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[skaltum]

Discovering that I have to add the Captain of the Guard to the Fortress Guard.

Wut ._.

*slightly off topic*

personally i havnt played the 2d version but since the move to 3d i think you always asigned book keeper, sherrif/captian of the guard, broker and manager. but i started with 40d so i dont know when it was actually implemented but in the 2d version as far as i know the captian of the guard was an immigrant noble

*slightly off topic*

[puke]

trying to remember.. i think the sheriff would come, and would be promoted up to higher ranks like captain as your fortress grew in population.  same thing for the mayor.  you could assign dwarfs from the military into the fortress guard, or into the royal guard.  i never bothered.

but the royal guard axedwarfs that came with the king, those guys were badass.  only thing that saved my fort from a rampaging bronze collossus that had bypassed all my traps.  these days, you have to cheat just to get a bronze collossus to survive worldgen.

[skaltum]

another facepalm monent for me was a tantrum spiral of 69 dwarves caused by a champion who was a legendary wrestler/hammerlord  who was armed with steel plate and an artifact iron warhammer who went on a rampage because she had been adopted by 7 cats including kittens which i dumped into the magma masher (magma garbage dump) and killed the mayor who happened to be friends with more than half the population which set the ex-mayors wife to beat up the animals etc and it turns out that the pesky champion survived till the end while only suffering a broken upperbody 2 fingers on her left hand loped off and her right hand loped off. in the end she went mad and jumped in to the magma masher. never before have i seen so much dwarven death by tantrum. 

[Blackburn]

Discovering that I have to add the Captain of the Guard to the Fortress Guard.

Wut ._.

When the population is high enough, the sheriff promotes to Captain of the Guard.

Except it doesn't automatically put him in the Fortress Guard. He's technically not a guard. I look at him, and it gives me the option to put him in the guard. If I don't, I think he just mills about, not doing much. Doesn't spar, I think.

Might be a glitch. Might.

[Rockphed]

The nice thing about leaving the Captain of the Guard out of the Fortress Guard is that then he actually does work.  He still hunts down and beats up or jails criminals.

[AtomicPaperclip]

The nice thing about leaving the Captain of the Guard out of the Fortress Guard is that then he actually does work.  He still hunts down and beats up or jails criminals.

Oh okay.

[ShadowDragon8685]

I decided I wanted nice, tall cliffs, and since the fractal map generator was introduced, it never gives them to you.

So I made them. Not the hard way. The DWARF way.

By which I mean, I udermined the outlines of the cliffs I wanted, set up a lever and supports, channeled out so that there were gigantic plates of rock suspended by only a few supports like a wedding cake.

Then I PULLED THE LEVER..

Actually, pulling the lever worked perfectly well - in fact, it even saved me the trouble of finding the magma pipe, since it revealed it for me.

What did not work so hot was the fact that there was a plateau on one of the levels, unsupported by the rest of the level, but accessable from the level below. I forgot this, forgot to (a) support it to the rest of it's Z-level or (b) to leave out a square to be left alone.

Resulting in the idiot who undermined it squishing himself dramatically.

[Mad Larks]

When I first discovered the joys of a bin.

"Oh Armok damn it, stupid finished goods stockpile filling up too quick...hey, whats this, bins?" *Makes some* "...Oh you have to got to be carping me." *facepalm*

When I first discovered noise.

"Why does my dwarves complain of sleeping uneasily due to noise?" *Checks the wiki* "..." *facepalm*

When I first discovered mass dumping.

When I thought that traps would spring on your dwarves if they walked over them, so I didn't bother with them.

Those are about the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

[Jualin]

The largest face palm moment I ever had was when I channeled the sea into my gem stockpile while trying to set up a desalinization pump.

[Jordo]

In one of my earliest forts, I dug into a small dirt hill. A stockpile in the back was dug in such a way that it left a diagonal opening. I ignored it, and my dwarves paid dearly. The goblins made it inside before I even knew there was an ambush! Plus, I had no army.

[Ralith]

I was angry with the inefficiency of a fort.
SO, I tried to flood it from a brook.

The first death was from dehydration.

[Grishnak]

My best facepalm moment was this:

Thinking I was clever to "attempt" (yes its in quotes D: ) a "controlled" cave-in to make my fort look nicer.  There was a cave in allright, that dropped all of my miners into my moat, destroying the ONLY entrance to my fort (a draw bridge). I then carved out another entrance to go save said dwarves. This isnt the face palm moment yet. The face palm moment comes when I forgot to un designate the rest of the channeling on the parts that didnt cave in yet...

Which of course led to one dwarf rebuilding the bridge, going and saving one dwarf that didnt drown yet (SOMEHOW?), crossing the bridge at the EXACT time the other miner dwarves finished the "controlled" cave-in. YET AGAIN destroying the bridge, and falling into the EXACT same moat, but now with an extra casualty. The dwarf that tried to save the first one that almost died.


Amazingly none of them died! I <3 DF.

[ToonyMan]

I sometimes forget when I'm making moats that channeling digs the tile below too.  Water or magma(!) floods my beloved fort.

*cries at lost forts this way

[CobaltKobold]

I decided I wanted nice, tall cliffs, and since the fractal map generator was introduced, it never gives them to you.

Oh, it will, just not by default.

[Lord Dakoth]

I was going to build an underwater glass fortress. It was my first time working with glass. I created about 200 raw glass, only to find that you need GLASS BLOCKS to build constructions out of glass.