something I haven't done hundreds of times before, I managed to screw it up.

Digging the channel to connect the river to the central waterfall, no failsafe installed.  No mechanic and as I said before, I did this hundreds of times before I don't need a failsafe, I have plenty of drainage into the cavern.  Unfortunately I forgot to channel out one level of the hole the waterfall passes through and it begins flooding the fortress.  It's not too bad though, a lot of the water is flowing down the ramps to the lower levels where the water can drain away.  I designate a wall to be built to keep most of the water out of the workshops and my two double duty miner/masons rush to work to build them.

..and then promptly get washed down the ramps into the drainage pit and fall 8 z levels into the cavern making a awesome sounding wet splat, the fortress' only picks in tow.

and there's my facepalm for the day.  Double check your drainage systems to make sure they are fully channeled out before connecting your water source.

That sir, is epic.
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I really want that one as a "when". I want "grubs", and "virgin woman" to turn into a dragon. and monkey children to suddenly sprout wings. And I want the Dwarven Mutant Academy to only gain their powers upon reaching puberty. I also have a whole host of odd creatures that only make sense if I divide them into children and adults.

Also, tadpoles.

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1802 on: June 05, 2010, 01:16:39 am »

I just embarked on a cave on a glacier. I don't think I will survive. My dwarves ended up on top of the cave. There was a giant inside (that's what I get for not doing my research). I had three axes and three mail shirts (I was ready for a fight). My dwarves kill the giant and what comes rushing out of the cave?

Five more giants.

EDIT: Three seconds, the giants zerg rush the cave entrance, and...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The planter is standing on corpse #5.

EDIT2: [wtf]THERE WAS ANOTHER GIANTESS IN THE CAVERNS.[/wtf] Emphasis on "was." My dwarves chased it to the edge of the map, where a giant cave spider spawned a few seconds later - immediately after axedwarf training on live targets was set to be over. Needless to say, the axedwarves were still there, and used the spider as extra credit.

And that was my first spring on the glacier of Joyuos Hellish Wilds.
« Last Edit: June 05, 2010, 01:36:27 am by Urist Imiknorris »
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Biag

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1803 on: June 05, 2010, 02:33:52 pm »

Started a new fort yesterday. It was going smoothly; I had dug down to the caverns, I had fought off around ten or so ghouls with minimal casualties, and I had food and booze production set up. My two miners (one of which was my best warrior) were digging out a three-level dining room. There were going to be floors in between levels, and it would get smaller. The idea was that the largest level would be the "rich" hall, and the smallest would be for the poor people. That didn't work out so well.

You see, I thought that all the floors above my two miners were supported.

I thought.

And that's how my miners sacrificed themselves, my picks, and twenty tons of rock to discover a great magma sea.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1804 on: June 05, 2010, 04:35:55 pm »

But now you can make a dining hall suspended above an ocean of magma. ;)
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FuzzyDoom

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1805 on: June 06, 2010, 01:28:06 am »

But now you can make a dining hall suspended above an ocean of magma. ;)

"I think my steak is a little undercooked."

"Just hold it over the side for a second."

Epic.
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Also bear in mind that dwarves have their heads at a perfect height for a good face-kicking.
That's the great thing about this forum. We can derail any discussion into any other topic.

Keldor

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1806 on: June 06, 2010, 08:38:54 am »

Well, at least I've confirmed that crossbows work properly for hunting in the new version...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yeah... So after the hunter unloaded a full quiver into the camel, it eventually bled out... with no less than 4 bolts sticking out of it... :o
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If ignorance is bliss, why are my dwarves all tantruming?

zergl

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1807 on: June 06, 2010, 08:49:23 am »

Well, at least I've confirmed that crossbows work properly for hunting in the new version...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yeah... So after the hunter unloaded a full quiver into the camel, it eventually bled out... with no less than 4 bolts sticking out of it... :o

What bolts is your hunter using?

I usually let mine use silver/steel (whatever the goblins drop, really) bolts and he tends to oneshot animals quite a lot.
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Haspen

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1808 on: June 06, 2010, 09:08:11 am »

Well, at least I've confirmed that crossbows work properly for hunting in the new version...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yeah... So after the hunter unloaded a full quiver into the camel, it eventually bled out... with no less than 4 bolts sticking out of it... :o

What bolts is your hunter using?

I usually let mine use silver/steel (whatever the goblins drop, really) bolts and he tends to oneshot animals quite a lot.

The bolts leftovers are yellow. Bismuth bronze or some kind of wood, I believe.
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Keldor

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1809 on: June 06, 2010, 09:09:45 am »

Well, at least I've confirmed that crossbows work properly for hunting in the new version...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yeah... So after the hunter unloaded a full quiver into the camel, it eventually bled out... with no less than 4 bolts sticking out of it... :o

What bolts is your hunter using?

I usually let mine use silver/steel (whatever the goblins drop, really) bolts and he tends to oneshot animals quite a lot.

The bolts leftovers are yellow. Bismuth bronze or some kind of wood, I believe.

Probably bismuth bronze - whatever he came onto the map with, since he was a recent migrant ranger.
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If ignorance is bliss, why are my dwarves all tantruming?

Greiger

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1810 on: June 06, 2010, 10:47:09 am »

In my experience once he runs out of bolts he will never hunt again.  So make sure you keep him supplied :)
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INSANEcyborg

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1811 on: June 06, 2010, 06:00:02 pm »

Here's a list of moments from my current fort:

The world I made was small, and there was only 1 dwarf civilization.   They didn't have plump helmets, sweet pods, or dimple cups.  I figured there would be some in the caverns at my fort so I didn't think much of it.   The first two levels were barren, the third only had Bloodthorns growing.   So for underground farming, all I have are quarry bushes, pig tails, and cave wheat.   Hope my dwarfs like salad, biscuits, beer and ale.

First year, getting my underground farms set up.  I finished them around mid autumn, and sent the planter to work.  Only I guess it was too late in the season to plant, and the planter didn't know either.  He somehow plants anyway, and when winter rolls around none of the plants were ready for harvest.  When checking the stocks, and seeing I had no plants or seeds, I realize they must have disappeared when the seasons changed.  I didn't notice until after the caravan left, so I had no seeds for next year either.

I had dug a massive cavern for an underground mega-project.  The stone was piling up faster than I could get rid of it so I started looking for a short cut.  I modded the useless less useful stone to boil away.  Only I set it to boil at a temp of 1, instead of room temperature.  It exploded like liquid nitrogen and now most of my dwarfs have frost bite.  Good news is that it only seems to be on their hair, but it shows up as yellow wounds and doesn't seem to be healing.

Same cavern.  I had dug out every other level with ramps.  That cleared it's level, the one above it, and the floor between, but left floors ever other level.  I collapsed the floors to get rid of them.  Had a couple of problems with that.  First I collapsed the whole thing at once, instead of just the top level and letting that crash though the rest, which caused a 10 minute delay as it calculated everything.  Second was that while I got rid of most stone, I left the marble.  And I didn't realize I had over 10,000 marble, all of which got pushed around by the dust, making even more lag.   Third was that all the marble was coated in multiple types of dust and I hadn't undone the modding to make stone boil.  It was fine if I let it sit but as soon as a dwarf moved it, the dust would boil off in a freezing cloud and cause more frostbite.

Got a message that a dwarf died from colliding with an obstacle.  I look around and see a kid at the bottom of the cavern.   No cave ins, not attacks, only thing that happened was that someone deconstructed a bridge above where he landed.  It didn't even lead anywhere, near as I can figure the kid was following his parent, who was the one taking down the bridge, and the kid walked out on it at the wrong time.

An elf merchant got attacked by some harpies; since he was leaving, and he was an elf, I didn't see a point in helping him.   The harpies weren't even attacking him, just his horse, and they couldn't kill it.  Instead of leaving though, he just runs around in circles, while dragging his horse with him.  The horse that is now leaving trails of blood and vomit all over the surface.   Eventually he goes into melancholy, and just stops.  He doesn't move at all, and just sits there while the harpies continue to beat on his horse.   The horse goes into melancholy about a month later, and some time after that they eventually bleed to death.

Last but not least, I finally got the king to show up at my fort.  I had been looking forward to it, and had set up some nice rooms for him.  Then I look at his status, and he's 160 years old.  Dwarfs die from old age between 150 and 170.  He could literally drop dead at any moment.

That's it, for now anyway.   All in all, one of my better forts  ;D
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FuzzyDoom

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1812 on: June 06, 2010, 08:53:27 pm »

Just had this one. On my first time in a biome where there was frozen water, I took a little too long to move stuff out of my wagon, and it being on a frozen pool, all the stuff that was still in the wagon is now at the bottom of the pool. That includes my anvil, lots of food, booze, and various seeds. This is going to be a pain.

Edit: Okay, this wasn't much of a face palm because I just drained the pool into my farm for mud and have just recovered all the items that I had previously lost. Yay!
« Last Edit: June 07, 2010, 01:10:15 am by FuzzyDoom »
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Also bear in mind that dwarves have their heads at a perfect height for a good face-kicking.
That's the great thing about this forum. We can derail any discussion into any other topic.

melomel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1813 on: June 07, 2010, 02:10:46 am »

There were two Forgotten Beasts in the caverns under my fort.  I know this because one of them, Avuz Eeloar the Umbral Spittle of Phlegm, came up and killed everything in sight before I panicked and save-scummed.

Fast-forward about 2-3 seasons later.  My untested drowning trap is one bridge-trigger away from action.  Then the miners, having been told to dig down a few levels, breach the cavern layer.  Whoops.

I decided to sacrifice a legendary miner.  There are six, and one of them doesn't have any friends.  Sorry, Rovod.  The good of the many, etc., yadda yadda.

He kills the weaker beast before it can even get its claws into a stray donkey calf.  I decide to save him, and give him orders to run away from the giant poison-breathing feathered newt-person.

And, about one second and one predictably disobedient dorf later, I have two dead stray donkeys and two dead beasts.  Every single part of him that exists is bruised, from tongue down to all ten toes, but he's still 100% in the white.  It didn't kill his pets.  It didn't even injure them.

I'm never save-scumming again.

ETA:  And then, immediately after, he goes from white to red and promptly bleeds to death, while aboveground, a dwarven kid falls in the drowning chamber.  Armok giveth and Armok taketh away.  :P
« Last Edit: June 07, 2010, 02:25:35 am by melomel »
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tompliss

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1814 on: June 07, 2010, 05:10:17 pm »

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