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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2210076 times)

zehive

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4785 on: July 26, 2011, 06:55:21 pm »

I had been wondering for a while what made Aquafirs so annoying to people. I had settled a couple before and didn't seem to have much problem with them.

Then, I decided to try out a surface settlement and didn't bother to notice I was settling in an aquafir. When I arrive, I dig for a bit and realize I have no available stone. No biggie, I think, I'll just dig down to get some. But, *facepalm* it turns out the aquafir I had settled on filled every hole I dug with water, making it impossible to reach the stone.
thats what an aquifer is :P options are.. somehow drop a plug in, which im unsure how this is achievable as I've tried it and the soil just disappears, or hopefully it'll all freeze.

Rockphed

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4786 on: July 27, 2011, 12:20:03 am »

I had been wondering for a while what made Aquafirs so annoying to people. I had settled a couple before and didn't seem to have much problem with them.

Then, I decided to try out a surface settlement and didn't bother to notice I was settling in an aquafir. When I arrive, I dig for a bit and realize I have no available stone. No biggie, I think, I'll just dig down to get some. But, *facepalm* it turns out the aquafir I had settled on filled every hole I dug with water, making it impossible to reach the stone.

Aquifers typically exist on a specific range of z-levels.  If you can get beneath it, you can have all the stone you want.  If you want to get through and you have no stone, you can build pumps out of wood.  It is, however, much easier to punch through aquifers if the aquifer is in stone as smoothed stone doesn't drip.
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Only vaguely. Made of the same substance and put to the same use, but a bit like comparing a castle and a doublewide trailer.

Mount

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4787 on: July 28, 2011, 01:09:16 am »

In an early fortress, many moons (and revisions!) ago, I inadvertently settled in a Cold biome.  So cold, in fact, that the river only thawed for about 3 days at the height of 'summer.'  "No worries!" says me, "There's an underground river just north of my fortress!  I shall make a glorious aqueduct!"  Thanks to plentiful bushes, I was able to slow the inevitable doom-by-dehydration, but thanks to a bug in the barrel/drink mechanics (barrels wouldn't completely 'empty' and thus couldn't be reused) I had to deforest half the continent to do it. 

I dug a SIZEABLE cistern, I constructed a hanging aqueduct tunnel from the mountain face to the detached spire I was using as my fortress, and dug right up to the damp stone.  "WAIT!" says me, "I should build a failsafe to shut off the water!" and so I carved a 2x2 room right next to the 'maintenance entrance' to my aqueduct, and linked the lever therein to a floodgate deep in the aqueduct. 

I pierced the river, losing a miner to the fast-flowing water.. and then noticed that the maintenance hatch was hanging open.  As was the hatch above my cistern... which led into my fortress.   A goblin had picked both doors (jamming them open) and was in the process of snatching a lovely gemstone from my stockpiles.  Panicked, I sent a dwarf to pull the failsafe switch and stop the water -- just in time for the water to gush out the open emergency hatch, lethally encasing said dwarf in ice, and covering the failsafe room's entrance in a glacier.  The water then proceeded to fill my entire fortress from the cistern up, and flashfreezing a couple of dwarfs who'd been flushed out of the fortress into the overworld.  Only my woodcutter survived, but he went mad from grief and eventually succumbed to hunger, thirst and/or hypothermia.  And that's how I learned to set levers on external doors which aren't meant for frequent use.

The only bright spot is, the goblin tried to run out the way he came, and took his ill-gotten gem to a watery grave.

dr_random

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4788 on: July 28, 2011, 05:39:52 am »

Dear fellow dwarves,

ahh how jolly we were when the Elven caravan concluded their special sale offer to the goblin ambush party. Wood! Wood! We cried in joy and streamed out of the fortress to beat the greenskins into the muck and claim the riches.
It dint take long for Urist McPlunderfist to discover that all the dead elves had lovely socks on them. "Quick! Haul that unlucky bastard Urist Bytheriverstroller into his tomb and then get out the cart. We shall have a sock party tonight! Let's drink the booze from their socks till dawn!"
And all those buckets, cages and whatnot. Haul them in! Everything!
Well we should have thought about those elven toys skyrocketing our wealth when we took all the loot. Maybe we shouldn' have been that greedy?
Bah, our fort is strong and the gates hold firmly. I wonder why the marksdwarves do perform so poorly from the archer tower? And what's wrong with their steel mailshirts? Those goblins must be some crackshots. Retreat, RETREAT McBleeder - ah to hell with ... Now fire that darn ballista will you, you f**kin civilian! Damn greenskins seem to smell those traps. Shii*, we need another plan to get rid of them. Get the architect design some pumps and tubes for flooding the access ways. I want their socks as well. And would you please get the rotting babies out of the danger room - it's really disturbing, guys.
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karloss99

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4789 on: July 28, 2011, 04:06:45 pm »

My latest Embark.

Embarked to cave.
Cave was empty.
Got into caverns.
Started a base down there.
*while my 1 axedorf is busy drinking*
 UristMcMason Cancels Drink - interrupted by Giant cave spider.
 :o
...

My mason was lover to my axedorf... So... my miner was the fist to fall to tantrum. While making the coffin for the mason!!
*Soon*
My axedorf calms down... as the last dorf still alive.
sent her against everything caver layers 1&2 had to offer.
In the end she had 34 kills (counting 5 dorfs)
What took her down?

Thirst

/facedesk

Why?
Because If that GCS hadn't killed my mason i would have an awesome cave-fort...
oh well...

"Did you know that 9 out of every 10 embarkments end in complete disasters?"
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Niccolo

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4790 on: July 28, 2011, 06:50:16 pm »

"Did you know that 9 out of every 10 embarkments end in complete disasters?"

And the other one ends because the embark profile forgot to include anything useful.
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What's wrong with using magma? That's almost always the easiest method.
I have issues channeling it properly to do that method. I end up flooding the fortress with magma.
Check out my RtD!

Nighthawk

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4791 on: July 29, 2011, 12:10:58 am »

First artifact ever.

The Cooperation of Liberating - A chalk ring. Adorned with hanging rings of chalk. On the item is an image of rats in chalk.

*Facepalm*
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SmokedRWA

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4792 on: July 29, 2011, 12:55:58 am »

Since I edited crops to take longer to grow and yield less, I have been desperately trying to survive from caravan to caravan. Unfortunately for the last two years I was under siege and no caravan has come. When they finally do and bring all of the goods I ordered, I realize that at the time I had a relatively comfortable position as far as stocks went, and passed on ordering a lot of food. It was at this point that I realized that the only edible food left were about 16 tallow roasts with a rapidly dwindling supply of raw tallow for future cooking. I started to allow seeds that I had in abundance to be cooked to try to avert the situation.

And then that's when I saw the elephants grazing along the slopes of my volcano. This wasn't my first time noticing them, but I kept saying to myself that I need a hunter first (which I don't have). I realize that I can just send my regular military in instead... my food crisis has been averted now.
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Sir_Cuddles

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4793 on: July 29, 2011, 02:58:35 am »

Embark and find a cave on level 10. Seems clear enough only a few harmless creatures on the inside. carving out a base when mason is attack by a cave croc and gets killed 1 second before my axe, sword, and wrester dwarfs come to the rescue. Its sad, but I can get through it, I am sure there will be a mason in a migration. Fortress carved out and as I was just about to move my starting goods inside troglodytes everywhere, but no worries my three fighter dwarfs are really strong and can easily take them out. CHARGE! Suddenly right before they reach the troglodytes they all decide to fall asleep. The troglodytes (including 1 named one) run over and kill them in their sleep.

I didn't really facepalm because this is the third time my fighters have fallen asleep while entering battle so I just wrote it off as a fun way to lose early ;)
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Sangi

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4794 on: July 29, 2011, 01:19:22 pm »

The Cooperation of Liberating - A chalk ring. Adorned with hanging rings of chalk. On the item is an image of rats in chalk.

Its the Ring of Nihm. 
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jc6036

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4795 on: July 29, 2011, 01:21:08 pm »

Damn, nihm. . . . .I cant put my finger on it but it sounds familiar. What is this "nihm"
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Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4796 on: July 29, 2011, 08:49:43 pm »

Nimh?
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

Vile Ampersand

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4798 on: July 30, 2011, 12:40:38 am »

I knock an entire migrant wave over a 12z level drop into the crocodile infested waters as a tribute to Armok. The animal trainer learns how to swim on the spot and, biting, clawing, and scratching large scaly reptiles, killing two of the horde, swims into the underground flooded chamber where sed reptiles get cage trapped, emerges after swimming vertically 8 Z levels into the bowels of the fort and, after seeing everyone he knew and loved die, let loose a fell roar, upon the announcement of which, I started to worry. How bad can it be? He kills some peasant nobody makes a leather item what ever it's all good, wait what?! My legendary metal crafter?! Oh...Oh... I was so angry that I sealed off the entire fortress and began to flood it at the same time as I let the crocs in. Ha. Take that you stupid dwarves.
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Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4799 on: July 30, 2011, 06:19:50 am »

What a badass. That dwarf earned a place in your fortress.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.
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