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[PainRack]

God... no.... don't possess my armourer........... I want it to have a skill gain damn it!

Out of the ten artifacts I had so far, I had only two strange moods that weren't possession. A legendary woodcrafter and a legendary gem cutter.......

[Aviator CJ]

More of a 'stupid thing to say' facepalm, but I was building catwalks in the circus when I kept on getting clowns arriving. I said to myself, "why is Hell being invaded by demons?" I then realised what I had said, and facepalmed and laughed my head off simultaneously.

[Mageziya]

So when trading 11k worth in crafts and crap, 3k profit is not enough. Dammit, this is not 'childish', I needed that caravan! I guess the The Strapping Trades lives up to their name.

SAVE SCUM AHOY.

[Blackadder]

This is just fantastic. I just got an immigration wave of around 50 dwarves. Half of them are children, the rest are peasants with NO skills. Except for one, whose only skill is Legendary Beekeeper.

So I've decided to begin operation mass honey production. So far I have the Guru of beekeeping, and have assigned him fourteen assistants, and I'm presently covering the surface in hives. (That sounds unpleasant).

[krenshala]

On the bright side, Blackadder, you'll instantly know what those guys are once they reach novice in the task you assigned them too.

For me, its a militia uniform facepalm today.  New fort, waiting for the first caravan to arrive after getting two wimpy migrant waves (I have 15 dwarves so far).  I take half of the second migrant wave (two dwarves) and draft them as the initial members of my militia.  I order bismuth bronze weapons, sheilds, helms and mail made to match their listed uniforms.  As soon as the weapon and shields are ready I set them to training.

Then the black bear shows up.

This wouldn't normally be a problem, except I set the militia to replace civilian clothing with their militia uniform.  This means the militia commander has a spear, shield and helm, while the other guy has only a spear and shield.  The face palm moment being -- don't have your militia dump their clothes until you've got the required items to give them some covering in combat, even if it isn't much (cloth).

The bear, of course, sliced open the soldier's leg then shook him around by the head for the time it took the militia commander to get there and run her off.  So, currently, half my military is unconscious and bleeding out from the multiple arteries in his head torn open by the bear, while the other half is chasing the bear with kill orders.  On the bright side the dwarf down is right outside the gate, the CMD is currently idle, and the expedition leader is already on the way to 'recover wounded'.

[Joben]

Oh my god. My lvl 13 armorsmith just went stark raving mad from a failed strange mood.

He's the ONLY dwarf in the fort of 188 with ANY skill in that field. This is going to SUCK to fix...

I should have been training an apprentice/backup...Here's to stockpile rooms piled high with copper crap.

[ZestDwarf]

So i avoided the caverns until i could have a military that could seriously kick butt. I especially wanted to wait because of all the forgotten beast messages i was getting.
So i finally get a battle hardened army of 10 dwarves that are rather candy clad (For some reason they wont equip some of the DAMN pieces even though i directly assigned everyone their armor)
I pop a hole into a cavern and move my military outside the hole to fight off any little angry monsters and feel rather confident with my military.
It was epic. roughly 6 forgotten beasts, some one after another, some two at a time. My dwarves work miracles, not taking a single hit as they slaughter them all.
Im feeling rather smug. but annoyed that the forgotten beasts keep coming and fighting my dwarves.
Finally. what im pretty sure must be the last forgotten beast comes up. Ah, simple, no poisonous blood, no bullcrap, ok.
The damn web farting peice of crap comes trundling up and sprays all my dwarves, then comes up and one shots them in the head with a claw that seemed to pass through there addy helms without registering them. *sigh*
*facepalm* there goes the epic army of elite dwarves after killing all those monsters...
thank god the king was around and had his legendary soldiers, i had them in another unit and sent them down to slap the damn thing in the face. Still... stupid cheap forgotten jerks

[Xob Ludosmbax]

New embark.  Scorching, evil biome.  Somehow all 60 barrels of booze disappear within the first month, and all of the food rots.  I suspect the demon rats had something to do with it.  I figure, no problem, I still have seeds.  I have water from the aquifer.  I can butcher the yaks if necessary (evil biome though).  The flying cats (peregrine falcons) will eventually lay some eggs.  I can recover from this.  The harpies kill one of my flying cats, so I build doors and have them sealed tight, to prevent future demon rat hunting inspired accidents.  Everyone keeps going outside into the bloody rain (no, really) probably to get a sock, and they keep getting interrupted by the harpies, and I can't find the damn thing forbid it.  I figure it's only a matter of time until a dwarf dies, so I just lock the doors entirely.  It's a constant struggle, no booze, little food.  One dwarf goes berserk.  Finally the caravan arrives.  I figure from now on, it's going to be easy mode.  I unforbid the front doors, and the caravan makes its way to the entrance.  They make it to the door and immediately turn around and leave the map. 

I think it's because the doors were not pet-passable, so their animals couldn't get through. 

[Togre]

I've finally overcome my "oops, I forgot to lock the arena door and now formerly captured enemies are loose among the civilians" phase.  This time I locked the door.  I wondered why the room was not being cleaned.  I wondered why my one squad refused to chase after local wildlife when ordered but instead  said "no path found."  I wondered why a markdwarf died of thrist.  Oh.  <unlocks door>

[backora900]

I just can see where my fort is going. First aftifact was iron barrel. Secon was palm bucket. Now I only have to wait for artifact block so I can create legendary ashery. Or shall I create legendary soap maker's worshop?
Also that artifact goblin bone earring will look good on my next asher.

[misko27]

There are no artifact blocks. However, here are suitable materials that would make a awesome ashery. candy, perhaps.

[Joben]

Down in a cavern there are two crundles standing amidst the remains of dead crundles. About 6 civilian dwarves keep running up to grab stuff from the pile of gore, getting freaked out the the live crundles (Which are not being aggressive), running away, and then deciding a minute later that they really want that stuff... rinse and repeat.

[brainfreez]

make your soap maker shop out of soap and your ashery out of ash or potash.

[RLPudding]

i was wondering, why my dwarves were getting bad thoughts for walking around with tattered cloth, even though i have a clothier on duty 24/7.
i did some reading, and it turns out, that dwarves wear foreign cloth (from goblins and stuff) when it fits. and in my previous forts, i claimed all the cloth left behind from failed ambushes and co.

[ZestDwarf]

UGH. Facepalm/ wanna slap the dwarf.
My suicidal expert miner pulls a lever to a gate close by to close the cavern off.
After pulling it to close the gate, he immediately trundles toward and onto the gate and crushes himself in the tiny space where the gate opens. -facepalm- Freaking idiot... There should be a way to slap your dwarves like the creatures in dungeon keeper.