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[Slayerhero90]

My duke convicted Urist McPlanter for "Violation of Production Order" (which somehow happened despite me paying constant attention to the mandates), decided to ignore the jail and probably sentenced him to a beating. Anyway, a sworddwarf punched his skull into his brain with a single strike. In his bedroom.

Some time later, "Urist McPlanter has been found dead" showed up in announcements. YOU DON'T SAY?

Now some dwarf is sleeping in his bed. Yup, right next to the corpse.

I check the Justice screen and see the unresolved case of Urist McPlanter's murder. Yeah, who could've done it? I have no idea.

I am beginning to think my dwarves are not very good at this "justice" thing.

Dwarves aren't really good at anything.
Mine aren't even good at getting killed. Starvation, dehydration, starvation, dehydration, do something ELSE.

[WillowLuman]

Well, they are very good at digging. Other races can't even get through a packed sand wall.

[icosahedron]

I designed a half underground half above ground fortress. Several layers, lots of spots for marksdwarfs, optimized stockpiles/workshops, etc. Took many time.

Then when unpaused i saw that i mistook wall for floor, and floor for wall.

[Pakkanen]

I was under siege by goblins so I assigned all civilians inside the fort. After a while there was only one goblin left who was stuck between a wall and a tree. I let all the animals and workers out of the fort to drink and haul the spoils of war. After a while I noticed that there was only a few dwarfs inside the fort. I started getting job cancellations because of a speargoblin so I zoomed in and found this.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Somehow this goblin with a cracked spine was scaring off all of my workers and they cant cross the bridge. I had assigned both of my archer squads to kill this guy and yes they did have the equipment. None of my archers did nothing so now everyone starves. It later occurred to me that I could mine down into my fort but by then many had already starved and a forgotten beast had entered my fort from the caverns.
So hundreds killed by a spineless goblin...

I think he might have fallen off his flying mount?

[Astrid]

My Legendary Miner decided to went moody at the complete wrong time and asked for something that was nearly impossible to get hands on.

Results. 9 killed, My Military, Chief Doctor and Record keeper who happened to be there. 3 more mortally wounded.
Some scars here and there. So many body parts laying around. Mroe body parts than corpses actually... way more...

[WillowLuman]

In a spectacular fail, I pressed 't' when I meant 'f'

Spoiler: A short-lived adventurer (click to show/hide)

[Jacob/Lee]

That's why we have melee proficiency and something pointy as a backup plan

[WillowLuman]

Problem in adv mode, your adventurer just sits around and lets everybody hit him/her with no resistance until projectiles hit something, instead of letting you shoot and then duck back into hiding or run. So, aligator charged me while control was disabled and killed me.

[Bartholomew The Pious]

I think we've all been there, after a succesful siege, 16 jabberer/dragon/olm/what not corpses are left in the battlefield, and some field butcher shops have been built. And then for some inexplicable reason after all your meat industrial preparations were built, you decide to go full-do'h and attend to other matters. That is when you come back and check that bone scraps are left in the stockpiles around, where there should have been meaty corpses.

[urmane]

"Yeah, I know it's warm, go ahead and dig it."

[EmeraldWind]

So I had been killing things on my gate bridge. Lots of goblins and kobolds.

A siege shows up and I raise the bridge to give my military some time to group.

But I didn't realize they were already grouped where they need to be because I never canceled the order.

The bridge raises and all the shit on the bridge goes flying everywhere!
It looks like a flood of random junk flowing away from the bridge like water.

Then my militia gets pelted with the random junk falling from the sky.

I get messages like this on my combat report:
The ({large giant cave spider silk loincloth}) strikes The Hammer Lord in the left foot, bruising the muscle through the x(pig tail fiber show)x!

I couldn't stop laughing... I had no idea how much crap was on that bridge.

[blaster339]

Once I built a really big stockpile, and stocked it 'till it was fat enough and full.
Then I discovered the convenience of bins and chests, oh the agony
I wasted a whole giant room when I could've used containers

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

I have ordered my haulers to haul stones to other side of a river.
It's now filled with 500 stones and like 40 wheelbarrows.

[Larix]

I have a seaside fort where the ocean freezes for a bit over four months per year. The spring migration wave of the second year appeared on the ice, about half an in-game hour before the ocean melted. No-one made it to the fort.

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

I have test-fired my ballista. Then, Urist McDumb has decided to haul some stones in front of it. Guess who was operating the ballista? His daughter...

Not from Dwarf Fortress - I have been looking for a book to read, then I have noticed something on my bookshelf... This is a masterfully crafted book masterfully decorated with an image of funny last name in paper by "Fran Dorf"