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[Grendus]

Just embarked without an axe or metal to forge one. I have 3 logs total until I can strike some ore.

At least I have 5 mining picks. Shouldn't take... too long.

[Flaming Monkey]

I turned all my food stuffs into drink stuff.  Then flooded my fort in frustration.  After thinking back I could have just slaughtered the hundreds of puppies in the butcher's cage to save my fort.

A facepalm moment indeed.

[Time Kitten]

Or perhaps cooked some of that drink stuff back into food.

[Deon]

Or perhaps cooked some of that drink stuff back into food.

This.
You, sir, deserve a hundred of facepalms.

[Fist_Of_Armok]

I both love and hate some of my old fortresses, because I was not and still am not terribly good at design.

I usually have to settle for carpeting the ground in traps.

[Untelligent]

The humans have been besieging my fortress for so long that their horse mounts have given birth. I now have hostile horse foals running around outside.

This happened to me once, except

1) They were ambushers from another (modded) race that got stuck on the map because by stroke of luck I had been de-ramping my mountain at the time.

2) The foals revealed the ambushers, and the ambushers beat the crap out of the foals.

[Aaaamory]

I just had a facepalm moment just now.  My dwarves were ignoring my Collect Sand order until I realized that I had to designate a zone over some sand.  And I have collected sand a million times before.

[SquirrelWizard]

While cleaning out the magma drain, for quicker draining I get a message "Urist McMiner has been caught in a web." I start to get my two squads of marksdwarves to mobilize, meanwhile trying to figure out if it would be possible to trap a giant cave spider.

then I have a moment of realization. these spider webs were in the output of my magma drain. A quick perusal of the unit list showed 2 giant cave spiders, deceased, one still burning somewhere.

/facepalm

false alarm...

[darkflagrance]

Wanted to show my friend the effects of magma. So, I look for a goblin to throw in. Pick a goblin thief. Assigned him to be hauled there from his cage before I realized what I had just done.

*First Facepalm*

OK, fine. I'll pick something sweet, innocent, and most importantly defenseless. Like a puppy.

I throw the puppy in the magma pipe, and...nothing happens. The puppy sits there flashing question marks. My friend is not only disturbed but now saying that this is karma.

I continue with my game. An hour later I get the message that the puppy has suddenly burned to death. 2 and 2 come together, and I realize that I had turned temperature off, and the puppy had instead been incinerated by a fire imp.

*2nd Facepalm*

[Neruz]

My personal favorite was when one of the new immigrants i'd recently trained to champion wrestling just arbitrarily decided to go outside and jump in the magma pipe. And not die from it.

He was down there for three years killing imps, fire men, magma men and magma fiends (modded critter) before i finally noticed, checked and temperature was on, wondered if maybe my dwarves had bugged out and i'd accidentally made them magma immune or something. So i rigged up a system to make myself an under-magma fortress! Awesome right?

Turns out that magma immunity was a bug unique only to that single dwarf. He also appears to require no food and sleep, so he chilled down there for another few years before some more immigrants came and i started trying to rebuild (now with a good portion of the mountain flooded with magma, which was oozing all over one of the lower plains.


And then, following a seam of gold, i accidentally breached the old fort with my new fort...

[Luraien]

The other day one of my favourite jewelers ended up fighting a berserk dwarf, he took some heavy injuries but none he couldn't sleep off. Seasons passed and eventually he got better, I watched him raise out of his bed for the first time and head towards the door. Just as he was leaving, a child who also turned berserk after not having the right materials for crafting, entered the room and attacked him. A few dogs tore chunks off the kid and obviously it bled to death, but I can just imagine the jewelers reaction.

"Ah finally I'm well enough to start working again OH WHAT THE F-"

[shadowclasper]

I have a fantastic water fall in my fortress, so fantastic that I decided to a) Build my throne room so it's back is onto it and gets filled with mist, and b) that I decided to build a floor out over the water to see if I could make an freaking awesome open air statue garden/meeting place/zoo with a WELL. It'd have been awesome.

I lost 4 dwarves in the attempt as ravenening carp and longnose gar grabbed their beards and pulled them under. I lost another one who was stupid enough to try and go and fish their corpses out of the water since they were RIGHT on the edge. I forbid everything on them and walled off all access to that section of the river. Also put vertical iron bars between the throne room and the actual water fall. Not going to let my first baron/count/duke/king whatever fall out of his own chair because a CARP attacked him.

[Atarlost]

Just drain the river at the source and watch all the carp air-drown. 

[shadowclasper]

I'm trying that... but the question becomes, Where too? Do I make big ol' pipes and aqueducts to the other second (lower) water fall? or what?

[ArkDelgato]

My personal favorite was when one of the new immigrants i'd recently trained to champion wrestling just arbitrarily decided to go outside and jump in the magma pipe. And not die from it.

He was down there for three years killing imps, fire men, magma men and magma fiends (modded critter) before i finally noticed, checked and temperature was on, wondered if maybe my dwarves had bugged out and i'd accidentally made them magma immune or something. So i rigged up a system to make myself an under-magma fortress! Awesome right?

Turns out that magma immunity was a bug unique only to that single dwarf. He also appears to require no food and sleep, so he chilled down there for another few years before some more immigrants came and i started trying to rebuild (now with a good portion of the mountain flooded with magma, which was oozing all over one of the lower plains.


And then, following a seam of gold, i accidentally breached the old fort with my new fort...

This is madly bad-ass.
Perhaps he wasn't immune to magma, he was just making millions of perfect heat-evasion savings checks.
While swimming in magma and killing magma beasts.
Swimming in molten rock.

Get this dwarf a medal or some fucking golden teeth.