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[xtank5]

Isn't that floodgate going to be lever operated anyway?  Just build one and get him out.

[Beardless]

So much facepalming in my new fort, and it all has to do with the new military.

1) I embarked expecting to augment my food stores with hunting--and promptly discovered that crossbows basically don't work.

2) After playing with squad settings and getting familiar with them, decided to issue a kill order on a giant desert scorpion. A) The marksdwarf (who was cross-trained in hammers and therefore not completely useless) decided she was scared to leave the barracks, and kept running back every time she got more than ten squares away. B) My woodcutter/axedwarf, despite having successfully swapped between civilian and military status several times, decides that this time he needs to drop his axe before charging into battle. Hilarity ensued.

3) Marksdwarf gets over her phobia and catches the scorpion right at the edge of the map. She swings, she hits! --and the crossbow gets stuck in the wound. Oops.

4) One month later, I am informed that "Berlar, Giant Desert Scorpion has become attached to a pair of (pig tail trousers)!" Upon investigation I discover that yes, Berlar is wielding the unfortunate axedwarf's trousers and

5) beating the poor marksdwarf to a pulp with them. Literally. (Missing teeth, damaged organs, broken spine, massive bleeding...) Also, when the trousers get stuck in a wound, Berlar twists them.

6) Three months later, they're still at it. The poor marksdwarf is in even worse condition, but will not die. Or get hungry or thirsty, come to think of it. (I'm periodically taking screenshots of her [z] screen. The wounds section is running over 40 lines now.) I've had to disable the "Recover wounded" labor on all my dwarves due to job-cancellation spam.

7) In the middle of all of this, I noticed a new combat report. Apparently one of my war dogs killed a vulture, making it the best hunter AND fighter in my fort. And to think that I normally just tie them up to spot thieves...

[Milskidasith]

So much facepalming in my new fort, and it all has to do with the new military.

1) I embarked expecting to augment my food stores with hunting--and promptly discovered that crossbows basically don't work.

2) After playing with squad settings and getting familiar with them, decided to issue a kill order on a giant desert scorpion. A) The marksdwarf (who was cross-trained in hammers and therefore not completely useless) decided she was scared to leave the barracks, and kept running back every time she got more than ten squares away. B) My woodcutter/axedwarf, despite having successfully swapped between civilian and military status several times, decides that this time he needs to drop his axe before charging into battle. Hilarity ensued.

3) Marksdwarf gets over her phobia and catches the scorpion right at the edge of the map. She swings, she hits! --and the crossbow gets stuck in the wound. Oops.

4) One month later, I am informed that "Berlar, Giant Desert Scorpion has become attached to a pair of (pig tail trousers)!" Upon investigation I discover that yes, Berlar is wielding the unfortunate axedwarf's trousers and

5) beating the poor marksdwarf to a pulp with them. Literally. (Missing teeth, damaged organs, broken spine, massive bleeding...) Also, when the trousers get stuck in a wound, Berlar twists them.

6) Three months later, they're still at it. The poor marksdwarf is in even worse condition, but will not die. Or get hungry or thirsty, come to think of it. (I'm periodically taking screenshots of her [z] screen. The wounds section is running over 40 lines now.) I've had to disable the "Recover wounded" labor on all my dwarves due to job-cancellation spam.

7) In the middle of all of this, I noticed a new combat report. Apparently one of my war dogs killed a vulture, making it the best hunter AND fighter in my fort. And to think that I normally just tie them up to spot thieves...

Kill orders are bugged. Issue move orders, either directly at the creature (if you're pretty sure you can take it with your fastest dwarf) or a few squares away, then once the dwarfs arrive, at the creature (if you need the ability to group up).

[Yelloq]

A while back, in 40d, I was digging out sleeping quarters for my entire fortress (one room per dwarf. One facepalm right there, because the rooms ended up being meager anyways.) when I found some 'damp' stone. So I said "WTF, damp? Maybe 1 water level?" Boy was I fucking wrong. It was an aquifier. There went most of my rooms. Next, I decide to stop the huge surge of water from getting to my other rooms. I build half a wall, get job cancellation. Dig downward stair way INTO MY MINES. Water floods down, but continues into my fort. I finally build a full wall, and I am finally safe from the flood.
I count 3 facepalms.

[Old-one-eye]

Isn't that floodgate going to be lever operated anyway?  Just build one and get him out.

It's not one I ever intend to open so why waste the time and resources on building mechanisms and linking them for the sake of a dumb farmer? I did dig him out so I'm not a complete bastard. 

[zergl]

Isn't that floodgate going to be lever operated anyway?  Just build one and get him out.

It's not one I ever intend to open so why waste the time and resources on building mechanisms and linking them for the sake of a dumb farmer? I did dig him out so I'm not a complete bastard. 

Admit it, he just had too many friends and you didn't feel like dealing with a tantrum spiral.

[Old-one-eye]

Isn't that floodgate going to be lever operated anyway?  Just build one and get him out.

It's not one I ever intend to open so why waste the time and resources on building mechanisms and linking them for the sake of a dumb farmer? I did dig him out so I'm not a complete bastard. 

Admit it, he just had too many friends and you didn't feel like dealing with a tantrum spiral.

[RumblingNoise]

So.. I had this brilliant idea about piercing the aquifer during winter but the results were less than satisfactory...

Ambushed by the cursed spring 

[Bronze Dog]

Still newish, so I don't have all that many stories.

1. Miner channeling himself off a cliff. Twice. Same miner.

2. As with many others, "offer" at trading.

3. From reading this thread: I assigned my arsenal dwarf to the military. The bookkeeping involved with that is a civilian job, and a bug can prevent military dwarves from ever returning to civvie life.

[Kidiri]

Assign another arsenal dwarf?

[Bronze Dog]

Hindsight's a pain, isn't it?

[Asellus]

I have a tendency to zone out when playing games, often times playing for several hours only to find out I have no idea what I've done.
After doing that while playing, I noticed I had a lever, which, for reasons beyond my understanding, I decided to pull. I have no idea why I made a lever to destroy a mountain.

[Chronas]

I have a tendency to zone out when playing games, often times playing for several hours only to find out I have no idea what I've done.
After doing that while playing, I noticed I had a lever, which, for reasons beyond my understanding, I decided to pull. I have no idea why I made a lever to destroy a mountain.

Asellus has been posessed!
Asellus has claimed a mountain!
Asellus has begun a mysterious construction!
Asellus has crafted Stonefall, a granite doomsday device!

[docawesome]

I started out with one miner thinking that would be enough and the first message I got was that a raccoon stole my one pick axe, never before have I felt so defeated.

[Obibun]

I started out with one miner thinking that would be enough and the first message I got was that a raccoon stole my one pick axe, never before have I felt so defeated.

Okay, I laughed.