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[Bordellimies]

I used to dig/cut trees from/gather plants etc. from big areas, by pressing D --> T/P/M, and selecting the area.
It took ages to select the whole forest to be designated.

Then I learned you can use shift to move faster..
This also helped with me moving around looking for stuff, it took really long time to move from my base to some mountain where I had set up a mine.

[MagmaMcFry]

You know that you can use < and > to change z-levels, right? There's tons of rock directly under you.

[NewSheoth]

I used to dig/cut trees from/gather plants etc. from big areas, by pressing D --> T/P/M, and selecting the area.
It took ages to select the whole forest to be designated.

Then I learned you can use shift to move faster..
This also helped with me moving around looking for stuff, it took really long time to move from my base to some mountain where I had set up a mine.

You can also move the blinking X that is the designator with your mouse. Left click designates a tile for an action, right click moves the designator.

[Samuel]

A fey mood? well, who-? My armourer!

Finally! finally I'll get a useful artifact! One I can proudfully boast about! One that will protect my dwarven soldier from the goblins that the artifact itself draws! Define a burrow! give him all the iron and gold bars! This is going to be great!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It was a shoe. a single shoe.

[Lord Shonus]

Hey, at leat you'lss have a safe foot.

[MagmaMcFry]

Started a new fortress in .31.18. Channeled a strip of soil away for my new gigantic arena of deathly death. My first miner was struck down by the falling wagon.
*facepalm*

Continued channeling downwards. Saw a piece of overhanging rock that should actually not be there. Thought "Wait, what? No, stop, STOP!".
Hit Space.
A millisecond too late to save my second miner.
*headdesk*

And I thought I had taken care of anything that could go wrong...

[Serio]

Hushgranite is an isolationist fortress, with only very few dwarves being allowed inside.

But anyway, I imagined that at some point, I would need a tomb on the surface. I found a perfect spot, but it was blocked by a wall. No problem, I thought. I designated a dig site, and one of my dwarves went to work happily. One moment later; "A section of the cavern has collapsed!" Oh no, I thought and zoomed. Phew, no damage. I wonder where my miner has gone to, because he didn't die in the collapse. I go down a Z-Level and notice water is seeping into the bedrooms. A hole in the ceiling was created when the wall fell into the river. The worst part? The wall continued down another z-level, flooding the industrial area.

Just to make it all worse, the miner fell down into the industrial area. And survived. With bruises. Bruises!

[Uzu Bash]

It was a good many years before I realized the mistake of making the finest well a meeting area.

In the most legendary and most central dining room.

Right next to the door to the largest residential area.

Also the quickest path to fully half of the fortress.

I thought I could rectify that by replacing the floor around it with grates.

*double-brow combo facepalm!*

[Loyal]

A fey mood? well, who-? My armourer!

Finally! finally I'll get a useful artifact! One I can proudfully boast about! One that will protect my dwarven soldier from the goblins that the artifact itself draws! Define a burrow! give him all the iron and gold bars! This is going to be great!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It was a shoe. a single shoe.

I had a Bonecarver claim a workshop. I didn't have any bones handy, so I had to butcher some of my draft animals.

He claimed three stacks of bones, 52 in total. He could've made a throne to Armok or something with all that.

He made a weapon rack, worth ¤1200.

[Jacob/Lee]

My bone carver got possessed and made a bed out of one stack of dog bones, worth ¤1200 also. Damn, it must hurt to sleep on it.

[Musashi]

I see your bones, and I raise you Unulkurol, The Dank Embraces.
It's a turtle shell mask. Nothing more. 840 dorfdollars.
I beat all of you.
The crafter must have cut two holes in a turtle shell for the eyes and called it a day.

However, I rather like it; I picture my overseer wearing it constantly for the sake of mystery and stuff.

[Carcanken]

I left my game on when I had to have dinner, thinking I had already paused it.
So I came back an hour later and I saw my last dwarf's head get stabbed by a goblin.
Yippe
/facepalm

[Illeist]

Yeah i've seen snail, slug and tigermen in various spots.

My contribution to the fail parade.

Spent 3 hours setting up a trio of GCS to web across a line of cage traps for capturing FB's entering from the caverns.

Another 2 hours waiting for an FB.

Finally, he has come.  Giddy with anticipation I watch as he bee-lines for the cage corridor.
My expedition leader steps from behind a nearby rock pillar and sticks a masterwork dog bone bolt through his brain....I curse....apparently he's 'hunting'.

On the upside I now have a stack of 340 FB meat

It's entirely possible that I'm missing something here... But aren't FBs immune to cages anyway?

[nordak]

I'm under siege by about 60 goblins, death items are forbidden, I have my dwarves behind fortifications firing at the enemy.  Next thing I know all of my dwarves are swarming out the doors, still unclear to the cuase... even the troops stationed by the cavern entrance have appeared at the front door on active duty...  not sure but I need to get the civies back inside before they all die and cuase a massive tantrum spiral that I'm sure that is coming....  all the civilians are labeled no job...  still face-palming from not knowing the cause of the loss of this stable fortress...

Now I'm really confused... fire is everywhere... !!Dwarves!! are going crazy....  The !!Science!! makes no sense...  Spontaneous  flames with no apparent source, brushfire... !!dwarves!! will all be dead soon, time to un pause and watch the massacre.

Good news:  lots of !!Goblins!!...

Edit: Enraged at all enemies... they basically came out for the cage traps and went enraged when they saw the trolls... and it was one of the most spectacular goblin massacres I've seen, the trolls took a while to put down... they just wouldn't bleed out...

The fire killed 15 dwarves, and 20 goblins.  the only survivor of the fire was one of my elite marksdwarves who killed 5 Ogres with a blunt crossbow only incurring a broken arm.  He'll get treatment if the tantrum spiral ever ends... I have 15 decent docters... they are currently throwing rocks at each other...

[proxn_punkd]

"Urist McSmith, Armorer, has been possessed!"

Ok, not exactly a facepalm moment, more like "I hate you, Armok" thing, because so far I had 9 strange moods in my latest fortress. 7 of them were possessions.

Yeah, I've had almost twenty moods, and maybe three of them weren't possessions. According to the wiki that might be influenced by playing style somehow...?

Also, somehow one of my engravers got a proper fey mood, made a stone piccolo... and got engraving EXP? WTF, Dorf Fortress.