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[Rasta69]

Hey there. Relatively new dwarfer and this happend in my third semi succseful fortress (ie i survived long enough to get dining room kitchens farms etc I'm not aiming very high to start with xD) So I'd finaly built my steel bridge with which I would strike fear into the goblins and set up the levers. I'd set up a rudimentary millitary, a few talented and proficient axe dwarfs (but i dont know how to get them to carry equipment at all times so eh) and a couple of burrows. Anyway que my first goblin ambush! Turn on the alarm and desperatly yell at my dwarfs to pull the lever. Long story short goblins come in and massacre my population and the millitary as they run to pick up their weapons. Turns out I hadn't included the lever inside the burrow's designation

[Bralbaard]

This just happened in Woundcolored, my current Fortress (screenshot explains it all)






As the elves would say: "Well that was short-lived.."

[Vercingetorix]

Well, the coffin-making industry's going to have a GREAT quarter...

[Karnewarrior]

Well, the coffin-making industry's going to have a GREAT quarter...

It's DF, that's implied.

[Vercingetorix]

It's DF, that's implied.

I don't know, a lot of my dwarfs die in ways that make their bodies quite difficult to retrieve...

Except the one time where there was a forest fire and a burning corpse ultimately set half the fort on fire and destroyed the booze stockpile.  No problem burying what was left when that one worked itself out.

[Lord Shonus]

Been a bit of a bloody autumn and winter at Honestcraft. A forgotten beast rampaged through my cavern farm, destroying it and killing five dwarves before my militia captain showed up and slew it with a single blow. Barely had the dead buried and the beast butchered when the dwarven caravan arrived. I start hauling stuff to the depot and then

An Ambush! Curse Them!

A speargoblin and four archers start pouring bolts into my dwarves. Luckily the outpost liason was there to take most of the damage. I only lost three dwarves before the militia commander slaughters the disarmed archers.

Why did it take the guy so long to show up the first time? He was busy trying to get out of the locked barracks the first time.

[Shurhaian]

I'm sure someone's done this sort of thing previously in the thread, but...

Recently set out on a fairly nice embark site. Plenty of resources, flux, sedimentary layer, etc. Part of it had an aquifer, but at least one biome on the map did not, so I had a way past it. No problem.

I dig toward the south side of the map, and I suddenly encounter damp stone. I look around, don't see anything obvious; look on the level above, but there's no sign of a lake or such there that'd be making it damp.

I think "Huh, that's odd," and re-designate for digging.

Results are predictably wet.

[psychologicalshock]

Well ok, I made a new fort after having to abonden one I forget why though. So I made the fort, got the trade depot up first thing and got everything ready for trade so I could get a large amount of food for my dwarves so I didnt need to worry about hunger so I didn't even bother with the farm plots just relying on gathering until the merchants came and i was like ok lets trade the rock crafts with them and then when i opened up the move items to depot menu i was like "Why are there no rock crafts, I had them ordered to make them!"  I looked around the map and found i forgot the most important thing.... I had nothing to trade for food. So that fortress just kinda was an embarassing fail.   

Lol you'll probably feel dumb when I tell you this:
I was in a similar situation because I didn't have rock to begin with (no rock above the aquifer) and so when the caravan came I simply seized all the food and paid off the debt next year with offerings.

[Reese]

So...

I have a new fort on a stream that cuts through a hill, and my entrance is in the face of the hill that the stream cut.

I figure, I should channel away some of the stream to act as a natural defense, that's a smart idea!

I channel away most of the stream, being careful to designate 1 square wide strips so my miners don't get their feet wet, and everything is fine.  I leave one strip unchanneled to allow outside access until I get the bridge built.

I also have a quantum stone dump right at the entrance in a tile that's next to the stream.  I just dug out the main dining hall, and I mass designate the limestone in it to be dumped.  I noticed the dwarfs doing something odd... HEY! stop throwing my limestone in to the stream!  face palm.  I forgot that dwarfs will throw any dumped item down a z-level if there's a place to do so next to the garbage zone where they can.  No big deal!  I have a ton more lime stone if I need it.

So, I get the bridge finished, and I designate that last strip of land, which is next to the bridge, to channel.  One of my starting miners, and my expedition leader responds to the call, and...

Did you know, the stream surface can cave in if it's unsupported, despite the fact that channeling it away produces stone as though you had dug out solid rock?  Did you know that a bridge cannot support said stream surface?  Did you know, a dwarf mining out a 4 tile strip from east to west will mine the west most square, then stand on the third square from the right while mining out the remaining two squares?  Guess who decided to go for a swim while unconscious?  And, of course, when he died, he screwed up all my noble positions because he was the expedition leader.

[Lord Dakoth]

Ooh, good one with the stream.

For future reference, bridges don't really support anything. Not even dwarves, the inebriated morons are always tottering over the edge.

[Canalan]

Some retarded dorf got past my epic safeguards on my fail-safe lever and pulled it. The map collapsed.
See, my fail-safe levers utilize an extremely work intensive method of self destruct. Everything (really, everything) but the control room collapses when it is pulled. After about an hour of lag, it cleared. Urist McRetard was one of five survivors out of an original 230.

[ElthMysterius]

the bottom of the waterfall is littered with their exploded corpes.
their last thought was "Has been confronted by a lovely waterfall lately"

I am so sigging this

[Bishop36]

This just happened in my favorite fort in its fourth year. It was a pretty vertical fort, the kind I have been fond of making lately. I had decided to take the easy way out when digging out a square for a farm parth, I just channeled around it. I forgot all about the cave-in function and the epic dinning room full of partying dwarves, two levels of bedrooms, and livestock hallway containing all my cows, a milker and a farmers workshop right bellow the cave-in.

37 dwarves, 12 cows, and a cat died in a few seconds. Luckily all the ones that were friends died together and the rest didn't care much because they were in my "other" fort and didn't know any of them. (Exploration burrow)

I did a double face palm, as this is not the first time I have done this.

[Trowzers]

This isn't really my facepalm - it's more a bug facepalm... but it's still Fun.

I have a fairly successful fortress going right next to an ocean where there is only a tiny amount of aquifer, and I've found enough iron ore and flux to make steel weapons and armor.  I have two squads of military that can tear apart ambushes with no worries (well, one guy lost a finger).  No seiges yet. Fortress population is nearing 100.  No elves exist on the map to worry about so I've been cutting down trees merrily for charcoal as I haven't dug down to the magma yet.

I'd just been made a barony and was feeling up to a challenge, so I've been poking further into the caverns, past the place I'd walled off for my farms, hoping to try GCS trapping, or maybe a run-in with the local cave fish civilization, or perhaps even a forgotten beast or two.  I leave the game running while I make a cup of tea, and when I get back the screen has frozen and there's a horribly mishapen red beast at the edge of the map (I'm using the Mayday tileset).  "Yay! A forgotten beast or megabeast!" I think gleefully.  But there's no big popup announcing the visitor.  So I use V to check it out:
"Sapi Imeysopeya Thene Equuiy:
A huge skink twisted into humanoid form with external ribs.  It squirms and fidgets.  It's mauve scales are round and overlapping.  Beware it's deadly dust!

She is fat."

How very unflattering, I think.  But still, I shall smite her!
Except...
She's my human diplomat!!!  She has the building destroyer tag and she seems to have taken offense at her description as she's now running around my fortress sucking up all my doors and workshops, showing no signs of actually wanting to meet with my Baron.  And my dwarves just go about my business because she's a friendly!



Any suggestions on how to smash a diplomat with a building destroyer tag? Especially when it's already in your fortress :/

Edit: it seems to have stalled in the middle of my fortress. but not before destroying the artifact quern (my ONLY artifact furniture) in front of my dining room >:/

[darkflagrance]

Any suggestions on how to smash a diplomat with a building destroyer tag? Especially when it's already in your fortress :/

Edit: it seems to have stalled in the middle of my fortress. but not before destroying the artifact quern (my ONLY artifact furniture) in front of my dining room >:/

Since it was lured inside, you could always wall it it in, then prepare a cave-in trap on top of it or alternatively leave it there to rot a la Cask of Amontillado.