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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2212969 times)

nightwhips

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5145 on: October 07, 2011, 01:33:16 am »

Pink text:

"Urist McUndergroundCheeseHauler has been shot and killed."

What? What the eff? How the...

Ah. Ballista practice. The dorfs decided to start using that corridor again. Also bruised a Bonesman's guts and lamed a different hauler.
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: Miner dwarves? In my volcano?

:I put childs into danger room...
They die, and their parents care nothing because legendary dining room.

Vehudur

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5146 on: October 07, 2011, 02:00:38 am »

Pink text:

"Urist McUndergroundCheeseHauler has been shot and killed."

What? What the eff? How the...

Ah. Ballista practice. The dorfs decided to start using that corridor again. Also bruised a Bonesman's guts and lamed a different hauler.

You'd probably die if you had a hole several inches in diameter punched through you too >.>
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Quote
...and a third died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.

I used to have an avatar, but I was told to remove it after it kept making people go insane.

Victuz

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5147 on: October 07, 2011, 07:09:32 am »

I finally set up a fully working obsidian farm without any annoying hot spots (that make the place inaccessible) with a good properly working way to get rid of water and all that fun stuff.
I get around 300 blocks of obsidian from it every time I use it. So I thought it's about time my masons started using ONLY obsidian for stuff. I set up proper burrows, proper stockpiles and all that, I knew that if you designate a burrow over a workshop than this workshop is tied to it and uses only the materials in that particular burrow (that's the theory). I gave a job order to produce 60 much needed doors, and went off doing my own thing while this order was being completed.
About an hour later I noticed that the order was completed and started placing doors.
They were all made out of microline... I hate microline

My master mason "accidentally" walked into the obsidian farm that day to find that all 60 microline doors were there AS WELL. Too bad SOMEONE pulled the lever. Oh well.
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I once flung a migrant off a bridge. He collided with the brook cliff and died.
A year later, my legendary engraver engraved him colliding with an obstacle and dying.

Malarauko

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5148 on: October 07, 2011, 10:20:14 am »

KingdomEarth finally has a smooth glass production going. I can now finish my high rise tower complex going down the centre of my fortress. The Elysian Heights Complex will feature two dining rooms, over fifty bedrooms, dedicated kitchens, plentiful food supplies, its own in built security measures, wide corridors and spacious hallways, glass windows allowing fantastic views of the canals and streets of KingdomEarth as well as a special viewing ports allowing unrestricted views of woodlands, caverns and stunning mountain scenes. As well as this the Complex contains its own workshops and resource stockpiles so in the event of isolation from the rest of the fortress life can go on! Basically its the last of my four big housing areas. Each one has fifty rooms and the Tower is probably my most spectacular to date. The other three are increasingly complex but the tower is my Opus Magnus. Its designed to operate as the central staircase as well as being a completely seperate building in its own right.
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Dwarf Fortress - Losing is fun.

blake77

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5149 on: October 07, 2011, 03:07:13 pm »

I finally set up a fully working obsidian farm without any annoying hot spots (that make the place inaccessible) with a good properly working way to get rid of water and all that fun stuff.
I get around 300 blocks of obsidian from it every time I use it. So I thought it's about time my masons started using ONLY obsidian for stuff. I set up proper burrows, proper stockpiles and all that, I knew that if you designate a burrow over a workshop than this workshop is tied to it and uses only the materials in that particular burrow (that's the theory). I gave a job order to produce 60 much needed doors, and went off doing my own thing while this order was being completed.
About an hour later I noticed that the order was completed and started placing doors.
They were all made out of microline... I hate microline

My master mason "accidentally" walked into the obsidian farm that day to find that all 60 microline doors were there AS WELL. Too bad SOMEONE pulled the lever. Oh well.


You are better off using the Stone menu under the status screen. Unfortunately for obsidian, there is a bug that makes it unlisted making impossible to switch from use and not use. There is a workaround posted here http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010_Talk:Obsidian
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Fahgo

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5150 on: October 08, 2011, 12:51:56 pm »

So a while back I set up a fort on top of a volcano in frozen tundra. There was also a cave within the embark. Before sealing off the cave I decided to deploy a Rover (read puppy) to see what was down there. Using the usual guidance method of meeting zones, the Rover travelled down through the cave until it reached the bottom... which was the 1st cavern layer. Rover was sent to explore the caverns until eventually an FB turned up and ended its exploration permanently.

I had decided to gen a few more worlds and start forts/adventurers, leaving the frozen volcano fort alone for a while (it was fairly boring. No goblin civ to siege me).

Sometime later I returned to the frozen volcano fort. During a project near the cave i though "Sod it. I'm going to open it up and seal it lower down. Keeps getting in the way". I had forgotten 2 things:
1: There was an FB lurking down there.
2: I hadn't removed the Rovers last meeting point.
So the wall gets mined and half my fort goes charging down there. At first I thought it was web auto collect orders so I switched that off. Nope. Then I see where they are all standing and remember the meeting zone. So I think problem solved. Then the first "Urist McAAAGH has bled to death" message arrives. FFFFFFFFUUUU! So I send my poorly trained and equipped militia to deal with it. Many dead dwarfs and 1 dead FB later I start to tidy up. Then: "Urist McPissedOff cancels doing stuff: Throwing Tantrum!”, "Urist McAlsoPissedOff cancels doing stuff: Throwing Tantrum!”, "Urist McTotalyPissedOff cancels doing stuff: Gone Berserk!” *Sigh*... time to set "construct rock coffin" to repeat.
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h.scorpio

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5151 on: October 08, 2011, 04:47:41 pm »

Quote
time to set "construct rock coffin" to repeat

Haha, you got it all wrong if you didn't have a workshop on repeat from the very start anyway :D
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Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5152 on: October 08, 2011, 06:04:03 pm »

3 whacks with a -copper pick- and it embeds in my smith's head and kills him.

Justice...
Picks are deadly weapons. Give your CotG's training weapons.
Or ranged weapons, if you want your Guard to be capable of guarding anything. They'll shoot enemies and bash criminals. Fatalities are probably still possible if the RNG hands out a critical hit on an unarmoured skull, but it's a good tradeoff between combat effectiveness and dwarven safety.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

Serrational

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5153 on: October 09, 2011, 03:58:56 am »

Playing Wizard Tower mod, and the overseer orders a man beaten. So, the guards take him to the jail, and kill him in three blows.

The facepalm? I forgot that in Wizard Tower they all have overkill magics firing out the wazoo...
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I figured the guy was a goner too when a noseless bat from hell flew right over the fortifications and attacked.

FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5154 on: October 09, 2011, 04:46:50 am »

Quote
time to set "construct rock coffin" to repeat

Haha, you got it all wrong if you didn't have a workshop on repeat from the very start anyway :D
Meh, my first mason-shop orders are for doors (R) and tables and chairs (for office and dining room.)
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A tiny, foul-tempered humanoid creature that dwells in the evil mountains. They are known to enjoy drinking liquor and will take any unguarded supplies of booze.

Muffindog

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5155 on: October 09, 2011, 01:50:48 pm »

Just had one. Started a new fortress on a haunted area of the map. Just got my first wave of immigrants and everything went fine. Then a friend messaged me on skype, and I minimized DF to reply. After typing a short message, I went back to dwarf fortress.

This is what I found.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The thirst icon is my last living miner. Oh well, time for a new fortress.
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nightwhips

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5156 on: October 10, 2011, 10:57:09 am »

So, after putting the finishing touche on my now drowning chamber/formerly flush trap, a seige shows up. Goodie! Well, I learned a lot and had some !FUN!. Trolls were the first ones into the chamber/hallway, and promptly ripped the floodgates out. Back to having a flush chamber, that didn't work! But it did! Several trolls walking back out over the one tile wide bridge were pushed off and into the river where they drowned. Sweet! But a whole clot of trolls got stuck, with some pathing issue, back in the chamber. So I send in my dwarves to kill them. This killed three of them when THEY FELL OFF THE BRIDGE BECAUSE OF THE ARMOK ****ED WATER. A short while later a CHILD did the same thing. So my flush trap worked. Sorta.

Interestingly, dwarves didn't seem to have much problem moving into the water. It was when they were going back out that they seemed more likely to slip and fall.
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: Miner dwarves? In my volcano?

:I put childs into danger room...
They die, and their parents care nothing because legendary dining room.

FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5157 on: October 10, 2011, 11:31:35 am »

Just had one. Started a new fortress on a haunted area of the map. Just got my first wave of immigrants and everything went fine. Then a friend messaged me on skype, and I minimized DF to reply. After typing a short message, I went back to dwarf fortress.

This is what I found.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The thirst icon is my last living miner. Oh well, time for a new fortress.
So, err, what happened? What are those d's next to the blue arrow? :P
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A tiny, foul-tempered humanoid creature that dwells in the evil mountains. They are known to enjoy drinking liquor and will take any unguarded supplies of booze.

Muffindog

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5158 on: October 10, 2011, 03:12:00 pm »

Just had one. Started a new fortress on a haunted area of the map. Just got my first wave of immigrants and everything went fine. Then a friend messaged me on skype, and I minimized DF to reply. After typing a short message, I went back to dwarf fortress.

This is what I found.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The thirst icon is my last living miner. Oh well, time for a new fortress.
So, err, what happened? What are those d's next to the blue arrow? :P

Just skeletal deer :D The dead d is my poor dog... The weirdest thing is that my woodcutter managed to fend off a pack of skeletal wolves, but the deer seem to instantly kill my dorfs.
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jc6036

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5159 on: October 10, 2011, 03:22:00 pm »

It's the hooves, man. I'll never forget that day, man, they were coming at up from behind the trees, our bullets just passin' right through them. *shudder* I still have nightmares, man.
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