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[Slayerhero90]

I recently tried to volcano-scout, and tried building off of a bridge. Poor, Poor, NotUrist  . (only mason, no migrants)
I had just reclaimed after not knowing that attacking the stubborn merchants who refuse to leave causes a loyalty cascade. I had 4 successful artifacts, and in 1.5 years as well. A shit-ton of gold, silver, lead, copper, and iron, with some native aluminum as well. NOT TO MENTION CINNABAR!

Basically, I just had my first FUN ever. 

[Spooky]

How long did it take to figure out you need Wood Burning to make charcoal?

I had wood burners, but they didn't care. I still don't have any charcoal.

[floundericiousWA]

How long did it take to figure out you need Wood Burning to make charcoal?

I had wood burners, but they didn't care. I still don't have any charcoal.

Weird.  Do you have a military alert or burrows set that are keeping the dwarves away from the furnace?  Is it possible that you have a dwarf whose profession is "wood burner" but his/her job preference for wood burning is turned off?

[misko27]

Well, I just discovered my megaproject is entirely off by 1 square tile in each direction.
Unfortunately, i learned soon after that doing mass deconstructions on a multi-level above-ground progect is a terrible idea.
Then I learned that children have soft heads.
Then I learned that if 2 tons of microcline falls on you, you gonna suffocate.
Finally, I learned that adamantine greaves were possibly my best investment ever. (turns out a legendary swordsdwarf was in the area, but fortunately, his adamantine greaves absorbed the entire impact. 

[Child of Armok]

My migrants come and 50% is directly stricen by melanocholy.

[Hanslanda]

My migrants come and 50% is directly stricen by melanocholy.

Urist McMigrant punches the Melancholy in the lower body with his right hand, but the attack glances away!
The Melancholy kicks Urist McMigrant in the head, shattering the skull and tearing the brain!
Urist McMigrant has been struck down!

[EmeraldWind]

Well, I just discovered my megaproject is entirely off by 1 square tile in each direction.
Unfortunately, i learned soon after that doing mass deconstructions on a multi-level above-ground progect is a terrible idea.
Then I learned that children have soft heads.
Then I learned that if 2 tons of microcline falls on you, you gonna suffocate.
Finally, I learned that adamantine greaves were possibly my best investment ever. (turns out a legendary swordsdwarf was in the area, but fortunately, his adamantine greaves absorbed the entire impact. 

And that kids is how shock absorbers were invented.

[Axemurderer]

Urist McFishcleaner was possessed. So this being my first working fortress, I was confused on what to do about it. So I let him go about his business. Everyone else just worked, but he stood still in the dining area. Still being hopeful that he'd get over the possession. And he did, by getting insane and going berserk. Punching another dwarf to death. I know nothing about the military, but some how managed to form a squad. It contained only one dwarf, my woodcutter. He ran to the dining room and hacked the fishcleaners arm off. It was a brief battle which ended on fishcleaner death by bleeding. A burial was held. After that, I did some digging on the wiki and found out that the possessed/moody dwarf could have made an artifact. 

[Dustylou2]

It's the first ambush of this fortress. There are about 5 spear goblins and 1 hammer goblin. My two military dwarves are both covered in full steel (mail shirts AND breastplates, both exceptional or masterwork, with all the fixings), and are Great or better Swordsdwarves. I figure that they can take them. After all, spears can't really do much to them, can they?

One goblin loses his legs before both of the dwarves are on the ground, crippled with shattered legs because of silver warhammer man. Then they both get pummelled to dust by the remaining enemies. Wonderful.

[Xheia]

Sorry this is a little out of place: In adventure mode, I realized that I could press "service" more than once to get more quests. Before, I thought that only nobles in keeps could give you quests, and one at a time (after the villagers started directing to leaders).

Now I have 3 pages of quests.

[Eoganachta]

After a long day of dumping body parts before they reannimate and try to strangle you I like to...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Eoganacta cancels Drink, throwing Tantrum!

[jasonwill2]

I had an awesome fort spot going from a brook to the top of a volcano that had two peaks, a part full of lava and another not. I planned to make a bridge from the lava peak to the non-lava peak then pump water down the non-lava peak into a semi artificial waterfall and stream.

Anyway my previous fort died to sneaky zombies, so I had everything set. Eventually zombies did come... twice in big numbers. But before that I was low on food and booze, and pissed off my homeland caravan and they left. When the first zombie wave came I put up the bridge, but a lot of my dwarves were still running around like crazy. I think now it may of been the zombie that was near the wall on the mountain side of the little outdoor area around the Trade Depot.

Anyway eventually the shortage of food made a bunch of people die. Eventually my 4 man militia, all legendary by then, took on the hoards after my 35 dwarfs dwindled to 16 or so (I will get to that soon). We grew just enough food and I found some fish to live off of we had stored away. As well now owner-less pets could be eaten.

We just had to wait for a caravan to arrive... none ever did... never, for the year and a half it took my fort to fall.

When the first attack was warded off, it was with the help of several goblin ambushes, and we had all our axe lords still alive. Meanwhile in the fort a few more when crazy and we came down to about 10 people, two kids, my militia, and four food producers to feed everyone by working around the clock to keep everyone alive.

Then a full out siege of zombies happened, with more than before. One of our dwarves got stuck out as I tried to lure some over the bridge... he killed A LOT of zombies and ran off before dying. I gave him strict orders to stay put under the noble rooms we had planned on the non-lava peak of the mountain. We had earlier dug out a water resvior area for the waterfall there, and by accident you could get in diagonally. I knew of it, and thought it would be safe. Eventually I think he made a dash for the brook while I was working on tunneling to him to save him.

He got an honorary nickname.

At the second siege of zombies we had lost another axe lord to some accident, i forget what though, but we had then two axe lords left. we eventually during the wait lost another kid and two more food guys, but I didn't care, less mouths to feed and only really one food guy was doing most of the work.

The end was tough, I named the two after their deeds "Savior" and "Last" at the very end. Savior died couragously and by saving the fort in some daring way that I forget, and killed 30 zombies according to his record, with the 4 goblins in his time as well.

At the very end, just a woodcutter, a kid with a broken leg (an accident somehow), and "Last". Last killed a shit ton of zombies, but in the end when I let many zombies fully breech the base, the kid already was dead, and the woodcutter was just the last thing for Last.

Last stayed in the fort after a while, after he killed all those zombies... and ended the siege. In all, he killed 3 dwarfs in his time (mostly crazed ones),  a capybra, 1 legendary zombie, and 62 zombies of various species. I even gave him the job title: "Zombie Slayer".

But Last, as the Last dwarf of Mazework, wouldn't settle for his fate. After a half week to a week, he left... and flet into the Trampled Swamp, being the sole member now of The Lances of Slipping.

Oh, Last, where are you now? I never got my magma forges that were safely on the volcano top fired up, and so your militia was never armed... embark gear... yet you still were blessed. Or was your fate a curse?

Bronze cap, mail, chain legs, backpack, [boots and gauntlets maybe too?] waterskin and bronze battle axe... this was your gear, and with it, you survived. How dwarfy? That the Militia survived that long with sub-par gear...

I only ask this one question now: If I find him in the Trampled Swamp, can I recruit him? That would be epic. 

Also we reclaimed Mazework and all the frickin' ghosts knocked off someone's leg and scared a HORSE to death because I didn't get working on a nice tomb ASAP, I started making a new living area above the old one. I stole some beds from there and am going to just seal that place off to not deal with it, and attach to where the stair cases lead up to the old mountain peak and finish up the already dug out noble rooms and magma forges all ready to go. I don't want to spend an entire year cleaning up the mess from the fort that fell a few months ago.

Oh also I embarked with my 'battle group' set up, so no skills AT ALL other than military skills and I only took two picks in case I had to dig. Took food and drink too. I was expecting to need to kill something because apparently when I visited it in adventure mode the ghosts can kill you. I didn't know if it was an update and my new dwarves would be seen as "outsiders".

So many face palms with this fort, but much epicness. After I deal with all these ghosts I shall get to work on finishing the epic vision I had for the mountain. Hopefully this one won't spiral out of control and all common sense of people running around after two years again.

Man I love changing the pop cap to really low, migrant waves give me mre people JUST when I make enough living space, move the rocks, smooth it out, make furniture, then place it.

[Hanslanda]

So many face palms with this fort, but much epicness. After I deal with all these ghosts I shall get to work on finishing the epic vision I had for the mountain. Hopefully this one won't will spiral out of control and all common sense of people running around after two years again.

FTFY

[jasonwill2]

So many face palms with this fort, but much epicness. After I deal with all these ghosts I shall get to work on finishing the epic vision I had for the mountain. Hopefully this one won't will spiral out of control and all common sense of people running around after two years again.

FTFY

But the question is, did you like my epic tale?

[Edmus]

Less of a face palm more of a win.