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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2182185 times)

Musashi

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3465 on: December 24, 2010, 08:15:50 am »

And now, I got two diplomats in the hospital well. Somehow, the dorf outpost liaison isn't drowning. I command his swimming skills.
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

Shardok

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3466 on: December 24, 2010, 10:45:48 am »

Digging down down down down down looking for the perfect spot to hide my valuable valuable coins. They're so shiny and must be kept buried beneath all of the other Z levels, with magma surrounding them, and magma in the hallways between where they are stored and where the stairs into them are. Yes, must make them safe. Safe I say. Oh hey, what's that? Adamantine? *designates to be mined carefully* Now, back to the coins, yes. Shiny and all, must be kept safe. *looks at current date* Late Winter? Waaahhh! I have to give my friend the save so he can start his part of the succession game... buh... so much Fun is awaiting me: Adamantine, the King, Magma filled coin chambers, and so much more.

Hmmm, I probably shouldn't be playing this succession game with people not accustomed to playing DF, this could be bad. But hey, they can't blame me for the fun that the magma brings, and besides, I found them a shiny blue type of stone that has to be fun to use. I mean, look how dangerously close it is to that magma!
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Zrk2

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3467 on: December 24, 2010, 11:32:54 am »

Well done
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He's just keeping up with the Cardassians.

The Scout

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3468 on: December 24, 2010, 11:33:54 am »

Embarked on a river. Urist McUseful has drowned. x7
Embarked on a river which unfroze right when I started.
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Whatever you do, don't agree to stop looking at pornography or getting help from Jesus.
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Soapalope

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3469 on: December 24, 2010, 03:15:06 pm »

My horse just had a foal.

Without any member of the opposite gender.

Asexual horse?
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FB: I was thinking Facebook. Oh well, I guess killing a Forgotten Beast is cool too.
Note to self: Devise methods of dropping Liaisons down pits during meetings. Yell, "THIS IS SPAARRTAAAAA..." at my monitor.

The Scout

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3470 on: December 24, 2010, 03:29:00 pm »

The trader stopped with his horse for more then one reason.
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Whatever you do, don't agree to stop looking at pornography or getting help from Jesus.
"mind if I sig this"
 - Person who isn't actually going to put that in their sig

billybobfred

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3471 on: December 24, 2010, 06:08:05 pm »

Why is my mason not doing anything? ARGH HE IS NOT EVEN ON BREAK WHAT IS UP WITH oh I managed to build him into a corner. Whoops.
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urist mcgeorg, who lives in boatmurdered and makes over 10,000 bad decisions each day,

melomel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3472 on: December 25, 2010, 12:39:35 am »

Re-embarked on my volcano-draining-into-magma-sea-which-is-also-draining-into-the-caverns site.  There was a slight issue with not having any wood, due to being walled inside in order to avoid the free-roaming Red Ampersands that had set the surface on fire while killing every single thing that set foot on the map.

This site also had cotton candy tubes.  Two of them.

My new embark party was awesome.  Two excellent smith candidates--both loved cotton candy; one liked picks, one liked shields.  Visions of endless masterwork blue picks and shields are dancing through my head at this point--but it had to get better.  The others had excellent stats, and more fortuitous preferences.  I could've had a baron who wanted nothing but corkscrews, cats, and barrels.

As the game loads, it crashes.

And I had typo'd the autosave on start entry in init.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
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I HAVE THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND CRAFT ITEMS. I WILL TRADE THEM ALL FOR CHEESE.
7+7

Musashi

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3473 on: December 25, 2010, 10:57:48 am »

A third of my fortress, or maybe a half, is suffering from extreme numbness. Oh, and they're randomly bleeding. No idea where they're bleeding from exactly. They are not suffering from blood loss... yet.
My main halls' floor have been entirely replaced with grates for my global mist generator.
I also have the policy of killing all FBs I see and not wall off access to the caverns.
Even with the water pouring and thorough abuse of dfcleanmap, the infection shows no sign of weakening.
I severely overestimated the hygienic quality of floor grates. As in I never bothered to deconstruct and reconstruct them.
I can not use magma, both because I physically cannot, and also because few grates are magma-proof.

In conclusion: I am an utter moron. But at least, I'm having FunŽ.
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

Icee77

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3474 on: December 25, 2010, 04:27:57 pm »

Not Dorf fail, Overlord fail.

I just finished my entire fortress made of wood, when i see a pack of wolves. Naturally, i send in my wrestlers in to kill 'em. Unfortunately, one of the wrestlers was an obsidian dorf.....
COMMENCE FIRE.

I was panicking and making a moat when the fire reaches my fortress.
Then..... nothing. the wood doesn't burn, doesn't splode. Nothing.
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Lord Shonus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3475 on: December 25, 2010, 08:19:51 pm »

Built walls are invulnerable except for cave-ins and dwarven children.
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On Giant In the Playground and Something Awful I am Gnoman.
Man, ninja'd by a potentially inebriated Lord Shonus. I was gonna say to burn it.

Skadan

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3476 on: December 25, 2010, 08:39:52 pm »

I fac palmed myself a moment ago. Pulled the wrong lever almost drowned my entire fortress. With water... and goblins.. and trolls.. and carp.
Btw i must have the best mayor ever. He just mandated 1 barrel to be made. And he put an export ban on weapon racks. Just love him.
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Lord Shonus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3477 on: December 25, 2010, 08:40:45 pm »

How did you even notice? A mandate like that would be fufulled instantly in many forts.
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On Giant In the Playground and Something Awful I am Gnoman.
Man, ninja'd by a potentially inebriated Lord Shonus. I was gonna say to burn it.

Horizonblue

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3478 on: December 25, 2010, 10:24:33 pm »

Made a fortress that for about three years went on happily.
Then goblins just started rushing in.
Best part, my military retreated into the meeting room when the commander went on break.
Goblins followed, and so did FUN.
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When in doubt:  More Lever!

twilightdusk

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3479 on: December 25, 2010, 10:59:09 pm »

How did you even notice? A mandate like that would be fufulled instantly in many forts.

Even instantly fulfilled mandates get listed for a while. I recently got a message saying "The mayor has issued a mandate" or whatever the announcement is, and looked in the nobles screen to find [Make Steel Goods: 3/3]
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A man would see that as a difficult challenge.
An elf would see that and despair.
A dwarf would see that and say, "Bring it on."
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