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[Jacob/Lee]

Just built a giant 70-z level pump stack for magma with some 50 windmills powering it, turned it on.

It burst into flames and came crashing down all the way to the magma sea. It was made of wood.
God.
Fucking.
Damnit.

Oh well, time to do it again, but with steel this time!

[ungulateman]

Just built a giant 70-z level pump stack for magma with some 50 windmills powering it, turned it on.

It burst into flames and came crashing down all the way to the magma sea. It was made of wood.
God.
Fucking.
Damnit.

Oh well, time to do it again, but with steel this time!

[TEMPERATURE:NO]

lololol

[MagmaMcFry]

[TEMPERATURE:NO]

That's what the elves pray for when they see the magma approaching.

I believe in [TEMPERATURE:YES].

[MaximumZero]

Just built a giant 70-z level pump stack for magma with some 50 windmills powering it, turned it on.

It burst into flames and came crashing down all the way to the magma sea. It was made of wood.
God.
Fucking.
Damnit.

Oh well, time to do it again, but with steel magma-safe stone this time!

I personally prefer Dolomite.

Also: ...who turns temperature off? Play like a man Dwarf.

[Zodel]

Accidently dropped a volcano on 4x Urist Mclegendaryminers head.  Debris rained down on my fort, suffocating Urist McLegendary Carpenter, x2 Urist McLegendarymason, and collapsing my hospital in on Urist McHouse.


I really should pay more attention...


On an added note, it's my fourth fortress.

[TolyK]

lulz
HAVE FUN!

(wait, how did you collapse a VOLCANO on your fort? they're uniform all the way down. plz explain)

[Musashi]

Today, I learnt mining is a moodable skill.

[Zodel]

Wanted to roof over the volcano to stop various flying things getting in. So, without thinking, started mining on the same level I was doing a project. The mountain ABOVE where I was mining fell in. I had drained the volcano earlier to build a catwalk through it because it seemed awesome. It refilled, collapse broke catwalk. Much FUN ensured.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Modded to make a goblin fortress.
Everyone started blinking blue arrows after a while. A thought, "Why don't you morons just drink from that brook? Oh, crap, it's several Z-levels underground!"
I had every miner start digging an emergency water tunnel, but failed. Everyone died almost simultaneously.

Reclaim: I've had most of my dwarves die when I had them replace the old miners and they decided to dig a big air shaft instead of the safety stairs. I only have two dwarves and a goblin ghost, along with a few pets I think. One dwarf is trying to attend a meeting on some ledge in the half-dug shaft; I forget where the other is. He's not taking a career in mining, though.

[Iados]

My 4 dwarven years old fort was running good, but with poor military. Suddenly...

An Ambush! Curse them!

Spotted by my leatherworker at the map edge, on a brook. Ok, my first ambush, send all soldiers out, forgetting the rows of traps and drawbridge i builded for locking everyone inside. [FACEPALM]

Goblin killed lots of dwarves (they chosed to go outside 5 second before ambush for gathering wood) and 4 soldiers, but fortress survived. Preparing to bury the corpses when...

An Ambush! Curse them!

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFU-

Two Ambush in a row = FUN!!!!

[The Scout]

I learned my hunter will only carry 1 stack of bolts. Run, shoot 5 bolts, get some more.

[Fishbulb]

A play, by Fishbulb:

Curtain rises.

Fishbulb: I know. I'll train up my engravers by smoothing the entire fortress all the way down to the magma forges, then having them put some masterwork-engravery action in the bedrooms!

Dwarves: You're a genius!

Fishbulb: Okay, little engravers, do your stuff.

End of act one.

Curtain rises.

Planter dwarves: Dum de dee de dum. Hey, nice dining room.

Fishbulb: Oi. Shouldn't you guys be planting?

Planter dwarves: Can't help you, mate. No seeds.

Fishbulb: I'm looking at the stockpile right now. You have many seeds.

Planter dwarves: Oh, right. Plots. We meant no plots.

Fishbulb: There are many plots!

Planter dwarves: Right, not plots. That stuff. You know. Whatsitcalled. Like magma, but not burny.

Fishbulb: Blood?

Planter dwarves: Rhymes with blood.

Fishbulb: Mud!? There's mud all over the place! I rerouted the brook into the … and then … I … oh no.

Super-legendary engravers: Oh yeah. About that.

Fishbulb: Mein leben!

Exeunt, pursued by a bear.

[Oglokoog]

So I had the wonderful idea of training my military dwarfs at swimming. I am in a terrifying beach, so I thinked it would be useful. But of course, at the same time two zombie whales were breaking in my fortress, going into an rampage and killing dwarfs quickly. So I sended my military, and then every thing failed in my life.

The whales basically did a massacre. Any soldier that was not dead at that moment was in coma for is whole life. And at the same times... Ogres. Three. Near of my fortress. They entered, passed the last whale alive (she was about to die anyway) and started another killing spree. The population of my fortress had dropped from 134 to 116 because of the whales, and now the ogres were just having fun with my civilians.

But of course, I had a plan. All the defenses of my fortress were down, the ten military dwarves were dead, I had ogres killing the cook in the dining room and zombie beasts could enter in my fortress (at this point, there was a little army against me, because I had never tried to make the zombie population outside of my fortress decrease) but I  had a goddamn epic plan.

 All the 103 dwarfs still alive retreated into the deepest part of my fortress. I was doing a little challenge in this fortress and all my dwarfs were trained to fight, a little bit. But of course I had no equipment for them. So deep in my fortress, near the tree farm, i cutted all the trees of the underground and built a carpenter workshop to build wooden armors and shields, as much as possible, while the bad guys in the top were breaking doors and statues, getting near... I digged out after that some of the obsidian layer of my map and then built obsidian shortswords. At the end, half of the dwarfs were equipped with all this scrap before the ogres finally breaked in. And the massacre started again.

Killing, killing and killing. Dorfs flying across the room. The mayor getting owned by a zombie kraken and bleeding to death. The new milita commander, the only one with steel armor and weapons, got destroyed by a zombie tiger. But at the end, I won. 34 dorfs were still alive and nearly nothing else was living on the map. They returned up in the higher levels, reconstructed the doors, rebuilded the defenses, and the fortress started to live again. And then...

Forgotten Beast McWeirdName come in the fortress. It is a giant bear of fire, capable killing dwarfs with his venom.

/Facepalm

A creature made of fire will die if you tap it with a featherwood crutch. Not much to fear, really.

[twilightdusk]

A creature made of fire will die if you tap it with a featherwood crutch. Not much to fear, really.

Or just kicking it.

[FrisianDude]

I wanted my miners to make a pond-to-be a bit deeper, but apparently, there was an aquifer below. One of the poor miners, Thikud Idenlaltur, had just become legendary but now he got caught in aquifer water. And it was freezing. He was encased in a block of ice and is now my first, on this fortress, casualty. I wish I could assign a tomb to him, just to honour him, even though I don't have his body.

Oh, it does count as if he's buried. Good. I'll remove the bed from his room and place a statue instead.