Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[MattStriker]

Started a new fort. Found that it had huge supplies of lignite and started stockpiling the stuff for when I got decent ores. I also had tons of wood (jungle embark) so I put a charcoal burner on repeat just for the hell of it (and to piss off any elves that might come by).

I set up things so that the wood destined for the burner, the lignite and the finished charcoal would all end up in the same large storeroom, directly adjacent to the hall where I was setting up my metal industry.



Then I hit magma in a pretty much perfect spot and abandoned the coal project in favor of magma forges.

Fast forward two years, and a magma crab ends up in the forge room during an expansion effort. Militia (which I'd posted next to the construction area for just this situation) goes in to kill it and quickly sorts it out...but in the process one bloody idiot miner dodges into the red stuff, becoming a !!dwarf!!. He then proceeds to run screaming up the central staircase.

Guess which room he ended up falling over in.

[Ringsea]

That face-palm moment where your chief medical dwarf becomes a legendary stonecrafter through strange mood.... When you already have nearly a dozen legendary stonecrafters and only one medical dwarf.

[Spy227X]

Millitary commander kills insane person and becomes Axelord.
The new axelord randomly decides to kill my bats.
And injure my colossuses.
WHAT THE HECK?

[Crazy Horse]

A Giant Sponge? That should be easy practice for my axe militia.

[WannabeSpartan]

When I was digging out a cobalt vein in the cavern area, I didn't notice that I accidentally dug into the middle part of the cave. My fortress of 11 dwarves was destroyed by 3 blind cave ogres, 5 troglodytes, and 1 giant cave spider. I only had 1 mason with a copper axe.

[arbiter787]

Edit: In adventurer mode, the only quest anyone in this town will give me is to go kill a vampire with 2174 kills. That may be a bit beyond my peasants capabilities.

Thing is, vampires kill their prey sneakily, so they need not have any combat skill at all while having killed fifty gazillion idiots.

[GuesssWho]

Edit: In adventurer mode, the only quest anyone in this town will give me is to go kill a vampire with 2174 kills. That may be a bit beyond my peasants capabilities.

Thing is, vampires kill their prey sneakily, so they need not have any combat skill at all while having killed fifty gazillion idiots.

Yeah, I killed a vampire that had 25 kills with an adventurer who was killed a few in-game days later by Random Goblin #5.

[Ianflow]

So I tried the Masterworks mod as the kobolds, figured I'd like the challenge. Had issues with lack of wood, metals, and the like, but scrape by until the Elven caravan. Figured I could get all of that off the Elves no issue, since I had plenty of value to trade and they had plenty of each to trade with. The problem? I tried to trade spiked wooden balls and promptly got slaughtered by the Elves due to a lack of a military (no metals), and lack of wood (no arching them) . Gotta love forgetting key details when trading with the various races .

Reading this, I just realized why the elves got pissed at me all of a sudden...

My fortress was running low on food and cloth, so naturally I was delighted to see a caravan coming (even if it was elven, I mean, desperate times calls for desperate measures). Hauled all my craft-goods to the depot, and marked all the elves cloth and edible items for trade. However, since my craft-goods were in containers, I think I failed to notice that some wooden items came along (since they were stored in the same containers), because when I tried to trade the elf was like "I will not trade with someone who abuses fine wood in this way".

I was like serious wtf-mode. I mean sure, I tried getting away cheap, but no THAT cheap, and what is all this about wood?

But now I realize what happened... And since they haven't left, I think I'll kill them for insulting my crafts. Yes, that sounds about fair.

Want to sell them back their wooden shield? They get pissed, but it was THEM who made that thing.
They sell you wooden logs, but do not want anything made of them? But THEY felled the tree.
...

etc.

To be fair, they don't kill trees.
They GROW the trees into the shapes they sell you, just, with magic apparently

Edit: In adventurer mode, the only quest anyone in this town will give me is to go kill a vampire with 2174 kills. That may be a bit beyond my peasants capabilities.

Thing is, vampires kill their prey sneakily, so they need not have any combat skill at all while having killed fifty gazillion idiots.

Yeah, I killed a vampire that had 25 kills with an adventurer who was killed a few in-game days later by Random Goblin #5.

They kill when their prey sleeps, so as long as you don't sleep in the vampire's home, you should be fine
And their physical skills ease to grow or diminish when they go vamp (so its rare you'd find a legendary axevamp)

[WillowLuman]

If you call vampires out and run, everyone in the room will just team up to hold the vampire down and stab it repeatedly until it dies. There are few things which cannot be defeated by a peasant bumrush.

Unfortunately, Bronze Colossi are one of those things. Not one of my brighter moments...

[Spectrelight]

Shortly after setting up my forge level above some tunnels filled with magma, I was flipping through Z-levels and noticed that something was awry at one of the magma smelters: there was a cloud of smoke and magma mist in the air, and some trails of blood leading to three dead haulers. I quickly sealed off the area to investigate, but couldn't figure out what had happen. I unsealed the area, and another hauler immediately runs into the room and gleefully dives into the magma, throwing another cloud of magma mist into the air. It turns out that I had designated some ore in the tunnel to be dumped, and the dwarves hadn't gotten around to picking it up before I forgot about it, sealed the area and breached the magma pipe.

[Boltgun]

I understood I had an undead problem when I got "interrupted by mussel shell" notifications all of sudden. The shells rose from an outside stockpile, so I create a burrow, set the alert and dwarves ran to safety behind my set of doors.

Of course doing so Urist McFarmer dropped a strawberry seed on one of the doors, jamming it open.

[MattStriker]

That's why I'm always building in drawbridge-based 'blast doors'. Had it happen with a goblin arm that landed on the door after the rest of the goblin got...glass-disked. Lost five dwarves to what should have been a simple test of the trap corridor.

[Sir Ratburge]

Butchered a cow on a 'terrifying' map early on in the game to prevent them from starving and becoming zombies, unfortunately the exact opposite happened... the hair immediately came back to life and strangled the butcher then proceeded to strangle a dog which both turned into the undead and finished off the rest of my poor fortress.

[Boltgun]

That's why I'm always building in drawbridge-based 'blast doors'. Had it happen with a goblin arm that landed on the door after the rest of the goblin got...glass-disked. Lost five dwarves to what should have been a simple test of the trap corridor.

Behind the doors there is a militia barracks, then two doors, then the fortress. So the fortress itself is safe, maybe.

But that seed caused my second facepalm. Despite the burrow order two dwarves wanted to finish hauling bone bolts to the militia segment. They dodged the shells all the way in the wrong direction and are now outside escaping from hair.

Edit : nvmthe necormancer was found by my militia while puching the shells. He painted the entrance with his arms.

[EBannion]

I embarked on a Terrifying region with some decent mountains and a lot of trees, and I was managing to fend off the horrible beasts and got a good little burrow going.

I moved my dwarves inside and even, despite the repulsive mucous raining from the sky which caused uncontrollable vomiting had managed to get some perimeter defenses and farms working.

Then I butchered a yak and its skin killed everyone in my fortress.

Oops.