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[Sutremaine]

It just took me twenty attempts and a whole bunch of forum searching to re-figure out how to get assorted creature skins to tan into one kind of leather.

So out of practice at everything to do with this game.

[Pearofclubs]

One fort I had a while back, I dug out a large room in the second stone layer on either side of the main staircase. One was to be a dining hall, the other was to be a statue garden.

I designated some stairs to be put on the side of the dining hall, to connect it to my farm/kitchen so the food stockpile is easier to access from the dining hall.

Then I got job cancellations, because the miners had hit an aquifer and the dining room was rapidly flooding. I built a wall and contained it.
The same thing happened on the other side, because I accidentally had the dorf digging up, except the idiots were on break and as such no one built the containing wall. Couple dorfs drowned and I had to dig a completely new fort, which had a suspiciously fortress-shaped cistern.

But hey, I learned to never let a dorf dig up.

[Thisfox]

Embarked on an aquifer. Went to get the rocks unloaded from the cart. No rocks.
....Forgot to prepare carefully. Whups.

.... I designate ALL of my stairs to be channeled. Next thing I know my miners are splattering on the floor of the dining hall as one after another they plummet to their deaths.

It's raining dorfs! Hallelujah!

[Detros]

After moving dwarf to quarantine cell via build doors - build lever - Profile - assign lever to dwarf - ask dwarf to pull it - wait for him to get through doors - lock doors behind him I realized moving him there via new squad - add dwarf to squad - station squad would be much easier.

[StagnantSoul]

Hey, why are people being found dead? Why is stuff on fire? Why is there an ogre in the Colosseum dining room? Why are random bridges up and down? Why are levers being pu- GOD DAM GREMLIN! HE JUST RELEASED EVERY MONSTER IN THE COLOSSEUM HOLDING BAY!

[NESgamer190]

Kinda had a near-idiot moment what with my ocean desalination for dwarven drinking project with one of my screw pumps being suspended from development.  Got that sorted in time, fortunately.  I then realized my other water reservoir (for the prisoners, doubling as "Oh crap, I'm outta hospital water somehow!" water) would not get water due to not channeling to let the screw pump collect the water.

I know this is a thread for face palms, but that was one moment I had considered a candidate for face palming.

[ImagoDeo]

My most recent facepalm moment came when I was trapping the fourth or fifth forgotten beast from the third cavern layer at Picksling. I left a hatch open and only barely caught the error in time to keep the beasty from breaking the vulnerable hatch. It couldn't have rampaged through the fort; I had half a dozen other containment options after that hatch, but rebuilding it would have been nearly impossible. I would have had to shuffle the beast to an entirely different cell in the block just to open the one cell for maintenance.

Not much of a facepalm moment, honestly. I do tend to play things pretty close to the vest.

[Skribbblie]

I once had the misfortune, and lack of foresight, to try and channel a small, straight-down pipeline from a river into a cistern.

Without a floodgate.

Several Z-levels.

You can probably tell where this is going, if you've ever plumbed your fortress to death.

I tried to make a well, in the middle of an item storage/hospital. Naturally, the water started pouring out of the hole for the well, and the fort started filling with water. By sheer dumb luck, my dwarves succeeded in walling off the hospital before the whole fortress flooded.

Additional facepalms occurred, just after the flooding - but I save scummed those, because they involved one of my named dwarves, and my only other miner, drowning while trying to tap into the cistern. But THIS time, I remembered to put a floodgate in, and after one or two tries, someone hit the floodgate switch at just the right time to close off the pipe before the miner could die.

Barely worth a save scum, really. A fortress that young should just be allowed to flood and get over with the Fun xD

[mydwarfsarentallthatbad]

I thought it would be a great idea to channel a new farm or something on the surface layer for increased food. All of the sudden i got a ton of job cancellations and death reports. I tried to channel right over the hospital and caused a cavein. (probably better than what some dwarfs in the hospital had for them)

[Uggh]

Another one of those hidden functions discovered by accident; in the "bring to trade depot screen" you can press enter in the left column to select everything in the right one.

[Detros]

I finally get to testing some magma forges. I have settled near volcano, prepared some minecarts, doors, levers and mechanisms. Easy setup; four minecarts between two magma safe doors operated via levers. Even one bucket of water in case miner will get on fire during the mining of last wall was prepared. But all didn't go according to plan: miner got slow and dizzy because of cave adaptation so I had to change the lever operator before going on. The he managed to breach the last wall but just at that moment, the one bucket worth of water evaporated (maybe from the heat from the now open volcano). But he run out and lever operator closed doors behind him.

So... well.. then was trying to look at my minecarts filling with lava. I saw molten metal instead. Apparently lead is not magma safe -.-

[aaoo]

A necromancer decided to visit my fortress, and bumped into my 20 almost-elite marksdwarves practicing outside. He gave in to pain after the first bolt and they gathered in a crowd around, shooting wooden bolts at him. Then somehow one jumped out of the flight path of another, and started a chain reaction of jumping out of the flight path, which caused 2 deaths and 1 broken arm...

[Raikaria]

A werebeast shows up with my migrant wave as my first Human Caravan leaves.

I send one squad of melee Urists; and tell me Battlement Marksdwarves to fire from the fortifications.

Of course the archers proceed to ignore that; run down the stairs; past my hammerdwarves; and enter the melee fray with the Werebeast.

Who somehow manages to kill 2 migrants; leave 2 more bleeding out on the ground [Here's hoping they die from their wounds before they turn]; kill one of the Swordsmen; one of my Hammerdwarves and two Archers. I'm just hoping that none of my warriors took a bite.

Admittedly my military wasn't massive; but he was still getting beat on by 2 trained humans; 3 guys with Silver Hammers; and 4 crossbows.

If the other Swordsman took a bite that could also be... !!FUN!!. For the human settlement.

I'm considering closing my gate and leaving the bleeding-out Dwarves to die before they turn. If anyone else turns I have a significant number of War Dogs; a Lion; and two Giant War Leopards. As well as my remaining Hammerdwarves and my Speardwarves stationed near the caverns.

[Rosewood]

So... When I first started playing, and didn't have any idea how military worked, I was having trouble with my Goblin neighbours coming over for their annual games of Whack a Dworf.  After having lost three of my fortresses due to these pests, I came across an area with a lot of lava.  Setting my dwarves to work I quickly constructed the molten moat of Magma with hopes of it entertaining the neighbours in a more dwarf friendly manner.
Then they came, just as I had hoped, and as always they were kind enough to bring their own weapons.  I pulled the lever.  As they all charged into the moat, the lava caught them at the flanks, rushing over them in a sea of red and joyous death!
And I looked upon my work and said, this is good.

...then I realised that when digging the moat I accidentally dug a channel into my underground store of meat and booze...

Needless to say the Dwarves weren't happy.

Goblins 4 Dwarves 0.

[Pearofclubs]

I just remembered this one.
Early on in playing the game for me, I had a bronze colossus show up.
Not really knowing what else to do, I threw my entire military at it.
I didn't really understand how the military worked at this time, and I'm not entirely sure what I did wrong, but they were *supposed* to take weapons with them.
So my twenty odd dwarves ran screaming over the hill, jumped on the colossus and began to wrestle it to death. Many of them died, needless to say.
Still not sure how they managed to kill it, but I imagine the dwarves dressed up as professional wrestlers anytime I think of it.
Dorfimania ran wild that day.