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[rtg593]

Decided to try my hand at adventure mode. Go north, find a tomb. Pick the lock. Open the casket.

Oh. So that's why there's 30 corpses in this room.

Best part? Mummy raised my corpse, and it killed my companions :-D

[Garath]

practice on some wildlife first, like rabbits

[rtg593]

practice on some wildlife first, like rabbits

Ya, I'd fought some boars on the way in, just didn't click that the mummy would raise em:p

There wasn't a facepalm thread in that forum that I saw, by the way, which is why I stuck it in here :p

[HiEv]

OK, my last siege didn't go so well.  I won, but my military was cut in half (though they took out about three goblins/trolls for every dwarf that went down).

So, since I didn't have time to get a new military up in time for the next siege, I planned ahead and made sure I could wait out the next siege.  I built a couple of bridges across the river that cut my map in half (getting rid of the old floor across it that I was using), hooked 'em up to some levers, and made sure everything I needed was inside (sadly, I didn't have time to enclose my pastures either).

Anyways, the elves show up to trade, and shortly after they get inside "A Vile Force of Darkness Has Arrived!"  After the siegers all get on the map, they're over 100 strong (including mounts), which I could never have handled.  After wiping out all of my pastured animals, all of the siegers are on the opposite side of the river from me, except for the general's mounted squad.  So, seeing a good opportunity, I pull up the bridges, leaving only 16 mounted combatants on my side of the river.

The goblin general, mounted on his giant toad sits with his squad near the edge of the river for a while.  I come back a while later and the general is on the other side of the river somehow.  "Huh? ... Oh!  He's mounted on a giant toad!  That's probably how.  Hmmm... wouldn't it be funny if..."  The words were barely out of my mouth when the toad crossed halfway back across the river with the general astride it, and it stopped there.  In the middle of the river.  Underwater.

Yeah, the general of the army attacking me drowned in the river because of his stupid amphibious mount.  I've never facepalmed in joy before. 

[Garath]

the recruit that has been imprisoned is happier than his squad mates. Some people will do anything to escape military service...

[kiselomlqko]

A siege occurs; I decree that only soldiers can go outside.

Every plebe dwarf three squares from the entrance runs further outside and has their legs broken and dogs murdered by hammergoblins.

I guess if dwarves are already outside they don't think to run inside past all the cage traps they put in for just this purpose.

It is for this reason that I read 'Fisherdwarf' as 'Lone Victim'.

[Johuotar]

Overseer cancels play Dwarf Fortress, blinded by Microcline Trade Depot.

[Culise]

Embarked to a temperate area, high savagery, evil biome as maybe my third or fourth fort, no experience with military or siegeworks.  Hilarity enough, right?  Not according to my dwarves, because halfway through digging out a safe point to put everything underground before the first weather hits (which is what wrecked my first attempt at an evil embark), I suddenly get interrupted with a death message saying my (only) mason drowned.  Confused, I go back up to the surface and look over to my wagon...or where my wagon used to be.  Turns out that the dwarves parked the wagon right on a small frozen lake; the ice melted and dropped all of my supplies except one or two barrels and a roll of rope into the drink, along with my mason.

Since then, I've always checked where the wagon is parked first thing if it's winter. 

[Niccolo]

Made a little execution chamber for the resident vampire... it took me a while to find the bastard.

It was a self-triggering one, with a nice little lever for him to pull - 'cept I forgot to set the profile.

Yeeaaaah. Thankfully I caught it in time.

[WillowLuman]

Embarked to a temperate area, high savagery, evil biome as maybe my third or fourth fort, no experience with military or siegeworks.  Hilarity enough, right?  Not according to my dwarves, because halfway through digging out a safe point to put everything underground before the first weather hits (which is what wrecked my first attempt at an evil embark), I suddenly get interrupted with a death message saying my (only) mason drowned.  Confused, I go back up to the surface and look over to my wagon...or where my wagon used to be.  Turns out that the dwarves parked the wagon right on a small frozen lake; the ice melted and dropped all of my supplies except one or two barrels and a roll of rope into the drink, along with my mason.

Since then, I've always checked where the wagon is parked first thing if it's winter.

At this point it has to be agreed that Dwarves are in fact the worst drivers in the history of the universe.

[bukitodinos]

TURN LEFT DAMMIT!

NO I LIKE THIS LAKE THE ICE IS THICK ENOUGH!

NO IT IS NOT ITS GONNA MELT!!

NO!

YES!

*urist mcmason has drowned*

[Scruffy]

Well, atleast your cargo is safe from kobolds now. A dead mason, meh. Dwarves are a renewable resource and ment to be "used". (Unless it is a evil biome. Then they will be "reusable".)

[Garath]

TURN LEFT DAMMIT!

NO I LIKE THIS LAKE THE ICE IS THICK ENOUGH!

NO IT IS NOT ITS GONNA MELT!!

NO!

YES!

*urist mcmason has drowned*

Urist McSmartass siddles over

"is this a good time to tell you about traffic designations?"

[Splint]

Ready animal man killing room. forget that mothmen can fly.

facepalm and order nearby herbalist to kill it.

Not lifethreatening, but it was a pretty big facepalm, since the hole it got out of was a flop of a caravan tunnel.

[casper2222]

turns out i had an incoming goblin siege... i drafted all my dwarves into the military and equipped them... u would think the goblins were the threat... my first brave dwarf donned his steel armor and steel mace... and went beserk... i thought oh well... it wont be too bad wont it... the other dwarfs are equipping aswell... i had a population of 50 dwarfs... he slaughtered every single one of em... then the goblins came... poor goblins... none escaped... i will never look the same at a carpenter again...  *edit* afterwards the carpenter drowned...