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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2211357 times)

Hanslanda

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6660 on: July 16, 2012, 02:59:06 am »

Going back to Dwarf Fortress after a long time, decided to go mainly aboveground. I'm right between a river and a brook: a year of digging and channeling, and my moat-around-most-of-the-map is nearly completed. Let's see the gobbos cross thi--

Winter has arrived.

...shit. Is that ice?


Lol, ice. Good time, good times. :)
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Cheesoburgor

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6661 on: July 16, 2012, 03:13:16 am »

''Horrible screams come from the darkness below''
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Ironlion

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6662 on: July 16, 2012, 10:55:03 pm »

Yeah but the trick to getting cotton candy is to make sure to isolate it, then set up a support attached to a lever so that a cave-in completely caps off that whole shaft.  In fact, having several of these dead-fall "panic button" traps can be a lifesaver.   Depending how deep, you may get your miners out in time; and depending on lever-pulling time, you may want to put in a nice long hallway covered by Ballistae.   

Then, when you do this, it is EXTREMELY important to make sure that your mechanic dwarf suspends the job to connect support beam and the lever.  Make sure you don't notice or check this.  That way, when you pull the lever, fun will closely follow, in one of the most entertaining ways to lose a fortress, i.e clown party. 
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Other monsters crowded around me, continually attacking.  I treated them politely, offering the edge of my razor-sharp sword; but the feast, I think, did not please them.

Hanslanda

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6663 on: July 16, 2012, 11:13:52 pm »

Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

WillowLuman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6664 on: July 16, 2012, 11:53:13 pm »

Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
Well, kill your fps anyway. Never, not once, heard of anything getting killed by vermin. Roaches might give bad thoughts though, and those do kill.
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weenog

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6665 on: July 16, 2012, 11:59:12 pm »

Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
Well, kill your fps anyway. Never, not once, heard of anything getting killed by vermin. Roaches might give bad thoughts though, and those do kill.

Many types of vermin will eat your food.  Many specimens of vermin will eat all your food.
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Hanslanda

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6666 on: July 17, 2012, 12:16:45 am »

Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
Well, kill your fps anyway. Never, not once, heard of anything getting killed by vermin. Roaches might give bad thoughts though, and those do kill.

Many types of vermin will eat your food.  Many specimens of vermin will eat all your food.

ALL your food. And whatever your farms produce gets consumed by the growing horde of ungrateful pets your dwarves have unwittingly attracted.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

SixOfSpades

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6667 on: July 17, 2012, 12:20:42 am »

Found out firsthand what happens when a Baron notices that he's cohabiting with his long-term girlfriend. Poor fellow was deeply traumatized, and apparently I didn't correct the situation quickly enough . . . when he went Berserk, I decided, "Ah, this merits an honorable savescum, might as well sit back and watch what a Legendary Miner wearing (& wielding) masterwork steel everything can do."

Final tally? 57 out of 86 dwarves slain, plus 30-odd head of livestock, before he died of thirst. He lost 2 teeth and broke his right ear.
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ZestDwarf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6668 on: July 17, 2012, 12:36:30 am »

*sigh* i hate and love how sometimes one of your dwarves can pull a David and Goliath moment.
So a giant comes into my fort before i can fully equip my military. I know giants are not much of a threat, but i go through the effort of designating the burrow zones and assigning everyone and positioning my military to intercept the giant.
Whoa, that thing can run, its practically at my gates! well, hope those traders can handle it.
*Urist Mchunter returns from hunt and spy's giant*
*Urist Mchunter uses David and goliath moment by pegging giant in face with single shot!*
Its super effective!
*Goliath McGiant faints!*
Welp. I now have a dwarf i gave the profession "Giant Killer" to, but i sure didn't have to go through all the fuss of readying my fort for Goliath.
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Aviator CJ

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6669 on: July 17, 2012, 02:29:40 am »

I've spent 10 in-game years building up the serrated-disc trap-laden entrance to Fortunemine so it can purče any siege. I decide that this time I won't bother with cage traps. And who shows up? A freaking fire-breathing dragon. I wanted that dragon in one piece, dammit, not five!
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backora900

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6670 on: July 17, 2012, 04:18:52 am »

Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
In one of my forts I tried to tame and breed peregrine falcons. And it worked for vermin quite well. Beside it is bird so if you don't want it to breed you just have to collect eggs. Also it doesn't have that silly habit to adopt your dwarves.
You can chnge them to domestic in raws if you want to try them instead of cats. (bonus: take giant peregrine falcon - it should work as well)

Also I thought that food in barrels is protected from vermin. Or do you speak of something else?
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Ironlion

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6671 on: July 17, 2012, 07:32:53 am »

I guess you have to like cats? Really though, as long as you kill enough of the items to have a decent population without uncontrolled breeding (keeping only the males and perhaps 2 or 3 females, opposite of livestock), cats are great.   What really hugs me: no letterboxes.  And considering what cat urine is like, imagine that I'm a cave with no ventilation....  Might need better with the rats.
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Other monsters crowded around me, continually attacking.  I treated them politely, offering the edge of my razor-sharp sword; but the feast, I think, did not please them.

bukitodinos

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6672 on: July 17, 2012, 08:24:56 am »

Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
I always keep 2 out for that purpose.
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Snateraar

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6673 on: July 17, 2012, 10:10:47 am »

I tried to make my first DAS and somehow failed miserably. All the refuse ended up one z-level below because I dug a pit.
So I designated those items to be dumped again, but while dwarves were taking away the bones another already got to the level above and accidentally dumped elephant bones on another dorf's head.

He broke his spine and suffocated a few minutes later. Meanwhile nobody gave a damn because mist generators.
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A tall, clumsy creature fond of birds and industry.

Hanslanda

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6674 on: July 17, 2012, 10:17:28 am »

Cats.
Cats are interesting creatures.
On one hand, we have the hideously deadly catsplosion, death of many a well established fortress.
On the other hand, if you forget to embark with cats, and don't have any... Well, let's just say goddamn lungfish and roaches can kill your fortress just as efficiently as a 200+ goblin siege busting down the only door.
In one of my forts I tried to tame and breed peregrine falcons. And it worked for vermin quite well. Beside it is bird so if you don't want it to breed you just have to collect eggs. Also it doesn't have that silly habit to adopt your dwarves.
You can chnge them to domestic in raws if you want to try them instead of cats. (bonus: take giant peregrine falcon - it should work as well)

Also I thought that food in barrels is protected from vermin. Or do you speak of something else?


This is fricking awesome and I will definitely do it.

I guess you have to like cats? Really though, as long as you kill enough of the items to have a decent population without uncontrolled breeding (keeping only the males and perhaps 2 or 3 females, opposite of livestock), cats are great.   What really hugs me: no letterboxes.  And considering what cat urine is like, imagine that I'm a cave with no ventilation....  Might need better with the rats.


Yeah, cat leavings all over the floor of a fortress would be disgusting and dangerous. I believe decomposing waste matter produces gases such as methane. Methane is explosive. Also, gets you high from air deprivation, which would explain a LOT about Dwarves.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.
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