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[FritzPL]

My Engraver dodging from Crundle into wall.

She gently exploded after taking all power of impact on every single part of her body.

[Serrational]

....Might there have been a drop BETWEEN THE WALL AND THE DWARF? Hm?

On the facepalm side though, my "Let's build a noble-disposer over the waterfall. Ah, let's test it. Oh dear Armok, get the kids off of the *splat*!" Tantrum spiral wasn't too intelligent either...

[Cotes]

....Might there have been a drop BETWEEN THE WALL AND THE DWARF? Hm?

On the facepalm side though, my "Let's build a noble-disposer over the waterfall. Ah, let's test it. Oh dear Armok, get the kids off of the *splat*!" Tantrum spiral wasn't too intelligent either...

I swear those little bastards can sense impending doom an have an instinct to run right at it.

Then again, my fortress seems to worship the god of suicide.

[TolyK]

Try giving your captain of the guard a training weapon.

Thanks for the advice. There were a whole bunch of guys with disorderly conduct charges, and the new captain decided they should take their beating before he swapt his bronze axe for the wooden one.

They're all dead now.

i like to keep captains in limbo when that happens - assign one and lock him in his room for a bit (don't forget about him!) while the usual trades weapons. then assign back and free old one.

now: try savescuming?

I don't savescum. Especially when whatever went wrong is funny.

neither do i. unless of course my brother comes on and wrecks the shit out of my fort

[Ibid Straydrink]

My Engraver dodging from Crundle into wall.

She gently exploded after taking all power of impact on every single part of her body.

This is probably the greatest thing I have ever heard of happening in this game.

[Samuel]

You can make a wood furnace out of ice! But if its inside, it'll melt, because its too warm. 

[Excedion]

If you caught it, what will you do with it?

Going to build a labyrinth in the bottom of my fort to dump annoying migrants. using a system of flood gates and levers hopefully i can keep him in. If goblins appear then ill use them but i have yet to see any goblins or humans on this map

[Musashi]

My Engraver dodging from Crundle into wall.

She gently exploded after taking all power of impact on every single part of her body.

I ROFL'd.
For real.

[Flying Dice]

I recently found out that the upright cotton candy stick hidden in certain maps shows up on the screen for linking upright spears to levers...

[Genoraven]

I recently found out that the upright cotton candy stick hidden in certain maps shows up on the screen for linking upright spears to levers...

Stop that. No more clown references.

[twwolfe]

I recently found out that the upright cotton candy stick hidden in certain maps shows up on the screen for linking upright spears to levers...

Stop that. No more clown references.

Bit late for that, old chap. clownite has entered the DF lexicon, and it has stuck

[antymattar]

Phoenixuk, it is stories like yours that make me think that Dwarf Fortress is actually triple-distilled cruelty absorbed transdermally through our fingertips whenever we play. It simultaneously inspires and terrifies me. I feel very sorry for any goblinoid alien race that attempts to attack Earth, knowing that there may be DF players in strategic positions worldwide.

sigged! 
... or maybe not(damn 500 letter space.)

[Haspen]

Phoenixuk, it is stories like yours that make me think that Dwarf Fortress is actually triple-distilled cruelty absorbed transdermally through our fingertips whenever we play. It simultaneously inspires and terrifies me. I feel very sorry for any goblinoid alien race that attempts to attack Earth, knowing that there may be DF players in strategic positions worldwide.

sigged! 
... or maybe not(damn 500 letter space.)

Erase date and link code from quote, saves around 50 letters.

[Cotes]

Marksdwarves. These goddamn assholes. They have exactly two modes:
A) "My quiver is empty, guess I'll just fuck around the front lines for a week anyway"
B) "Hmm, a crucial high priority military operation and my post is twenty yards away. Oh whoops, I'm missing like two bolts, better go back to the armory, it's only a mile walk"
-->
"Ahaha, whoops. I took only one arrow, I was missing two! Good thing I only walked half way to my post!"

Point A just killed nearly half my archers. I had neatly positioned them at the end of a hallway after an FB with poisonous vapors had camped behind a door on the other side of it. You know, so that they could fire a volley of death before it got close. Instead the morons had no ammunition (which I have in the hundreds, none assigned to hunters or other squads) and ran right at it. Guess how that worked out?

[Valguris]

Marksdwarves. These goddamn assholes. They have exactly two modes:
A) "My quiver is empty, guess I'll just fuck around the front lines for a week anyway"
B) "Hmm, a crucial high priority military operation and my post is twenty yards away. Oh whoops, I'm missing like two bolts, better go back to the armory, it's only a mile walk"
-->
"Ahaha, whoops. I took only one arrow, I was missing two! Good thing I only walked half way to my post!"

Point A just killed nearly half my archers. I had neatly positioned them at the end of a hallway after an FB with poisonous vapors had camped behind a door on the other side of it. You know, so that they could fire a volley of death before it got close. Instead the morons had no ammunition (which I have in the hundreds, none assigned to hunters or other squads) and ran right at it. Guess how that worked out?

How many bolts have you assigned to that squad? Once i caught myself, that I left my squad of 10 marksdwarves with only 100 bolts assigned total (relic from times I had 1 marksdwarf). So some had ~20 bolts, and others ~1 bolt and were rushing to fight in melee.