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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2209402 times)

camza

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5055 on: September 23, 2011, 09:33:56 am »

Hmmm. My biggest facepalm moment would probably be during my first fort back in .40d. I had a brook cutting through my map and decided to dam it so I could redirect it through my fortress. I decided that the best way to do this would be lots of screw pumps powered by waterwheels pumping water into a walled off area.

This was my first time using both screw pumps and waterwheels so I started building them BEFORE I'd built the, uh, 'containment system'. Not knowing that screw pumps turn on as soon as a power source is attached. Fast forward 10 minutes and I'm noticing considerable lag. I scroll over to the pumps and see half my map has become an ocean being pumped from an infinite water source that's being powered by the very same brook.

And any dwarf that tried to disassemble it was washed away.

Facepalm.
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Samuel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5056 on: September 24, 2011, 12:57:03 am »

Inspired by an old sig somebody had, I just traded the Elves a bunch of lead goblets.
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ThatAussieGuy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5057 on: September 24, 2011, 05:20:00 am »

I just had my wheelhouse nearly finished and ready to divert the local brook through it to get some cheap power.  Then a gobbo siege hit and a horde of trolls went through and broke THEN ENTIRE SETUP.  This is why dwarves can't have nice things without the judicious use of magma.

Samuel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5058 on: September 24, 2011, 06:15:25 am »

Hmm, that post I made above this one was supposed to be in the What's Going On In Your Fort? thread.

Anyway, the latest facepalm is the realization that an entire team of hammerdwarves makes for pretty boring combat logs. Every kill is the skull being bashed through the brain and not a single limb has been severed. I'm going to upgrade to battleaxes (All the limb-chopping fun of swords combined with the bone-crushing power of hammers!) but I don't remember exactly how the game calculates axe effectiveness. Is silver a good axe material?
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Tiruin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5059 on: September 24, 2011, 07:16:00 am »

Hmm, that post I made above this one was supposed to be in the What's Going On In Your Fort? thread.

Anyway, the latest facepalm is the realization that an entire team of hammerdwarves makes for pretty boring combat logs. Every kill is the skull being bashed through the brain and not a single limb has been severed. I'm going to upgrade to battleaxes (All the limb-chopping fun of swords combined with the bone-crushing power of hammers!) but I don't remember exactly how the game calculates axe effectiveness. Is silver a good axe material?

Axes (and all bladed/pointed weapons) rely on the sharpness of the weapon, silver is a BAD material for bladed and pointed weapons. Silver is the BEST material for blunt weapons [your hammerdwarves]

Click Me

~~~

So here I go creating an above ground fort and walling off the perimeter with a drawbridge over the river as defense, my only passage in and out the fort. A siege arrives and I hastily pull the lever, nothing happens...

It seems that I had forgotten to link up the lever after creating it. There goes another well-done fort  :'(
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FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5060 on: September 24, 2011, 08:04:45 am »

Hmm, that post I made above this one was supposed to be in the What's Going On In Your Fort? thread.

Anyway, the latest facepalm is the realization that an entire team of hammerdwarves makes for pretty boring combat logs. Every kill is the skull being bashed through the brain and not a single limb has been severed. I'm going to upgrade to battleaxes (All the limb-chopping fun of swords combined with the bone-crushing power of hammers!) but I don't remember exactly how the game calculates axe effectiveness. Is silver a good axe material?
why not use hammers, axes, spears and swords in one squad?
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ThatAussieGuy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5061 on: September 24, 2011, 08:31:20 am »

Every year a goblin siege turns up on my doorstep.  Every year somehow about 50 of the 80+ dwarves happen to be outside when i lock the doors.  (if i don't, the others will wander out).  I honestly don't know what those sun-lovers find so fascinating outdoors as i've moved everything inside long ago.  I have a backlog of corpses to bury to rival my last fortress.  THAT one took decades to bury.

Shootandrun

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5062 on: September 24, 2011, 08:44:16 am »

Every year a goblin siege turns up on my doorstep.  Every year somehow about 50 of the 80+ dwarves happen to be outside when i lock the doors.  (if i don't, the others will wander out).  I honestly don't know what those sun-lovers find so fascinating outdoors as i've moved everything inside long ago.  I have a backlog of corpses to bury to rival my last fortress.  THAT one took decades to bury.

You have placed a meeting zone inside, right? Because the default meeting zone is at the wagon, and if you don't put any inside all your idlers will go there.
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FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5063 on: September 24, 2011, 08:47:16 am »

ARHAGIHAGAPDSOJA[SDHASUILDAS

Goblin Ambush. No biggie I thought. But my legendary leatherworker/marksdwarf didn't pay attention and didn't shoot the lasher approaching (no, he was shooting at a heavily bleeding, unconscious and practically dead pikegoblin instead) untill the lasher actually started lashing him. He dodged! And fell two levels. Died. The lasher then walked back a bit, dodged a weapon trap, fell the same distance and survived it.

Oh well, all the goblins except one piker in a cage are dead now. But still, dammit, I liked having a legendary leatherworker. :( Poor Sibrek Avalsakzul, the blind idiot. The goblin who killed him got stabbed in the head with a steel two hander.

Remarkably, this ambush saw more death on either side (some draltha childs, a puppy and two war dogs together with Sibrek on my side and all the goblins) than the one siege my fort has had. That involved only the death of the Goblin leader who was shot in the heart and bled to death while the entire force retreated.
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ThatAussieGuy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5064 on: September 24, 2011, 08:50:44 am »

Every year a goblin siege turns up on my doorstep.  Every year somehow about 50 of the 80+ dwarves happen to be outside when i lock the doors.  (if i don't, the others will wander out).  I honestly don't know what those sun-lovers find so fascinating outdoors as i've moved everything inside long ago.  I have a backlog of corpses to bury to rival my last fortress.  THAT one took decades to bury.

You have placed a meeting zone inside, right? Because the default meeting zone is at the wagon, and if you don't put any inside all your idlers will go there.

Yessss.... whoops.  Must've savescummed and forgotten to redo it. The wagon was dismantled years ago though

MonkeyHead

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5065 on: September 24, 2011, 10:48:41 am »

Bezerking High Master Mechanic after a failed mood. Forgot he was a Professional miner with a copper pick. Several dozen dead civilians later I checked the combat logs and ralized why my ragtag recruits hadnt taken him down yet.

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5066 on: September 24, 2011, 11:23:16 am »

Siiigh.  A Goblin siege got in past my security arch (up into a floorhatched room, then down again) because SOMEONE LEFT A *CENSORED*'ING SOCK IN THE WAY!  I'm going to have to savescum, but I'm letting the siege go rampant first as punishment.
« Last Edit: September 24, 2011, 11:32:40 am by ThatAussieGuy »
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FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5067 on: September 24, 2011, 02:10:43 pm »

GODDAMN FUCK SHIT COCKLECUNTS.


There had been an fb swimming about in my second cavern level but because it didn't seem to intend to go the shore I just left it. Then I suddenly noticed a dead engineer whose death I did not witness. The fb. It later killed another recruit and tore off an arm of my most succesfull melee militiadorf as of yet. Who cleaned himself with soap but refuses to go to hospital.

Also, a marksdwarf was kileld by a capybara man. :(
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Komra

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5068 on: September 24, 2011, 04:35:18 pm »

An FB walked through my entire fort an got killed by a single merchant with a whip. Who was on the TOP FLOOR, furthest from its entry point. it killed nobody on its entire journey. Lamest FB ever.
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Samuel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5069 on: September 24, 2011, 06:03:28 pm »

For all the animals I slaughtered and fat I rendered, I couldn't figure out why I couldn't make soap. I even started a quarry bush farm to produce oil instead.

It took a few in-game months and a crapload of dead livestock to realize I had completely forgotten lye.
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