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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2210781 times)

Monk321654

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4605 on: June 13, 2011, 06:33:29 pm »

So many accidents involving Miner training.
I would designate a soil cliff to be cut away. Then, I didn't like the overhang, so I'd set it to be channeled out.
Almost always ended up with a dead Dwarf.
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

MrAnderson

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4606 on: June 14, 2011, 01:59:54 pm »

just had one.
to prevent catsplosion, i designated a pit over a river and threw 2 cats down the river. 1 drowned eventually, the other one lived a full year with 2 paws missing, loosing a lot of blood and pus according to the painted walls on the side of the river in the water without moving away. then the next winter: freeze and insta-thaw in the same moment, cat dead.
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Root Infinity

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4607 on: June 14, 2011, 04:06:43 pm »

"Whadda you mean; lignite isn't magma-safe?"

There goes that section of my constructions.

(The bridge deconstructed and let magma mix with the water prematurely in the obsidian cast)
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Cerol Lenslens

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4608 on: June 15, 2011, 07:40:24 am »

I found out that dead elephants can be much more troublesome than live ones.

My current fort is a savannah volcanic island - lots of elephants, rhinoceri, and so on. Nothing but salt water around, and I'd put a water purification plant on the back burner when the farms began pumping out enough plump helmets to keep booze plentiful. I'd laid out a line of cage traps near one of the borders so I could start building a zoo of death for my own amusement, and caught a whole herd of elephants. I'd been nearly starved at that point due to migrants and forgetting to update the new farms as the season changed, and discovered that my elephants were too heavy for the merchants to accept, and would starve to death if I tamed them, so I butchered something like six of them. I thought my extensive new food stockpile could handle it.

I thought wrong.

I blithely went off to supervise the massive gem-mining project I had going, and wasn't paying attention until I started receiving the "Urist McImportantWorker has dropped dead of thirst!" messages.

"Bwuh?" I responded intelligently. "But I've got Urist McBrewer queued up to the gills with jobs! Did he cancel them for some stupid reason? Oh yeah, I turned off job cancel spam because people kept trying to haul missing items for some reason. He probably just ran out of barrels. I'll just queue up another full batch of barrels, and requeue up the brewing, and things should be fine!"

Another dead dwarf later, and I went back. "I know those barrels were made! The wood stockpile is being refilled as I speak. Why isn't McBrewer Brewing? Maybe a dwarf just drank all the booze? I'll check the stockpile for empty barr- Oh. My. Armok."  :o

It was a veritable explosion of Elephant Tallow. They were hip deep in the stuff. All the barrels were being repurposed to store Elephant Tallow, and my dwarves were snatching them away before McBrewer could claim one, so he'd cancel all of the jobs in a huff. I tried another full queue of barrels, but it didn't even make a dent. I decided to clear some room by queueing the kitchen with umpteen lavish meal requests, figuring that'd open up some stockpile space. It was only when I saw the masterpiece roast announcement that I checked the kitchen, noticed that the stockpile was still full, and looked in the kitchen. It was cluttered with about three pages of Elephant Tallow that had never made it to the full-up stockpile after the fat-rendering process! The cook wasn't even bothering to look at the stockpile, because he was blithely just cooking Elephant Tallow Roasts all day long with the stuff slathered liberally over the kitchen.

 By the time I got a new stockpile dug out, an additional carpenter workshop online, and the carpenters and brewer to stop chasing evaporating puddles for drinkable moisture, a third of the fortress had died.

At least Babar can rest easy, knowing he got his revenge.
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Endiqua

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4609 on: June 15, 2011, 08:22:46 am »

Nice post! 

Rock pots, man....rock pots.   :D

Quote
because he was blithely just cooking Elephant Tallow Roasts all day long with the stuff slathered liberally over the kitchen.

What an image.
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zwei

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4610 on: June 15, 2011, 09:43:42 am »

Nice post! 

Rock pots, man....rock pots.   :D

Quote
because he was blithely just cooking Elephant Tallow Roasts all day long with the stuff slathered liberally over the kitchen.

What an image.

Just ... set reserve barrels in stoc'p'ile menu to 5 or so.

Ipwnurmom221

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4611 on: June 15, 2011, 10:40:50 am »

<other crap> Then I realized: I embarked without cats!

This is a good thing. Facepalmed over how awesome your lack of cats is? If you have more than one, you're just asking for a lag-inducing catsplosion
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Monk321654

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4612 on: June 15, 2011, 03:02:38 pm »

My recent fortress drowned. It was terrible.
I was making a farm, and decided I'd get water from the brook. Installed a flood gate, and a door. Opened the brook, and water rushes in. Due to an accident, and bad response, the lever was pulled late, resulting in the farm being flooded to 3 and 4 depth water. I decided to try and pump the water out. I dug a separate tunnel leading from the farm to the surface, and I had supplies for pumps made. Installed one pump, and realized that the dwarf who finished it was trapped inside. After that, I gave up, and flooded the fortress. A Miner, Weaponsmith, and Craftsdwarf managed to survive the flooding by hiding in the storage room. I ordered them to break down the door, and they did. Everyone died except that wood cutter, who broke down the pump and ran outside.
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

EmeraldWind

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4613 on: June 15, 2011, 04:22:32 pm »

One of my military dwarves earned himself the title, "the Bite of Enjoyment."  ::)

He's one of the 5 that tried to bite the Bronze Colossus we fought... so I guess it actually fits.
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Manic Typist

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4614 on: June 15, 2011, 10:01:10 pm »

Sending out soldiers to fight goblins (or any enemy, really)....armed with training weapons instead of their normal steel weapons.

Again.

*facepalm*
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Aspgren

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4615 on: June 16, 2011, 07:58:35 am »

Footman Kogan made me chuckle and facepalm a while ago.

 Watching the soldiers gather for an expedition underground, I looked through their backpacks and such just for fun. It seemed everyone had packed cheese, bisquits and wine :) they were all in good spirits .. except Kogan. he had two Chars for lunch and he had 10 units of water and 2 units of wine in his waterskin.
 and he was both hungry and thirsty too.
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Evaristo Carriego

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4616 on: June 16, 2011, 01:13:05 pm »

I dug a 71-levels-deep hole to draw water from an aquatic cave level, the only source of water in the whole map. It's right next to a very busy staircase that leads to my farms.

Every harvest season is like a fortress-wide game of Dwarven roulette.
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Monk321654

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4617 on: June 16, 2011, 02:28:25 pm »

Just built this super complicated pump system to move water out of the farm area in case it flooded, with a windmill on top.
Power Available: 40 Power Needed: 65.
FUUUUUUUU!
So I had to dig a super intricate system of stairways and operate every pump manually.
Ugh.
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

Root Infinity

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4618 on: June 16, 2011, 06:00:38 pm »

Just built this super complicated pump system to move water out of the farm area in case it flooded, with a windmill on top.
Power Available: 40 Power Needed: 65.
FUUUUUUUU!
So I had to dig a super intricate system of stairways and operate every pump manually.
Ugh.
Why didn't you just build two mechanisms and an axle between them with two windmills on top, like this?
Code: [Select]
|  |
O  O
|  |
z+1
Code: [Select]

*==*

z
Code: [Select]
XXXXX
X_%>~
XXXXX
z-1
Legend:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

EDIT: Magma =/= water
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darthbob88

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4619 on: June 16, 2011, 06:02:38 pm »

Just built this super complicated pump system to move water out of the farm area in case it flooded, with a windmill on top.
Power Available: 40 Power Needed: 65.
FUUUUUUUU!
So I had to dig a super intricate system of stairways and operate every pump manually.
Ugh.
Could you not have expanded the power supply to include a second windmill? Or possibly a third in view of power lost to gear assemblies? I had a similar almost-problem with my magma pump stack; I was using the mini-reactor, rated for 80 urists of power, and constructed a stack which should have taken about 60, including line losses. Got everything hooked up, checked the system, and saw that it would need 81 urists; freaked out for a moment, because I had built my reactor such that it couldn't easily be expanded, meaning I'd have to either rebuild it, or tack another reactor on just for that last single urist of power. Fortunately, after I got the reactor going, I realized that I'd miscalculated all the power consumed by the system relative to the power produced, and it did and does work.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Edit: Ninja'd!
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