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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2209554 times)

mangame5

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9900 on: October 09, 2016, 08:24:18 am »

Not checking that a backup containing a DF-related project is actually functional!
Uff, well that's a cartload of hours down the drain.
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ReynTheLord

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9901 on: October 10, 2016, 07:22:54 pm »

So i'm a noob at Fortress mode, so this will be a fun story.

Can't do butchering, because all the things be rotting

Facepalm counter:1
Oh no, I can't have good things because Miasma when there's nothing that can rot underground.
Facepalm counter:2
Kobolds stealing my shit without military notice
Facepalm counter:3
Oh, First real raid i have is a werelizard. HOW FUCKING FUN!
Facepalm counter:4
Don't have supplies for medical stuff
Facepalm counter :6
Oh, fuck me, everyones going werecreature, and the majority of my population died.
Facepalm counter:7
Abandon ship, Abandon fortress!
Facepalm counter:8
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I am currently trying to comprehend what sick, mad, dwarven mind came up with the fortress name "Lancefondled", because it wasn't me.

mr_seeker

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9902 on: October 12, 2016, 11:07:30 am »

First month on the job for the newly appointed Count Urist McDwarf (and my first Count ever, hurray!):

Count Urist McDwarf enforces a mandate: Make an axe.
* mr_seeker being pissed off at count for this mandate, since I don't have any metal.
Count Urist McDwarf suddenly ends the mandate.
* mr_seeker wonders why the sudden ending of the mandate, since I still don't have any metal.
* mr_seeker finds Urist McDwarf underneath a giant cave toad, crushed to death.
*me facepalms for its stupidity, and starts wondering when/if the queen will appoint a new count*
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Dirst

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9903 on: October 12, 2016, 11:18:42 am »

First month on the job for the newly appointed Count Urist McDwarf (and my first Count ever, hurray!):

Count Urist McDwarf enforces a mandate: Make an axe.
* mr_seeker being pissed off at count for this mandate, since I don't have any metal.
Count Urist McDwarf suddenly ends the mandate.
* mr_seeker wonders why the sudden ending of the mandate, since I still don't have any metal.
* mr_seeker finds Urist McDwarf underneath a giant cave toad, crushed to death.
*me facepalms for its stupidity, and starts wondering when/if the queen will appoint a new count*
This wasn't a facepalm, it was a historic occasion.  A noble realized that his mandate was impossible, but being too stubborn to recind it, did the next best thing by arranging his own Unfortunate Accident!
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gunpowdertea

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9904 on: October 13, 2016, 07:58:16 am »

First month on the job for the newly appointed Count Urist McDwarf (and my first Count ever, hurray!):

Count Urist McDwarf enforces a mandate: Make an axe.
* mr_seeker being pissed off at count for this mandate, since I don't have any metal.
Count Urist McDwarf suddenly ends the mandate.
* mr_seeker wonders why the sudden ending of the mandate, since I still don't have any metal.
* mr_seeker finds Urist McDwarf underneath a giant cave toad, crushed to death.
*me facepalms for its stupidity, and starts wondering when/if the queen will appoint a new count*
This wasn't a facepalm, it was a historic occasion.  A noble realized that his mandate was impossible, but being too stubborn to recind it, did the next best thing by arranging his own Unfortunate Accident!

Maybe the Mayor / Captain of the Guard arranged for the accident. I approve...
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ReynTheLord

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9905 on: October 18, 2016, 01:35:10 pm »

First month on the job for the newly appointed Count Urist McDwarf (and my first Count ever, hurray!):

Count Urist McDwarf enforces a mandate: Make an axe.
* mr_seeker being pissed off at count for this mandate, since I don't have any metal.
Count Urist McDwarf suddenly ends the mandate.
* mr_seeker wonders why the sudden ending of the mandate, since I still don't have any metal.
* mr_seeker finds Urist McDwarf underneath a giant cave toad, crushed to death.
*me facepalms for its stupidity, and starts wondering when/if the queen will appoint a new count*
This wasn't a facepalm, it was a historic occasion.  A noble realized that his mandate was impossible, but being too stubborn to recind it, did the next best thing by arranging his own Unfortunate Accident!

Maybe the Mayor / Captain of the Guard arranged for the accident. I approve...

THAT'LL TEACH EM, EH?
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I am currently trying to comprehend what sick, mad, dwarven mind came up with the fortress name "Lancefondled", because it wasn't me.

Auldben

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9906 on: October 22, 2016, 04:38:16 pm »

I just had 8 dwarves die of thirst after beating a Blind Cave Ogre mercilessly for months. It just refuses to die.
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ReynTheLord

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9907 on: October 23, 2016, 12:53:04 pm »

I just had 8 dwarves die of thirst after beating a Blind Cave Ogre mercilessly for months. It just refuses to die.

"Dwarf fortress. Where the monsters won't die even though you slashed their neck with a silver two handed sword like, 10 or more times, when they're on the ground, Getting max damage hits.
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I am currently trying to comprehend what sick, mad, dwarven mind came up with the fortress name "Lancefondled", because it wasn't me.

ringringlingling

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9908 on: October 26, 2016, 01:44:39 am »

Took me forever to realize i could farm on soil.  I kept trying to plant underground seeds on the surface and irrigate rock with water.  Also, when I realized I could be making metal goblets, (especially gold goblets) i kicked myself for making hundreds of rock mugs for trading to the trade caravan.

(Of course, that was before dwarves actually used cups)
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FantasticDorf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9909 on: October 26, 2016, 05:12:39 am »

I just had 8 dwarves die of thirst after beating a Blind Cave Ogre mercilessly for months. It just refuses to die.

"Dwarf fortress. Where the monsters won't die even though you slashed their neck with a silver two handed sword like, 10 or more times, when they're on the ground, Getting max damage hits.

The trick is to hit them in the face using facial features like the nose with a blunt object and pray that it lodges.

A personal facepalm for me was overconfidence, zombies with low-midtier tools are hard to take down because their heads are essentially made out of rubber. So i was whacking away with my goblin adventurer clad in iron with a copper warhammer breaking bones and ligaments but not actually doing anything to cave in skulls and kill the beasts.
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Fleeting Frames

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9910 on: October 26, 2016, 01:59:08 pm »

How does having it lodge into wound help?

ReynTheLord

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9911 on: October 29, 2016, 09:29:44 pm »

So I decide to order my dwarves to dig out a room, and at the same time, I increase the size of the damn stone stockpile significantly.
Guess what takes priority?
The fucking hauling.



How I felt about that
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I am currently trying to comprehend what sick, mad, dwarven mind came up with the fortress name "Lancefondled", because it wasn't me.

steel jackal

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9912 on: October 29, 2016, 09:32:20 pm »

So I decide to order my dwarves to dig out a room, and at the same time, I increase the size of the damn stone stockpile significantly.
Guess what takes priority?
The fucking hauling.



How I felt about that

try disabling hauling on your miners.
mine only ever have mining and stone detailing
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FantasticDorf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9913 on: October 31, 2016, 08:56:08 am »

Alternatively you could just use the work orders screen to forbid all stone (if that isn't heresy) if you dont mind not doing any jobs until its done.

> Digs complicated aquifer tundra penetrator, basically using clay and frustration, i was forming the inner circle where the stairs were into ice in a 5x5, periodically per layer i had to clear the stairs so i repaired them using a access channel on the left side, if you clear the corners up into ice with just a moment of exposure the aquifer water will freeze. Works like a charm.

   +++  
  +CCC+
+CCCCCCC+
+CCSCSCC+
+CCCCCCC+
  +CCC+
   +++


> Like a charm until i reached dry stone via some fumbling (because ice makes sometimes unusuable ramps, i had to get stairs down there and establish a way from my main stairwell all the way down) and i had to spend time making access to the stairs out of raw clay. I then made the arrogant mistake to dig the aquifer rock victoriously thinking id breached it, only to lo and behold to have my miners swept and frozen.

> A previous planning error with the prototype also meant that being outside in a all ice enclosed (walls and floors made of ice, no ceiling) room no bigger than 5x5 means that your workers will actually die of freezing (larger sizes untested). Which is a interesting return if you wanted to make a ice-box yeti pit. on a glacier because hardcore, though my goblin workers i was using were only wearing loincloths which were materially broken by the conditions.
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Moonstone_Flower

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9914 on: November 16, 2016, 02:06:40 am »

Embarked in an Age of Death world, as I figured it would be a nice diversion.  Immediately, I see that the dwarfs have parked the wagon in a bloody tree.  *Facepalm*  Despite this, I watch five of them scramble over and stand around it.  OK, fine, they can reach it.

Later...

In the midst of cutting out rooms for the first few below-ground workshops, I notice the "thirsty" arrow on the miner.

"Hmm, why are they not getting a drink?  Guess they're not thirsty enou- wait, why are they running back and forth?  This level's designations have priority..."

Set Follow on the miner, watch it go halfway out of the fort with "No Job", go back in, dig a few squares, repeat.  *Facepalm 2x*

On their way halfway out, they pass by the temporary "Almost Everything" stockpile.

...

Which was empty.

...

Half an hour after designating it.

...

They can't reach the fugging wagon.  *Facepalm 3x*


WHAT IN THE NAME OF ARMOK'S FLAMING PHALLUS

I look back at the wagon, and those initial five that went to it are still there with their beards up their collective arses.  They must have decided to climb the tree for some reason.  *Facepalm 4x Combo*

I ended up making a staircase out of coke from the top down just to gain access to the wagon and five dendrophiles.

Lesson:  Always embark with a few building materials in case of levitating wagons!
« Last Edit: November 16, 2016, 02:09:34 am by Moonstone_Flower »
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