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[Fenrisson]

yes, archers are over powered

I particularly like how elite archers shoot accurately through fortifications that are 10 tiles away. I was so baffled when I first saw they do that, I was certain that I had forgotten to build fortifications in the first place.

Also, @TSTwizby: your signature's a little off, the first line seems to be misquoted to Sabreur instead of simonthedwarf.

Well they can if they are skilled enough - so can your dwarfs... but yeah I hate that too. let em at least get a penalty and not ignore the defenses completely!


I dont care how good you are - 10 decent Marksdwarfs fully armored, with iron Bolts, behind fortifications one z-level up, firing down at a single (Master)-Bowgoblin. Falling one by one to the bastard, and whats even worse - u cannot help 'em because everybody going up into the fortifications is shot the instant he putting his head through the hatch...

Legolas the Goblin???

[rtg593]

First one: Temporary dirt fort, just finished the stone fort 60z lower, between the 2 cavern layers. I delete my meeting zone, add a meeting hall in my new legendary dining room. The moment everyone gets down there...

THE DEAD WALK.

The facepalm? I hadn't moved the lever yet. 60z to climb, and twice as far to walk to get around the cavern to the lever to lock up the fort. They made it in.

Second one: No military yet, only a dozen dwarves. THE DEAD WALK. Lock down the fort, start pumping out traps and whatnot to try and create a hall to kill them all off and reclaim the surface before the caravan arrives. After a minute, I realize, no FPS drop. Check the u-menu...

5 zombies. Total. <<Enemy facepalm.

I send out my 6 miners. They kill 2 one at a time. Then the other 3 mob mine one at a time. <<My facepalm.

[CandyOreVein]

Yeah miners are great fighters bait for FBs.

[Fenrisson]

Hm, I had a similar Problem - 19 Dwarfs (5 children) Fort not yet secured  - I was in a desert bionome an wanted to secure my food/booze supply. In general a Great site with Flux, Gold, Iron...


I m getting my defenses ready, complaining about the slow work of my masons, when the Message strikes - THE DEAD WALK -


I panic setting burrows, trying to wall off my entrance, when I realize its just ONE human zombie...
 
"No Problem" I say - sending my woodcutter, hunter and miners in for the kill... they have just reached the surface, when all of a sudden my refuse Stockpile comes to life - damn Necro

FACE PALM - my Fort is overrun by dead camels and ravens...

[Scruffy]

I was training my militia in danger rooms again and a few months later I noticed that my militia commander was throwing a tantrum. (luckily the angry hammerlord clad in steel didn't wander to the living quarters.) Naturally I checked what was going on and noticed something strange in the dangerrooms surrounding the one he was using.

They were filled with kitten blood and dead cats or atleast what remains of them. (and 3 bloody dwarves sparring atop the traps ) It turns out that the hammerlord (ironically named Catten Basementmurders, the ultimate depression of the angels) loved cats for their aloofness and had been adopted by 43 little furballs which had one by one followed him to the traps. Atleast it explains why there had been a pack of cats following my squads every now and then.

After that I learned my lesson and began making every door near the darn place tightly closed. (But on the plus side, he doesn't really care about anything anymore.)
Edit: And now he died a few years later at the ripe age of 163.

[karloss99]

I send my militia commander to kill a horse.
She has killed 5 enemies so far, including a kobold thief.

She did not take that kick to the head so good... 

oh well...

Hey Urist McUseless you have been promoted to militia commander. Congratulations!

(note - my fort is a reclaim and has a military of 1. That alone is a facepalm on own right.)

[Goodguy3]

Backed up my region to take a peek into legends mode. Messed it up and subsequently erased one legendary hero and at least a decade worth of history from Zillithur   . 

[Bartinyou]

I set my GCS to stand up on a wall and shoot web down upon the goblins so they could not run when their ambush failed.  Unfortunately I didn't realize it had webbed a few stonefall traps.  5 haulers in the hospital later, I have moved the GCS to a different part of the ramparts.

[arzzult]

I set my GCS to stand up on a wall and shoot web down upon the goblins so they could not run when their ambush failed.  Unfortunately I didn't realize it had webbed a few stonefall traps.  5 haulers in the hospital later, I have moved the GCS to a different part of the ramparts.

Hmm, that is actually be a good way to train doctors.

[EmeraldWind]

Okay, I gen a world. I look for an interesting dwarven civ with a normal monarch.

I find one and began scanning through legends with legends viewer and I find very interesting history.

A war with the elves. I embark with the sole goal of smothering the last city of elves in that civ. Almost every dwarf that comes to my civ has at least one elf on their kill list. A few have grizzly bears on their kill lists to boot.

I set up fortress and everything is okay for the first year. My first moody dwarf begins his construction after a single rock. But then I notice that I'm lacking in food due to the sudden super migration wave that I forgot to account for.

I send dwarves outside to hunt. There is a massive population of ravens in the area to kill off and one big old black bear.

That moment. CURSE ALL FRIENDS OF NATURE!

Oh shoot! Oh shoot! I forgot about them! And there are a bunch of dwarves outside. (Most of them are gathering wood.)

Just as I start to panic. Artifact is done. A gneiss mechanism, Mukarlir. Somewhat useful, what's the name mean?  "The Sad Climax"

DF just gave me its equivalent to a "screw you" didn't it? Either way, I managed to salvage the situation and caught a couple of the elves in cages. I also flipped one with the bridge, but he didn't even get a scratch. However, he hightailed it to the edge of the map afterwards.

"The Sad Climax" my hairy dwarf chin! This is only the first act, you tree-hugging hippies!

[Garath]

I set my GCS to stand up on a wall and shoot web down upon the goblins so they could not run when their ambush failed.  Unfortunately I didn't realize it had webbed a few stonefall traps.  5 haulers in the hospital later, I have moved the GCS to a different part of the ramparts.

I'm pretty sure webbed stonefall traps are going to be a permanent feature of the medical training system in DF now

[Sus]

Also, on my first ever fortress (I'm new) I forgot to build a farm.

Happens.

After learning to start with building the farms, I forgot to turn off cooking for plants --> seeds got destroyed --> ‼Fun‼ ensued. 
(This was before ver 0.34. I think cooking seed-bearing stuff is forbidden by default now.)

[JujuBubu]

Also, on my first ever fortress (I'm new) I forgot to build a farm.

Happens.

After learning to start with building the farms, I forgot to turn off cooking for plants --> seeds got destroyed --> ‼Fun‼ ensued. 
(This was before ver 0.34. I think cooking seed-bearing stuff is forbidden by default now.)

Nope It's still active at least for plump helmets.
As is Booze.

Ever cooked your whole booze stockpile without noticing ?

[KaraMong]

Just had a Fire-breathing FB sneak into my fortress and burn down over 40 dwarves plus the human caravan on the trade depot. All this because i forgot to seal the stairwell that leads to the caverns...

[Bartinyou]

In year 2 of my fort when I start setting up weapon traps with silver serrated discs (mainly for the wealth).  I was looking across the surface when I see some Giant Desert Scorpions.  I get super excited hoping they wonder into my cage traps.  Nope they beeline it towards the weapon traps and get torn to shreds.

These were the first GDS I have ever seen, 3rd or 4th fort on a savage desert biome.