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[Borge]

I was making a cistern in the shape of an inverse pyramid.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Because I'm thoughtless and lazy, i designated all levels for channelling at once. After 5 minutes i get a notice of a cave-in, then suddenly all my miners are crushed to death with 20+ diorite boulders. What happened is the top level gave way with all miners ontop of it, causing them all to roll into the very centre pit, then the diorite boulders followed and exploded my miners.

RIP

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Lord Snow]

Forgotten Beast knocked down a door and pretty much ignored the single weapon trap i had been able to muster at a very early fort stage.
OK. Here we go, death defying CHAAARGE. Except nobody came. Where are you guys?

Scroll around to find 3/4s of my dwarves are trapped behind a wall of fire created by the Forgotten Beasts breath, slowly eating through the cave plant spread i have on my soil layer farms.

._.

edit: aaand my first fort of 40.19 crumbled to ruins.

[HavingPhun]

My doctor was walking outside to get water for a patient, when a bobcat appeared. He proceded to get in a fist fight with it, without any fear. He killed it. I sent my militia commander, clad in full steel, to kill a kobold thief. He killed it, but had a thought noting that he was terrified of battle. Perhaps I chose the wrong man for the job. It also might be that they are more likely to be terrified when against sentient creatures, but still makes me wonder.

[Aslandus]

My doctor was walking outside to get water for a patient, when a bobcat appeared. He proceded to get in a fist fight with it, without any fear. He killed it. I sent my militia commander, clad in full steel, to kill a kobold thief. He killed it, but had a thought noting that he was terrified of battle. Perhaps I chose the wrong man for the job. It also might be that they are more likely to be terrified when against sentient creatures, but still makes me wonder.

*stab*
"Aaaaahgh!"
*chop*
"Oh noooo!"
*decapitate*
"Someone save me!"
"I dunno, you seem to have everything under control..."

[utunnels]

I wonder why soldiers "get previsions", is that a new feature?

Wait, what? Oh, provisions...

[koduesp]

The end of my last fortress was such a hilarious face palming all the way through that I still have a sore forehead.

I mess up my levers first in a goblin siege, which results in getting a full unit of ten crossbowdwarfs slaughtered right next to fortress gates. Better equipped melee dwarves return the favor to all but last remaining two goblins, and I take a look at their general condition and think they will die very soon. So I remove burrow restrictions.

All my civilians start pouring in to the melee of 2 goblins & 10 dwarf soldiers, in an effort to bury the crossbow squad.

Somehow the half-dead goblins manage to slaughter ten civilians right to the fortress gates, too.

Those were all my mistakes, though. Can't blame the dwarves (this time) around.

Yet only half a month passed, and a were-porcupine arrived. It literally bit a soldier dwarf in the toe, and another civilian to the tummy before it went down.

I didn't want to take any risks, so I ordered the two that were bitten to have a nice little get-together at admiring my waste disposal system from the inside, and maybe have a little lever-related accident.

Civilian went there haplessly without any ill doubts, but the soldier dwarf never showed up until it was full moon again, and the slaughter began.

Every month thereafter saw an outbreak of were-porcupines, and I thought that there would be no chance of me finding out all the infected members, so I just didn't care anymore.

I had a small drophole for captured goblin invaders, where I could drop them from a height that injured them badly, but not lethally, to a cavern. In time I had wanted to make a goblin colony there. Perhaps even throw two picks and two axes and some other provisions down too, to see if they would make it any better than my own fort.

Anyway, earlier I had been dropping them one-by-one to avoid any prison revolts, but this time I ordered a mass-dump of eight goblins.

Dwarves managed to throw first one down, but second in line escaped, and all the six dwarves behind got horrified of a naked, escaped  goblin - and dropped their own leashes. So all the while a porcupine-epidemic was raging in the fortress, seven naked goblins were running around and causing chaos in the tunnels below.

Finally all the goblins were killed and the dust had settled from the epidemic (all the infected dwarves were too badly injured so they couldn't land any additional hits even while transformed) and my once-glorious dwarven population of 120 had been reduced down to 19 surviving members.

Hell yeah!

I'd continue this. From the ashes would rise new and improved dwarven empire.

Well.

There was not enough burial space, so ghosts started popping up like mushrooms.

And then outpost liaison comes around.

But it's not outpost liaison from mountainhomes...

As an ultimate testament to the failure of absolutely everything, mountainhomes had been conquered by goblins.

That must have been the most !FUN! I've ever had.

[pisskop]

A civ took over a necromancer tower after my adventurer retired :facepalm:  The site is not loading in legends viewer.

[Quartz_Mace]

I lost a fortress because I built the well improperly and when I tried to seal it off, my masons wouldn't block it off because their building materials were blocking the building site.

[Aslandus]

Tried to wash out my residential area from my cistern and accidentally drowned an armorer... Gotta build a grate over that cistern some time...

[InfinityOps]

Recently, I decided to try an embark close to a necromancer tower. I'd been designing my fortress to counter the impending undead siege. But nothing could have prepared me for the 24 armed and armored zombies that visited me in the first winter...

There were 24 of them, so I figured lining my entrance hallway with 24 cage traps would rout them. It seemed like a solid plan...until I remembered that it was a 3x8 hallway, and that enemies could move through traps that were already triggered. They were already on top of me by the time I realized this.

And that was my shortest lived fortress.

[utunnels]

I had been dumping all the hoofs before.
Until five minutes ago I found they could be used as horns.

[Visus Draconis]

So I've just recently started a fort near a Sinister mountain, and the first thing I did was dig a four Z-level trench to keep any undead away. Of course there were no undead, so when one of my miners fell down a shaft and hurt one arm, I shrugged it off. That is, until my other miner did the same and broke both of her arms.

I groaned, then started frantically trying to keep her alive-- digging for water so they don't die of thirst, going into the 1st-level caverns for fodder and webs, etc. They're fine now, but still... having both your first miners break their arms is not an auspicious start for a fortress.

[Thisfox]

My Broker had so far been very reliable. Always turned up on time. Until this time.

I turned off all of her jobs so she could have some food and sleep and rest while every other dwarf in the fort hauled trade goods to the Depot. Then I went and found her, unsurprisingly, in a large sculpture garden near the waterfall. I checked she was fine, and had the Depot page her. She bolted out of the sculpture garden with "trade at depot" which was a good sign.... and must have tried (and failed) to jump one of the little drainage ditches from the waterfall. Next thing I know, it's "Trader cannot reach depot" and I took a while to find her, fighting the 3-5 or so water flow in the drain. She finally managed to get out... and went straight to bed.

I fired her and got someone else. I might put her back on trading later (her appraisal is nice) but she is in no condition to trade this season.

[utunnels]

What will brokers do when you need them?

1) Cafting/cooking/etc

2) If you disable 1), Stock item in stockpile

3) If you disable 2), Store owned item

4) Eat/drink

5)  Pickup equipment

6) Sleep

7) Yeah, my broker finally wakes up! On break/attend party

[Bearskie]

Mistakenly set rollers to the opposite direction.  Poor dwarf who was tasked to push track vehicle got a solid faceful of lead minecart going at 1step/tick.