Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[CobaltKobold]

Finally of my own:

Realizing just how bad it was to put Farming and Masonry on the same dwarf at embark. They're both pretty full-time jobs.

[random51]

I attempted to use a tamed dragon for Trade Depot defense. Gives a whole new meaning to "friendly fire".

Everything in and around the depot is burning and the dwarves decide it is time to take all of those burning things and put them into stockpiles inside the fortress.

[darthbob88]

Might not be the right thread, but:
My duke has mandated the construction of pike leather items, which I can't do between the lack of pikes and leather thereof. Fortunately, the human caravan arrived recently, loaded to the gunwales with several thousand dwarfbucks of stuff I want, and a few million more of things I don't want, including 2 hunks of pike leather, exactly enough to satisfy the duke. I then hurry over to the leather works and order the leathercrafter to sew several leather images using those pike leather, on the assumption that decorations are items and will satisfy the mandate. Apparently, they aren't, and I just wasted those leathers for nothing. Dammitall. At least I got rid of a few trade goods I had no other use for.

[NewoTigra]

Finding out you can mass-select the stone for constructions was more head-desk than face palm for me, but I remember one incident which was rather disastrous.

Finding out just what the [CAN_PICK_LOCKS] tag does. I hadn't noticed it before.

Spoiler: spoilered for size* (click to show/hide)

I set up my fort with two entrances, the main one, which could easily be locked and so forced invaders to take the secondary entrance, which was through a long trap-filled maze.
As the majority of these traps used serrated blades and other severing weapons, I decided I needed a quick way to clear out all the gunk left behind. So, I installed a quick 'flood the maze' system'.
First Orc siege comes, entrance switch goes perfectly, all dwarves are safely inside, Orcs start to make their way through the maze of dismemberment. The path from the maze to the fortress proper was blocked by a single door, which was locked manually once all the Orcs were inside, and then the maze entrance was sealed, via lever, so as no Orcs could escape.
At this point I noticed that while most of the Orcs were being reduced to limbs and bloodstains, the Hammer Lord leader was strolling through the traps unharmed.
"He may be impervious to saw blades, but he still needs to breathe!", was the general idea as I activated the cleaning system, diverting a local river into the maze.
Amazingly, the Hammer Lord managed to make it to the locked door while underwater. He then, to my displeasure, proceeded to knock it off it's hinges, and stroll on through.
Well shit. The Orcs were inside the fort. Hopefully, I thought, the military can deal with them. (As it turned out, they needed a lot more training.)

Of course, all the while this was happening the river was still emptying several metric tonnes of water into the maze. The maze which was no longer waterproofed, and was draining out into my fort.
The dwarves were ordered to turn off the pumps and activate the maze drainage, which they (uncharacteristically) ran to do so, then ran back again once they spotted the drenched Orcs.
The blacksmith, being somewhat further away from the entrance at this time, managed to get to his quarters before the Orcs reached him, and built a small wall to block the doorway.
The rest of the fort was now filling up with water, but the Orcs were still set about murdering the blacksmith, despite the fact they couldn't reach him.
I decided, at this point, that if the fort was going to die, it would do so in the dwarven manner. And so, the blacksmith-turned-miner tunneled his way past and around the Orcs, breaching his secret tunnel just beside the Doomsday Lever, which was then, after a quick prayer to Armok, pulled before the Orcs could burst into the room.
The entire fort, Orcs, water and all, plummeted down 7 z-levels, and much of the infrastructure, all held up by Pillars linked to the Doomsday lever, simultaneously collapsed, killing all within.
Just for the added overkill, the Magma reservoir above the lever control room voided it's contents, bathing the invaders and the blacksmith in the searing liquid.

It made the painstakingly long setup worthwhile.

a Facepalm incident, yes, but quite a Fun one.

_{*tl;dr version - Orcs can break through locked doors, things went awry, final dwarf pulls lever - rocks fall, everybody dies.}

[CrossBolt]

Spawning right next to a giant eagle...that was angry...and had a preference to killing dwarves...

and having a magma pool near my beer supply, that fortress fell quickly

[Julien Brightside]

_{*tl;dr version - Orcs can break through locked doors, things went awry, final dwarf pulls lever - rocks fall, everybody dies.}

That was
AWESOME!

Thats how a fortress should end.

[Fist_Of_Armok]

EDIT: Well, for one I put an image that was supposed to be in the Picture Fight thread in here...

But recently, I had been trying to reduce the number of ROCKSEVERYWHERE resulting from digging a new crafting complex and dining room by turning them into blocks-also, incidentally, ensuring I don't get any more FUCKING CRAFTSDWARVES.

KUBUK KULETUSAN IS LEGENDARY-PLUS! EVERY TIME HE SETS CHISEL TO BONE A MASTERPIECE RESULTS! WE DO NOT NEED MORE BONE CARVERS!

In any case.

I volunteer at the local co-op, which is kind of like a farmers market except you don't get to choose your produce-you get a box of the stuff every month for fifteen bucks, all of which is organic.

Incidentally, the building is FUCKING COLD, and as my laptop is four years old and made of lag, I bring it with me when I volunteer. It keeps the processor cool while I do my work, and provides music to boot.

While I was busy packing cabbages, goblins attacked! Since I could hardly put things down and stop, a couple of my new masons got killed.

*sigh*

At least my FPS will improve. Maybe. If I'm lucky.

I shudder to think what will happen when I finish digging my giant spherical dining room and start pouring a waterfall over the top. I think my computer will scream in agony.

[Safe-Keeper]

I'm doing a simple, routine-filled construction project, making a "balcony" of sorts for crossbowdwarves to use to fire down into a hallway below. One of the workers causes a cave-in, and falls with the offending fortification through several floors, ultimately ending up in the magma pipe.

I have never been more utterly dumbstruck than when I received the message "Urist McMiner has died in the heat!".

[Urist Imiknorris]

I modded my Rhesus Macaques to... Well, see for yourself.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[CREATURE:MACAQUE_RHESUS]
   [NAME:rhesus macaque:rhesus macaques:rhesus macaque]
   [TILE:'m'][COLOR:7:0:0]
   [LARGE_ROAMING][FREQUENCY:100]
   [POPULATION_NUMBER:500:500]
   [CLUSTER_NUMBER:100:100]LOOSE_CLUSTERS
   CURIOUSBEAST_EATER
   [CURIOUSBEAST_ITEM][DRAGONFIREBREATH][FIREIMMUNE_SUPER]
   [PETVALUE:50][liKES_FIGHTING]
   [GRASSTRAMPLE:0][NATURAL][PET]
   [PREFSTRING:mischief]
   [BODY:QUADRUPED:TAIL:2EYES:2EARS:NOSE:2LUNGS:HEART:GUTS:ORGANS:THROAT:NECK:SPINE:BRAIN:MOUTH]
   [SIZE:3]
   MAXAGE:30:40
   [ATTACK:MAIN:BYTYPE:MOUTH:bite:bites:1:3:GORE][ATTACKFLAG_CANLATCH]
   [CHILD:3]
   [FAT:1]
   [DIURNAL]
   [BIOME:ANY_LAND]
   [STANDARD_FLESH]
   HOMEOTHERM:40000[SEVERONBREAKS]
   [HOMEOTHERM:10069]
   [LAYERING:100]
   [SWIMS_INNATE][SWIM_SPEED:2500]
   [MUNDANE]
   [LEATHER_HEATDAM_POINT:130000]
   [LEATHER_IGNITE_POINT:135000]
   [BONE_HEATDAM_POINT:140000]

I inserted the thermonuclear trigger and heatdam points after getting destroyed by them in my first autumn.

I embarked in a truly beautiful site, with a MAGMA PIPE IN CHALK, the source end of an underriver, and HFS.

My mechanic embarked ON FIRE. I had unwittingly caused an overflow problem by making sure that the leather WOULDN't catch fire. My mechanic was walking around as a cloud of smoke (he was wearing a pair of !!Rhesus Macaque Leather Shoes!!), encouraging me to start an aboveground fort. I was hoping he'd just die, but he wasn't even getting hurt.

Setting LEATHER_HEATDAM_POINT to 0 stopped it.

[Lord Shonus]

In SGIX, in a save that accidentally got skipped, I forgot that you can't dig under an aquifer and flooded the tombs, boneshops, and arena.

[tastypaste]

After learning about single pillars holding up massive objects and the possibility of collapsing them via lever I decide I want to do this in my own fortress. Only instead of practicing on a small scale test I decide to go for maximum damage.

So I begin a mega digging project. I designated a massive channel around the entire edge of the map (one square in) on every single z-level. My plan is to attach the entire map to a single pillar so that when I'm done with my fortress I can collapse it all at once thus killing all my dwarfs and a few unsuspecting groundhogs. Knowing I need a walkway for my miners to channel from I designate an inner perimeter of mining so they can stand there and channel out the rest. After ages of designating the entire bottom level for mining and all the z-levels for channels, I figure my miners will be busy for a few years so I go off to attend to other fortress business.

Soon I get a message that a miner has canceled digging and is seeking vermin for food. Puzzled I zoom to the miner only to find that Urist McLegendaryMiner and his three friends have dug themselves down towards the middle of the underground z-levels with no escape route. They have my only four picks. I designate a mining path back to the central staircase and start praying they can make it there before they die with my picks.

I immediately request pick axes at highest priority from the liaisons. When they arrive I mount an emergency rescue operation with three new miners. Only I forgot to undesignate the previous digging project so Urist McLegendaryMiner and his now two surviving buddies have been digging themselves further away from the rescue crew. I quickly undesignate all the old mining but it's too late and two more miners die of thirst. The last Urist McLegendaryMiner is slowly working his way towards the rescue crew and after ages they finally meet.

A helpful idler brings him some food. So not all is lost. I still have one legendary miner, or so I though. He dies moments later of thirst. Now I have 7 picks and 3 dabbling miners. The mega digging project commences with more care but to no avail as the fortress was overtaken by my first ever encounter with HFS a season later.

I plan to revisit this doomsday device idea at some point in the future with better preparations and a more organized approach.

[Liokaizer]

My dwarves have been working the last several months on a causeway to connect the two mountains on my map. Their primary supply was stones left from the mining of nearby hallways. When the causeway started reaching about 75% completion, their supply started dwindling and they start travelling farther to get their stone. Thus, I assign a stone stockpile near the causeway. It is filled up quickly. I put down the building orders for the final segment. Instead of grabbing the stones from the stockpile and going across the causeway to build toward the other mountain, they start grabbing the stones, walking all the way outside and around to the other mountain to build it there, completely defeating the purpose of the stockpile.

[darthbob88]

In the interest of getting more material and trading goods, I modded wagons, mules, and donkeys to have a metric fuckton of trading capacity, added two or three zeroes. Now I'll get lots of interesting animals from the elves, lots of gems and metal from the dwarves, and lots of, well.. from the humans. Somewhat excessive, but not unreasonable. The elven caravan went nicely, and I got a grizzly bear, black bear, and fox out of the deal. When the humans came, they brought many wagons, and unloading them all took ages. It took so long, in fact, that by the time they were unloaded, they had to leave. In desperation, I had the depot deconstructed, seizing everything they had. All zillion hunks of meat, fish, cheese, and plants, which very quickly started to rot, in the underground depot. All zillion crafts and clothing, which kept dwarfs busy hauling everything everywhere. Between that and mistakes made in the magma casting outfit, I wound up reverting to a previous save.

[Exiledhero99]

my first magma forge comes to mind. my legenary miner digs the whole chamber with the final step being to flood it. Luckily, he survives and climbs out of the pipe and stands in the forge for a short while...he then decides that he would like to climb back in the hole for no reason. I attribute this to my lack of forbidding pathing so *facepalm* 

[CobaltKobold]

You can't actually forbid dwarves from going somewhere. (Except outside, sort of.)