Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[RTiger]

Face palm, but on a good way.

I got a FB message. It was a leech with deadly dust. I already knew that this was going to be FUN, looking at it. Not long after it appeared, it moved closer to where I had sealed the cavern breech. There was a small camp of cave swallow men there.

FB vs 5 Cave swallow man

FB got in close, and the birds started with blowguns and nether cap darts. When the beast got close, it unleashed that dust attack, filling pretty much the entire screen with dust and blocking vision. The facepalm came when the dust cleared. The FB looked like it had been thrown aside and was dead. More then that, none of the birds had been wounded.

All this happened in a single day.

[EveryZig]

Inspired by the story of battlefailed, I embarked on a terrifying desert next to a terrifying ocean. I had heard that undead were much weaker in recent versions, and have also seen that in the hands of skilled dwarfs a pickaxe is a very good weapon (slightly better than a battleaxe (at least against dwarfs)). I found out that being a proficient miner is not that useful if your dwarves lack any other combat skills. And that skeletal camels are still crazy tough.

[SlimyMarmot]

I was just doing a test on a kind of magma weapon, and it being successful I order the gearbox lever to be pulled. What happens? A fucking horse comes out of nowhere, runs straight into my fort, murders one of the starting seven who was going to pull the lever and scares everyone off. Now I'm being flooded with magma and my military is chasing that little shit round and round. Then an elven caravan arrives... this conspiracy will burn, literally.

[Sarda]

Shame you didn't unleash the HFS as you did that.

[Serrational]

Soo.. a horse came out of nowhere and kicked the hell out of a dwarf?
And you were surprised at the disguised malevolence of this game?
Well, if it involves elf-burning, then it can't be ALL bad...

[FrisianDude]

My first death was due to my channeling not being careful enough; a miner fell a bit farther than was healthy, broke in bits, and eventually suffocated because he couldn't breathe anymore. Guy got two statues, a slab, a coffin and his grave-room has a masterwork marble door. A bit later my expedition leader fell in a similar occurrence and broke his leg. Two facepalms.

LUCKILY this man is a hero and he's gone back to mining. With a broken leg. And a fish dissector who got wounded due to an Elk bird is walking around doing whatever job she finds despite her health screen saying she lost her ability to stand. Two niceties. Edit; add one minor facepalm; the expedition leader is going to hospital anyway but he didn't do so before BECAUSE HE COULDN'T LEAVE WHAT HE'D FALLEN INTO.

And a 'glazer' turned secretive! I don't even have a glas furnace or a kiln or whatever they use yet. Facepalm. D: Glass furnace (and kiln) built and taken over. The glazer wants glass. I don't even have sand. Hopefully, not likely, the Dwarf caravan arrives soon and with some sand.

[UnrealJake]

eventually suffocated because he couldn't breathe anymore.

Yup, that sounds like suffocation to me!

[FrisianDude]

Heh, yes, I wanted to explain his death.

Anyway; the glazer has gone stark raving mad. I'd walled him in but forgot to lock the door.

[Vorthon]

Heh, yes, I wanted to explain his death.

Anyway; the glazer has gone stark raving mad. I'd walled him in but forgot to lock the door.

Dwarves that goes stark raving mad are harmless. It's the berserk ones you've got to worry about. Stark raving mad dwarves just run around naked, babbling like idiots.

[palsch]

Dwarves that goes stark raving mad are harmless. It's the berserk ones you've got to worry about. Stark raving mad dwarves just run around naked, babbling like idiots.

And not doing anything else.

You know, just to distinguish them from every other dwarf in a mature fortress.

[Fahgo]

A facepalm not for the stupidity of my dwarves this time. not me doing something daft (well, a little but it did no harm). no, this facepalm goes out to the most pathetic dragon attack i've ever seen:

so i get the usual "a Dragon Has Come! WE'RE ALL DOOOOMED!" message. i think "hmmm... traps should get him. but the traders will probably leave at the wrong time and get slaughterd. better close the gate". i order the lever pulled... and nothing. forgot to re-attach it to the drawbridge (minor facepalm). set that order going, saw the dragon was about to walk onto the traps. so, to be safe, i was about to order one of my squads to the front door. dragon had stepped on the first trap and died. thinking that was a bit quick i checked the battle log:
"Spinning *menace copper spike* strikes The Dragon in the head, tearing the muscle, chipping the skull and tearing the brain!"
"A tendon in the skull has been torn!"
"The Dragon has been knocked unconcious!"
that was it. first trap, 1 hit, dead. even the goblins last longer than that! i expected it to at least suffer some horrible wounds first. 

[FrisianDude]

Dwarves that goes stark raving mad are harmless. It's the berserk ones you've got to worry about. Stark raving mad dwarves just run around naked, babbling like idiots.

I know, but if he'd gone Berserk I'd at least could have had my militia dice him. Now I ended up locking him in a room which turned out to be his own.

I'm doing a new fort again now, though, I like starting over.

[Musashi]

Barely-pubescent mayor wants billon items. By the time I get around to meet her mandate, I'm actually one day too late, and my butcher is jailed. When he gets out, he dies of dehydration. Alright, fair game, I guess. Even though she demanded a billon table in his office at the same time, and I think a second season in a 100-dorfs fort is way too early for such demands, but hey, it's challenging, right?
Mayor then prohibits export of iron items. No worry, I haven't found a single ore of iron on the map yet, and I never export that anyway. A caravan comes, I trade tons of crafts for stuff, the usual deal.
The merchants pack up their new stuff. The mayor switches the iron ban for a crown ban. The merchants leave the map with the many crafts. Suddenly, 3 random dorfs are owed a beating*, and 4 others are jailed. One of them is a soldier.
And I'm sure she's doing it on purpose.
I fucking hate teenagers.
One more evil mandate. One more. And I release wild badgers in her dining room. And yaks. Badgers and yaks.


EDIT: she was eaten by a Forgotten Beast on fighting duties. I may or may not have had anything to do with the decision to put her shooting skills to good use and enroll her.



*they survived because I'm savvy enough to assign marksdwarfs with wooden crossbows to the post of captain of the guard. Two still ended up at the hospital, with a risk of sudden deadly infection.

[Devling]

Barely-pubescent mayor wants billon items. By the time I get around to meet his mandate, I'm actually one day too late, and my butcher is jailed. When he gets out, he dies of dehydration. Alright, fair game, I guess. Even though he demanded a billon table in his office at the same time, and I think a second season in a 100-dorfs fort is way too early for such demands, but hey, it's challenging, right?
Mayor then prohibits export of iron items. No worry, I haven't found a single ore of iron on the map yet, and I never export that anyway. A caravan comes, I trade tons of crafts for stuff, the usual deal.
The merchants pack up their new stuff. The mayor switches the iron ban for a crown ban. The merchants leave the map with the many crafts. Suddenly, 3 random dorfs are owed a beating*, and 4 others are jailed. One of them is a soldier.
And I'm sure he's doing it on purpose.
I fucking hate teenagers.
One more evil mandate. One more. And I release wild badgers in his dining room. And yaks. Badgers and yaks.



*they survived because I'm savvy enough to assign marksdwarfs with wooden crossbows to the post of captain of the guard. Two still ended up at the hospital, with a risk of sudden deadly infection.

You're doing the right thing...

[FrisianDude]

I started a new fort again yesterday evening and kinda forgot how dangerous it is to channel three levels in one go. Both my miners in an 11-dorf fortress are now hospitalized. 


The miner is infected, the expedition leader got back on his feet and at work and he promptly caused his return to hospital again.

By falling in the same way. I suck with moats.

Meanwhile my legendary engraver has engraved the dining room and two thirds of the living quarters.