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[Nerserus]

Well, i sent my crossbowdwarf out ( He had ALOT of experience under his belt ) to fight the "Chosen Warrior" ambush. Damn, i realised too late they were epic. As a sort of prologue:

 i assumed the merchant dwarves they attacked would kill them off easily ( The "Chosen Warrior" group was Wrestlers ) the merchants got pwned. Hard. Cocky that my Markswarf would win i sent him out to save the merchant ( He was the ONLY survivor ) and, it showed how messed up the "running" A.I really was. At first he spam fired, hitting the chosen axeman ( The only armed one ) in the throat and heart, amazingly kept going until he eventually bled out, never passed out. Then, he was out of bolts. What does Urist Mcarcher do? "Well, 'dem might be tough demons that kill armoured melee dwarves for sport, but being a Marksdwarf i'll for some reason do better!" I know this is to be expected, but it's what happened AFTER that was retarded:

He dodged the first wrestler, INTO, the second one, and was stuck in between them, by some miracle he got out with only a broken arm, and he and the merchant ran up the hills to my fort, easily out running them. Suddenly. The marksdwarf was like "Wait a minute. I have a broken arm, i'm rapidly losing conciousness, BUT. For some reason i reckon...I CAN TAKE THEM!" so, he runs all the way back. Bam. One hit kill. I don't think this guy deserves a grave.

EDIT: Interestingly, i sent out his partner, even HE couldn't defeat them. Though before he fell, a recruit, i didn't even remember i recruited, jumped The Chosen. I got his coffin ready, but to my surprise: He kicked. Their. ASS!
It seems a legend was born from two who died, he charged, all of them down and defeated them. Not a scratch.
He slaughtered them, with less armour, less skill, and less hope, he charged in what seemed a futile revenge tactic. But nay, he killed every last one of them. As a reward i outfitted him with the armour of the fallen caravan gaurds, i now know who shall defend my people from the tidal wave of enemies, and who is becoming my sherrif.

[zchris13]

Fleeing A.I.?

I flooded my fort, on a slightly related note.  Not really related.

Trying to make this post useful.  In any shape or form.

[Mindmaker]

I was preparing for my first Goblin Siege.
Most of my troops were average guys, but I also gut one epic axelord.
So I equipped him with the best steel plate mail, and the best steel axe i could craft.
Guess what?
He drowned during sparring.
There was a 1 Tile wide lake in my sparring area i hadn't seen when i set it up.

[Leafsnail]

When I realised that almost every bed in my entire fortress is too close to a workshop.

[Razin]

I was setting up a very elaborate (by my standards) pre-planned fort. Now, this was easily the best map I have ever gotten (chasm, magma, Chalk and Marble layers, coal and lignite, a dense forest, sand, an underground river, and near constant rainfall.  I struggled with this map (as in 2 separate embarks and about 3-4 reclaim efforts each time)  due to the presence of 4-6 GCS living in various places where the chasm (which ran  N <--> S across nearly the whole massive cliff face ) reached the surface.  Finally, the spiders were vanquished.

I dug out from the top down, cramming dwarves into the crowded and narrow upper levels while the lower areas were being dug ( I don't like making temporary forts).  I get silk and steel industries running smoothly, set up well and irrigation systems (I made my permanent farms about -6z below ground ) got the Countess and her tag-along nobles happy, and set up the power station to power all this and the 8 z lvl, 4 pump strong pumping system to bring magma up to my main project, a huge lake filled with lava surrounding the bunker guarding the 4 ramps down into my fort (my depot was -4z down).  I carve out 1/4 of the lake, build the fairly sizable bridge from the bunker to the shore, get a glass greenhouse built and irrigated for above ground crops under the magma, and even drill a tunnel / road through the western mountain and across the chasm for caravans. 

This is when I get my first siege.  I notice that two of the groups are being fueled through the western tunnel, and eagerly send out my 8 steel chain and plate armored champions, with my marksmen to kill stranglers. 

It's only just after this battle starts that I realize another group has entered my fortress from the east, and is fighting my Fortress and Royal Guards and chasing civilians through the fort, with another coming from the north.  Thinking myself clever, I order the bridges drawn to shut out this fourth group and give my guard time to catch up.

At this point I also notice the some of my dwarfs are doing the entrance dance... right over the bridges.  My failure to plan ahead for that (and I spent quite a while designing the fort) squashed my founding miners and the Mayor.

I think you all know how this ends.

[Shad0wyone]

I was setting up a very elaborate (by my standards) pre-planned fort. Now, this was easily the best map I have ever gotten (chasm, magma, Chalk and Marble layers, coal and lignite, a dense forest, sand, an underground river, and near constant rainfall.  I struggled with this map (as in 2 separate embarks and about 3-4 reclaim efforts each time)  due to the presence of 4-6 GCS living in various places where the chasm (which ran  N <--> S across nearly the whole massive cliff face ) reached the surface.  Finally, the spiders were vanquished.

I dug out from the top down, cramming dwarves into the crowded and narrow upper levels while the lower areas were being dug ( I don't like making temporary forts).  I get silk and steel industries running smoothly, set up well and irrigation systems (I made my permanent farms about -6z below ground ) got the Countess and her tag-along nobles happy, and set up the power station to power all this and the 8 z lvl, 4 pump strong pumping system to bring magma up to my main project, a huge lake filled with lava surrounding the bunker guarding the 4 ramps down into my fort (my depot was -4z down).  I carve out 1/4 of the lake, build the fairly sizable bridge from the bunker to the shore, get a glass greenhouse built and irrigated for above ground crops under the magma, and even drill a tunnel / road through the western mountain and across the chasm for caravans. 

This is when I get my first siege.  I notice that two of the groups are being fueled through the western tunnel, and eagerly send out my 8 steel chain and plate armored champions, with my marksmen to kill stranglers. 

It's only just after this battle starts that I realize another group has entered my fortress from the east, and is fighting my Fortress and Royal Guards and chasing civilians through the fort, with another coming from the north.  Thinking myself clever, I order the bridges drawn to shut out this fourth group and give my guard time to catch up.

At this point I also notice the some of my dwarfs are doing the entrance dance... right over the bridges.  My failure to plan ahead for that (and I spent quite a while designing the fort) squashed my founding miners and the Mayor.

I think you all know how this ends.

Tantrum spirals are fun!
Anyway, I think I facepalmed when I realized the wonders of mass designation.

[GoneWacko]

Mass stone selections for constructions.

I pretty much facepalmed when I read this.


Other moments (so far) of facepalming:

• Building a wall some 30 tiles away from my main entrance as a first line of defense, with a moat dug out next to it (mostly for show, really). Then discovering that I'd dug a channel into my underground farming, crafting, carpentry and masonry operations one level below said wall.
• Digging up into an aquifer *twice* in a quest to find sand to use for glassmaking, both times escaping from an oxygen-deprived death by having lightning fast masons that build walls faster than their own shadows. Then finding heaps of sand lying about waiting to be collected on the surface...
• Building a bridge over a brook and being surprised when the dwarves would stand in the water to build it.

Yes, I'm new.

[geoduck]

Building a bridge over a brook and being surprised when the dwarves would stand in the water to build it.

I did that with one of my first forts, although in my defense I was unaware of the difference between brooks and rivers.
I still build a bridge over the local brook when running a road to the edge of the map, but just because it looks nice.

[Rockphed]

Biggest facepalm moment of mine was when I dug into the local underground river only to have it pour UP out of the hole and flood my entire fort.  From now on, all exploratory mining in the direction of water features will be done in 1 tile wide tunnels with a door at the end.

[salttotart]

Building a wall some 30 tiles away from my main entrance as a first line of defense, with a moat dug out next to it (mostly for show, really). Then discovering that I'd dug a channel into my underground farming, crafting, carpentry and masonry operations one level below said wall.

Your not alone.  I did that too one of my first fortresses.  Except I didn't realize it until I had added water and noticed that the middle sections weren't filling correctly.

[ArkDelgato]

A fire imp burned the ashen crossbow out of my marksdwarves hand.

BADASS.

[Dareon Clearwater]

Discovering that the "remv cre" option in the Units and Jobs menus is really really useful.  I have spent HOURS waiting for my miner/mason to stop making rock blocks and start digging.  No longer!

[zchris13]

Discovering that the "remv cre" option in the Units and Jobs menus is really really useful.  I have spent HOURS waiting for my miner/mason to stop making rock blocks and start digging.  No longer!

WHY did you make your miner a mason?

[Shurikane]

Discovering that the "remv cre" option in the Units and Jobs menus is really really useful.  I have spent HOURS waiting for my miner/mason to stop making rock blocks and start digging.  No longer!

What does "remv cre" do anyway?

[Hagadorn]

This picture reminds me of Curtin universities architecture Department Building...

(I predict all of... 2 people getting that)

I hate that building, I swear you have to go up to about the 5th floor to reach the third. Apparently there's an entire corridor of offices up there somewhere that were locked up in the 80s and forgotten about.


Incidentally, what subject do you do (I'm nanotechnology honours)?




On topic, the time I connected my 10 z level self powered pumping array, and realised (as my fort started to overflow) I'd neglected an off switch, and the necessary assemblies were now 3 z levels under water.

In response to that.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Its the only building I know of where you can be on the 5th floor, behind some railing, looking at the OTHER side of the 5th floor. Now, if you wanna get to the other side? Go to the end and walk across? NO!

Go down two levels then go back up.
Also, the stairs are uneven and not level.

Anyhow, I work at the Tav 'bistro' and mainly just hang around Comssa.

Heh. Off switches are for pansies. I just had to slaughter my legendary Engraver, Miner and Farmer. All because my Queen decided to go berserk in my 'high class living quarters'.

I locked the doors, pulled the lever and watched them all drown... Except the queen with legendary swimming... Her I just flushed into the pit.