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[Constantinople]

Nothing that big, and I caught it before Fun could be had but still:

My dwarves have no soil, so I'm building an irrigation system plus well for them.
This well comes with an emergency drain, two sets of floodgates hooked to the same lever like so:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

....|XX|....
....|++|....
....|++|....
.../++X....
../+++X....
./++++|....
KEY=
| Wall
+ Floor
X Floodgate
. Space

So the idea was that when the lever was pulled the floodgates at the top would close.
The lever would also open the lower floodgates, leading to the pump tower.

While installing grates a dwarf got stuck so I had the lever pulled and...
Levers apparently don't work that way.
Instead of two floodgates that can alternate being open I built two floodgates that open and close at the same time, but one just happened to start open.

I can only imagine how much Fun this would have been if I discovered it after I let the water in.

[sproingie]

One of the earlier lessons I learned was: give your soldiers armor before giving them all obsidian swords.

[Fist_Of_Armok]

Apparently the space I dug out for my dorfs to place pumps in was done wrong.

I've been avoiding my fortress for the last few days due to that, despite the bit of the fortress that requires it not being anywhere near done-or anything LIKE being near done.

[ZergSpartan]

So I got the bright idea to give my dwarves the fireball-throwing ability of fire imps.
Queue 2 years after fort establishment, first siege! Draft all the dwarves in the fort! CHAAAAARGE!

Urist Mcfireball has died in the heat x15

Ooooh, oops, forgot to make dwarves fireproof...

[atomfullerene]

I've been having fun with HFS lately.  I'm kind of new at it, so I didn't properly airlock my miner in the first time and lost a fort to FUN.  Which actually was kind of fun.  The second time I was more prepared to wall off the area, and did so in time to keep my fortress from being invaded.  However, my greedy dwarves rushed in to get the adamantine which I didn't think to forbid, and I lost quite a few good dwarves who were trapped on the wrong side of the sealing wall.  Had a few tantrums, but just managed to avoid a spiral. (had a nice artifact coffin produced right away, which let me bump the dining room value waaay up.)

I'm plotting  my revenge on the demons now, with a complicated series of spike traps, archery, ballistas, and whatever else I feel like.  And next time I run into hfs I'll be better prepared (of course it will all change next version anyway)

[yeznik]

I attempted today, for the first time, to rob a caravan. I walled up my trade depot, trapping three caravans inside, and then filled it with water and waited for them to drown. I waited seven seasons and everyone in the 7/7 water was doing swimmingly. I popped a wall out and imagine my surprise when all 40 merchant guards/animals went mad or berserk. I don't think it will ever be safe to go outside again.

[Edit: Also, for some reason the guards that went berserk are generating crystal explosions.]

Edit: The giant horses have slaughtered the last of my champions. This loss is as inexplicable as it is terrible.

[Time Kitten]

Giant horse!? you took what is known here as the scourge of the plains... the things that slaughter entire human villages in the night, weaponmasters, archers, what appear to be mighty warriors (children) and all without taking a single scratch... and you made them GIANT!?

single donkeys have been known to take out forts of less than 10.  Consider yourself lucky to be merely dead to the world outside, and not to yourself.

[Jack_Bread]

I remember, one-time as a newbie, adding a waterfall to my meeting hall that drains into an artificial river. With no drains.

Oddly, my fort fell due to dehydration, AKA no farms, no brewery, Winter in a cold place.

EDIT: Also, placing statues in corners, then trying to smooth the wall.

[*Poster*]

Unless one was incredibly tough.

I don't think anyone is that tough in reality (which was what I was comparing the game to). In a fantasy setting in general, or in DF in particular, that's obviously different.

As best as we can tell from the historical record, during his Indian campaign Alexander the Great suffered a very serious chest wound, probably a punctured lung, and survived it.

[Bralbaard]

My fortresses only artefact was just stolen by a coyote. I didn't even know they could steal stuff.
I have never had a object stolen from the fortress before, but have killed over 20 hobgoblin, avar and skalassi thiefs (Playing the LL mod). I'm still waiting for an explanation from my fortress guard on how a simple canine has managed to just randomly grab the most valuable artefact in the fortress, and sneak away with it. I suspect something fishy is going on, and the guards blamed the coyote to cover things up.

Edit: I should note that the only entrance into the fortress is through the barracks, where my entire military is training. I know there was a party near the granite statue, but that's not a good excuse.

[Danjen]

So hypothetically, a fort can be brought down with a bridge. This definitely didn't happen to me. *cough*

If the fort happens to be in haunted territory, you want a good way to seal the fort off from outside, right? Obviously, it would be prudent for me the designer to build a drawbridge and control exactly what enters, and when.

Well, if the elf caravan just happens to finish trading and the bridge is up, preventing exit, the game doesn't tell you. It just says they embarked. About 10 minutes later you might get a message to the effect of "Elf McHippy has gone berserk! Two-humped camel has gone berserk! Elf McHippy has gone stark-raving mad!". Now, camels are pretty badass, especially to a young fort of 10 dwarfs with no military. Of the two survivors of this horrible massacre (I managed to trap a camel in the dining room), one went insane, killed the other, and promptly drowned himself.

The moral? F--- elves!

[ungulateman]

My current fortress is being drowned by RAINDROPS. I decided that watering my growing fields would make them more effective, but instead, since it was open to the regular, heavy rains, is now flooding my fortress. It's taking almost all of my supplies to floor it off. 

Also, those stupid impassable walls in the workshop meant my first craftsdwarf died about midsummer. 

[dAGNARUS]

I was building a siege tower of about 10 z levels, really a massive tower, which I would use in sieges (hence the name siege tower) with a catapult and/or a ballista on top. Turns out siege weapons only fire at things on the same z level. That was the first time I screamed at my computer.

[AxisKiller]

I had returned to DF after a long time of not playing and loaded up my old fortress. I was figuring out where everything was, and found my old lever room. I had forgotten to label the levers, but I figured none of them were a self-destruct mechanism, so I just pulled one and see what happened. I see, "Urist McSmith has burned to death!" shortly followed by "Urist McFarmer has drowned!" I then notice my fortress is flooding with water and magma, from two opposite sides.

[monkeyfetus]

Tax collector makes a mandate for large gems. I carve my entire stockpile of gems, and do exploratory mining to find more. I barely finish the mandate on time after going through all 50 gems I had plus ten or so more I found mining while the mandate was active. Before the season ends, he makes another mandate for large gems.