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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2141436 times)

Qinetix

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3660 on: January 17, 2011, 12:34:11 am »

Genned a lovely little site--lushly forested wilderness, perfectly flat volcano, mountains on the edge of the map absolutely filthy with exposed veins of ore.  Sand.  Dolomite.  Gabbro, and granite coming out the ears.

Did a scouting embark.  Can't bring myself to use the site.  Why?  No ocean/river; and I'm a whore for good, evil and savagery.

Face.  Palm.

Find a aquifer , and the aquifer to be only in a biome , build your base between them
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Desu

feather240

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3661 on: January 17, 2011, 02:01:38 am »

Urist McOblivious: "Ahh, snatcher, my arms!"
Urist McEfficiency: *Runs up to victim.*
Urist McOblivious: "Oh thank Armok you came to help me!"
Urist McEfficiency: *Picks up McObliviouss' item and runs away.*
Urist McOblivious: *Passes out.*
It begins to rain.

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Tokkius

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3662 on: January 17, 2011, 05:20:59 am »

Realizing that, although it is really cool that dwarves now have semi-tangible souls, it's opened up a whole new box of worms. I realized this when I got a sudden onset of nearly a half-dozen freaking poltergeists battering anyone at my entrance.

BLOOD. EVERYWHERE. Also ghost-moans.
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melomel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3663 on: January 17, 2011, 01:45:26 pm »

Fell asleep while the game was running.

Woke up to:

My best mason/miner, one of the starting seven, lying dead in the dry moat--probably slain by a werewolf.

A moody mechanic.

In the cage traps: 13 werewolves, 1 fox, 1 cougar, and a swordfish.

Have modded the werewolves to be trainable in a fit of pique.  If they insist on mobbing us, they might as well make themselves of use.
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I HAVE THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND CRAFT ITEMS. I WILL TRADE THEM ALL FOR CHEESE.
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NewSheoth

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3664 on: January 17, 2011, 02:21:54 pm »

Fell asleep while the game was running.

Woke up to:

My best mason/miner, one of the starting seven, lying dead in the dry moat--probably slain by a werewolf.

A moody mechanic.

In the cage traps: 13 werewolves, 1 fox, 1 cougar, and a swordfish.

Have modded the werewolves to be trainable in a fit of pique.  If they insist on mobbing us, they might as well make themselves of use.

Now THAT is something to wake up to. Undead or not.
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" It... it's finally over. Oh Armok it was like the end of days in some kind of gristly death bathtub of untold horror and wow that is a nice waterfall."
Embarked on a haunted volcano. I am currently terrorized by skeletal alligators.

Maynot

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3665 on: January 17, 2011, 03:56:45 pm »

Channeling out a vertical shaft and somehow having a dwarf fall to his death.
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I play games of games inside games in my head.

Musashi

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3666 on: January 18, 2011, 12:09:42 pm »

Why the fuck is my macedwarf wearing a mace, a battle axe, AND a shield?
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3667 on: January 18, 2011, 12:12:24 pm »

'cause you told him to.
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A tiny, foul-tempered humanoid creature that dwells in the evil mountains. They are known to enjoy drinking liquor and will take any unguarded supplies of booze.

Musashi

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3668 on: January 18, 2011, 12:21:20 pm »

'cause you told him to.
Well, I don't remember telling her so. Also... how the hell does she manage to carry all that at once?
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3669 on: January 18, 2011, 01:19:12 pm »

In her hands. Just check her equipment via m and e, my guess is you assigned one weapon directly and left the 'individual choice-melee.'
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A tiny, foul-tempered humanoid creature that dwells in the evil mountains. They are known to enjoy drinking liquor and will take any unguarded supplies of booze.

BlandoTaco

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3670 on: January 18, 2011, 04:00:51 pm »

Ten minutes into my very first fortress
"so that's what an aquifer is"

My second fortress was lost to rhesus macaques
I wish I was kidding, I really do

And then I figured a good biome would be safer
And then I learned I was wrong.
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I intend to die the way I was born:
Naked, screaming and covered in blood.

Lord Shonus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3671 on: January 18, 2011, 04:56:58 pm »

'cause you told him to.
Well, I don't remember telling her so. Also... how the hell does she manage to carry all that at once?
Very carefully.
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On Giant In the Playground and Something Awful I am Gnoman.
Man, ninja'd by a potentially inebriated Lord Shonus. I was gonna say to burn it.

Rockphed

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3672 on: January 18, 2011, 06:56:57 pm »

And then I figured a good biome would be safer
And then I learned I was wrong.

I used to love trying to run a fortress with nothing but the wagon at the start.  It worked best when my first hunter managed to take down a unicorn without getting killed.  Now a days, what with fish not giving bones, it is much harder to do.
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Only vaguely. Made of the same substance and put to the same use, but a bit like comparing a castle and a doublewide trailer.

Eoganachta

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3673 on: January 18, 2011, 11:02:32 pm »

While filling my water system I watched my mil. commander run up to the access and open the door only to find a wall of water behind it. He promptly closed the door and then ran back a few steps only to rush back, open the door and then cross the pipe to another door and escape.
I then went to look at the dining hall and found it fill with water and the dwarfs being pushed to the edges. My fort is several z levels below the river and I forgot about the pressure system.
LOL
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every place i go ends covered in vomit
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WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET ENOUGH BABY FOR A PICKAXE? THERE ISN'T ENOUGH BABY.

ikacer

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3674 on: January 18, 2011, 11:52:40 pm »

To teach my dwarfs how to swim and to keep my dwarves clean, I filled my sunlight exposed meeting room and barracks with Water [4/7]. The plan was working nicely.
Too bad I forgot that my biome freezes in the winter. 61 of 74 dwarves died, including my entire military, and all animals except a few cats.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2011, 12:02:02 am by ikacer »
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