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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2129950 times)

Egregius

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1605 on: May 04, 2010, 08:55:58 am »

This one counts: getting a forgotten beast through your caverns. Well, I was prepared since my first fortress died to one (and not having a functional military): I managed to stump it with a locked door, and while it went to sleep I walled it out of the rest of my fort. Thinking what should I do with this firebreathing serpent..I know! I can flush the brook into the caverns, drowning it! After having read this thread I know what to avoid and ue plenty of floodgates in the right places ;)

Or...I could lure it into a hallway leading to a tower next to my entrance, enclosed by fortifications, shut off by floodgates, using puppies I pit into the shaft connecting the caverns to fortification tower! It will be brilliant!

Or I could forget the first plan involved breaching the caverns again before resealing with a floodgate, while distracted by the second plan and my planned system for universal power-supply in my fort.

"Urist McStupid cancels Collect Webs: Interrupted by Forgotten Beast"
...Huh? CRAP.

Finaly tally (partially because my squads interpret 'Kill Forgotten Beast' as 'Train in barracks'): my best furnace operator and my only legendary weaponsmith :'(
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Every time I see the letter c I think of cats, then genocide, then delicious stew.

Kraftwerk

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1606 on: May 04, 2010, 04:10:09 pm »

What's Kraftwerk got to do with it?

His screename is Kraftwerk, so I think he was talking to himself....

And another fan of the crazy germans? *highfives Kraftwerk (the user)*
I was talking to myself...

Yay crazy germans and their fans! *Highfives Djohaal*
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Djohaal

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1607 on: May 04, 2010, 04:35:18 pm »

What's Kraftwerk got to do with it?

His screename is Kraftwerk, so I think he was talking to himself....

And another fan of the crazy germans? *highfives Kraftwerk (the user)*
I was talking to myself...

Yay crazy germans and their fans! *Highfives Djohaal*

May I suggest an avatar? :D
http://rono22.deviantart.com/art/Kraftwerk-Ralf-Hutter-100328971
You just need to crop it.  ;D
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I really want that one as a "when". I want "grubs", and "virgin woman" to turn into a dragon. and monkey children to suddenly sprout wings. And I want the Dwarven Mutant Academy to only gain their powers upon reaching puberty. I also have a whole host of odd creatures that only make sense if I divide them into children and adults.

Also, tadpoles.

Kraftwerk

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1608 on: May 04, 2010, 04:39:39 pm »

What's Kraftwerk got to do with it?

His screename is Kraftwerk, so I think he was talking to himself....

And another fan of the crazy germans? *highfives Kraftwerk (the user)*
I was talking to myself...

Yay crazy germans and their fans! *Highfives Djohaal*

May I suggest an avatar? :D
http://rono22.deviantart.com/art/Kraftwerk-Ralf-Hutter-100328971
You just need to crop it.  ;D

SWEET! Thanks ;)
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morejolli

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1609 on: May 04, 2010, 06:13:24 pm »

My first fort is halfway through it's first winter with most dwarfs dehydrated from my lack of experience managing farms and brewing. There are some unappetizing murky pools around, even a few sitting at 2/7 from winter rains (the fort is in a hot zone), but no one is drinking anything because I haven't built any wells for a lack of mechanisms. Why isn't the mechanic's workshop solving this?

Almost one year in I remember that even if none of my dwarfs have trained mechanical skills, I can still enable the labour.

/facepalm
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Quote from: Gandalf
There are no safe paths in this part of the world. Remember you are over the Edge of the Wild now, and in for all sorts of fun wherever you go.

Nerserus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1610 on: May 05, 2010, 05:43:17 am »

A giant olm walked up the tunnel to my fortress, he activated one trap and got severely wounded. ( Cuts on organs, heavy bleeding for a bit and nauseous. ), I designated my farm fallow so my grower didn't do a lemming rush of death.

Suddenly. The blacksmith running away from the olm was like.

"Wait a minute, THAT GROWER LEFT ONE SEED NEAR THE STAIRWAY, I MUST RISK MY LIFE TO GET IT!

I forgot to forbid said seed. The blacksmith did a mad dash all the way past the safety of the traps and got killed by the olm.

His burial ground is now a murky pool outside.

EDIT:
On the bright side. The olm got decapitated by the trap the blacksmith ran past. Irony. If he waited he could of got the seed.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2010, 05:46:37 am by Nerserus »
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stack of 10 prepared dragonfly brains - I'm trying to imagine what's more funny: a dwarf popping a tiny dragonfly brain into his mouth for a snack, the butcher who actually prepared this feast, or the brave hunter who ventured out into the wilderness and returned with this bounty.

Neyvn

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1611 on: May 05, 2010, 07:21:40 am »

I thought I paused the game before I went to go do stuff...

Came back to a Migrant wave in Late Autumn and all my Dwarves had been running around dodging a Giant Zombie Toad. Which barely moved at them...

I went to dinner in mid spring.....
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Quote from: Ubiq
Broker: Wasn't there an ambush squad here just a second ago?
Merchant: I don't know what you're talking about. Do you want this goblin ankle bone amulet or not?
My LIVESTREAM. I'm Aussie, so not everything is clean. Least it works...

Flaede

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1612 on: May 05, 2010, 08:00:31 am »

Tried to figure out the hospital setup.  Thought I had it down.
Removed access to water source during ambush season.
Oh! You mean hospitals require water? Who would have guessed!
Sorry You lost your leg, Kivish. And Urist McSmartypants got better in the waiting room, and now I think he's stuck waiting in the Hospital for an extended "observation period".

Also: channels now make ramps. My trench warfare tactics need updating. It wasn't a moat, it was a blind for dwarf-hunting.

"what's that stuff flying out of the... OH GOD IT'S Bomrek's HEAD!"
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Toady typically doesn't do things by half measures.  As evidenced by turning "make hauling work better" into "implement mine carts with physics".
There are many issues with this statement.
[/quote]

Neyvn

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1613 on: May 05, 2010, 08:17:19 am »

Also: channels now make ramps. My trench warfare tactics need updating. It wasn't a moat, it was a blind for dwarf-hunting.
Dig Trench two or more tiles wide. Send a Dwarf Down to remove all Ramps along YOUR side of the Trench, Yeah you have to go another step to make it so if you fall in its game over, but hey its better then them coming out your side...
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Quote from: Ubiq
Broker: Wasn't there an ambush squad here just a second ago?
Merchant: I don't know what you're talking about. Do you want this goblin ankle bone amulet or not?
My LIVESTREAM. I'm Aussie, so not everything is clean. Least it works...

Sarvesh Mossbeard

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Game, Set, and Match.
« Reply #1614 on: May 05, 2010, 06:59:02 pm »

I've started a new fortress on an evil glacier and dug a great ramp tunnel from the surface in the hopes of getting the merchant wagons down in my base deep in the mountain. Built a tower over the entrace, dug a moat, installed doors, the kit. No wild animal would get inside.

Then the said wagon tunnel hit not one, not two, but three caverns layers. Got past them using floors, walls, bridges, dwarven ingenuity. I got an underground forest and water to spare, silk to collect and gems all about. Its doing great. My main dwarf, Sarvesh, already has a dozen kills in his belt. No megabeast, titan, or anything terrible in sight. Its going perfect! Well, beside the cook that jumped into a ravine trying to escape a flying maw.

Then came the flesh balls. They menaged to get between my workshops and the water source. My military tried to fight them off, but could never fully kill it. So the whole fortress was stuck trying to get a drink and getting interrupted by a half-dead flesh ball.
The flesh ball wouldn't move since it was so hurt, the military too tired to fight, and the rest unable to get out of the workshop.

Game. Set. aaand match.
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You forgot a detail: Dorfs get webbed in GCS webs and trigger traps. Right now we have some 12 caged dwarves, including you.

Techhead

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1615 on: May 05, 2010, 09:25:58 pm »

Started a fort, hit "Play Now" (for the Comp. medical skills).
Fisherdwarf promptly forms two grudges, including with the leader.
Accidentally assigned my leader/woodcutter as sheriff.
Fisherdwarf gets upset, tantrums, and kills leader's cat.
Leader assigns beating.
Fisherdwarf promptly hacked to bits.
Leader decides to hold a party in the dining room.

Moral: Don't be an ass to the guy with the ax.
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Engineering Dwarves' unfortunate demises since '08
WHAT?  WE DEMAND OUR FREE THINGS NOW DESPITE THE HARDSHIPS IT MAY CAUSE IN YOUR LIFE
It's like you're all trying to outdo each other in sheer useless pedantry.

Flaede

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1616 on: May 05, 2010, 11:20:11 pm »

Elves... now accept bone items!
All this time scrimping, saving, going to war over fantastical creatures, and they would have accepted bone items???
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Toady typically doesn't do things by half measures.  As evidenced by turning "make hauling work better" into "implement mine carts with physics".
There are many issues with this statement.
[/quote]

Rockphed

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1617 on: May 05, 2010, 11:28:17 pm »

Elves... now accept bone items!
All this time scrimping, saving, going to war over fantastical creatures, and they would have accepted bone items???

Um, they accepted bone in 40d.  I had many forts whose sole export was unicorn bone bolts.  The elves accepted such with pleasure.
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Only vaguely. Made of the same substance and put to the same use, but a bit like comparing a castle and a doublewide trailer.

Flaede

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1618 on: May 06, 2010, 12:32:28 am »

Elves... now accept bone items!
All this time scrimping, saving, going to war over fantastical creatures, and they would have accepted bone items???

Um, they accepted bone in 40d.  I had many forts whose sole export was unicorn bone bolts.  The elves accepted such with pleasure.

wow. the last version I was using had them throw tantrums if there was even BLOOD on the objects, let alone bone ornaments. Unless I was misled by random chance...

if so, then this is a double Face Palm.
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Toady typically doesn't do things by half measures.  As evidenced by turning "make hauling work better" into "implement mine carts with physics".
There are many issues with this statement.
[/quote]

tastypaste

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1619 on: May 06, 2010, 01:11:51 am »

I had spare animals and I read about an idea on the forums about putting animals down a pit to safely explore the caverns for me. Cow #1 sits under the hole and doesn't move. *facepalm*. Cow #2 does the same. *facepalm*. I pit a cat and an oriole. The cat eats the oriole then sits under the hole and doesn't move. *facepalm*. I pit a dog, it starts a fight with a Giant Toad which becomes enraged and kills the dog. *facepalm*. After 18 dwarf months the surviving cat has moved about 10 tiles from its starting point and then moved back again. Percent of cave explored by animals since opening it: 0%

The next step is pitting the soapmakers.
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Denethor cancels stewardship:  Went Insane.
Denethor went berserk!
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