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[JumpingJack]

In my current fort (which I need to fire back up), I have a corpse in a tree that I have been meaning to memorialize for a while now.  It seems, however, that I cannot cut the dang thing down.  I guess I need to look up that particular bug.

Yeah. It might have something to do with creatures approaching the woodcutters- that fort was situated in a savage forest, where badger men were fairly uncommon.
But as a precaution: deforest the entire embark site!

Or, you know, settle an area without trees, like a desert.

While you're at it, you could always build a glorious pyramid to house any annoying dearly departed nobility.

[Z49000]

In my current fort (which I need to fire back up), I have a corpse in a tree that I have been meaning to memorialize for a while now.  It seems, however, that I cannot cut the dang thing down.  I guess I need to look up that particular bug.

Yeah. It might have something to do with creatures approaching the woodcutters- that fort was situated in a savage forest, where badger men were fairly uncommon.
But as a precaution: deforest the entire embark site!

Or, you know, settle an area without trees, like a desert.

While you're at it, you could always build a glorious pyramid to house any annoying dearly departed nobility.

That works too.

[Spehss _]

Been trying to set up a minecart pressure plate system to build an execution pit with repeating spikes linked to the plates. Never messed with presure plates much, never messed with minecarts on tracks or moving minecarts with rollers or impulse ramps. Basically no experience building complex minecart based machinery.

Despite linking the plates, setting the appropriate weights and to trigger on tracks, and getting the minecart to move through the track correctly and run over the plates, the spikes and plates didn't respond. The plates didn't seem to go off.

Turns out that building pressure plates on a floor and setting their trigger to Tracks won't work. They need to be built on tracks, not just floors. I'll need to deconstruct the pressure plates and build tracks first, then rebuild and relink the plates.

[Ptolom]

I brought native copper, wood and an anvil, planning to smelt the copper and forge my own picks. Somehow I accidentally brought native copper blocks instead of nuggets which you can't smelt. Now we have to live in a leaky hut with a charcoal roof and wait for Autumn.

[BlueBuilding]

When I was younger to the game, I didn't know how to remove slopes so, three years later prior to embark, I get a siege.

 "Then I'm like, Well I have walls and traps set, and I have a (Worst)Great Military!"

 Ushat Febnakas has been found dead.
 
 "How did they get in?"

 I look to see ten goblins running around killing livestock in my fort, I lose sixty people out of one-hundred.

[overseer05-15]

This isn't ingame, but when I found out that some avatars weren't broken links bit images of broken links.

[Aokoen]

I discovered that LNP is using an elder version of Dwarf fortress and so i was playing rolling between 2 saves, without knowing why i change my save...

[Cynicalsob]

Hi! I`ve been playing df occasionally for couple of years and recently after reading the Glacedcoast LP i just had to get my own fort shenanigans up and running again.
Been lurking the forums too since i first found this magnificent game so a long time lurker first time poster, and what a better way to introduce myself to the df community than
the facepalm thread.

And my facepalm submission(allthough i`ve had my fair share of those over the years, this is the most recent).
Deciding to do a little house renovation to my "impenetrable fortress" by deconstructing some wall sections to be replaced with fortifications
for my(at the moment nonexistent)marksdwarfs to shoot at the invaders, doing so collapsing something on one of the drawbridges right at the moment i get sieged.
So with open (broken) gates, the city of Mamgoziton welcomes a group of about 300 goblins war trolls and beakdogs http://imgur.com/a/Nqc6l

[xandalis]

I just had one in my current fortress, Alathlisid (Boltclash)... My civ caravan stopped showing up after a few years, and I had just been chalking it up to a bug. That is, until I was checking the relationships of a few of my dwarves while looking for candidates for arranged marriage. I noticed that one of them had a few consorts listed as cousins. Consorts, who were slain by my guards, when I ordered them to kill every non-fortress person in the public tavern (it was in retaliation for an earlier beating of the dwarf who I made captain of the guard, a year earlier, by a bunch of humans and elves. He was hospitalized with severe injuries, but survived). I thought there were only non-dwarves present when the order was given... But the strange thing is, no loyalty cascade happened. I guess Boltclash declared independence while I wasn't looking.

[Fleeting Frames]

Carefully installed several pressure plates set to 0 to 2 water and link them all. Didn't prototype because it isn't minecarts or worldgen.

Find that the pressure plates never turn on, even after being submerged and unsubmerged; Should have made those 1 to 2/7.

Ow.

[StarWars1981]

Saw Giant Gray Langurs enter fort (giant monkeys capable of killing unarmed/armored dwarves). Got distracted. Forgot to send out militia.
Result: Two dead dwarves and ANOTHER CRIPPLED METALWORKER.
Blast it.

[NeoSilverThorn]

Had an alligator maim my only planter the other day when said planter was getting a drink from the irrigation channel.  That was kinda fun.  I was facepalming because it would be Urist McPlantstuff, sole planter and farmer of the fort, wouldn't it?

Didn't cripple the fort, but it did make booze a bit thin on the ground until the migrants got in with a couple of farmers.

[Derro]

I brought native copper, wood and an anvil, planning to smelt the copper and forge my own picks. Somehow I accidentally brought native copper blocks instead of nuggets which you can't smelt. Now we have to live in a leaky hut with a charcoal roof and wait for Autumn.

Can't you use 'melt a metal object' to turn the blocks into bars?

[TheFlame52]

I brought native copper, wood and an anvil, planning to smelt the copper and forge my own picks. Somehow I accidentally brought native copper blocks instead of nuggets which you can't smelt. Now we have to live in a leaky hut with a charcoal roof and wait for Autumn.

Can't you use 'melt a metal object' to turn the blocks into bars?

If he had brought copper blocks, sure, but he brought native copper blocks.

[Pearofclubs]

I had set up a drowning chamber swimming pool for my militia, so nice of me, right?  This way they can get exercise and learn to swim in a safe-ish environment.

My militia captain, a legendary swordsdwarf, took lunch while I was setting it up and was on his way back when the lever was thrown.

Guess who needed a memorial slab because a full set of steel armor doesn't actually help against a closing drawbridge?