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[Thadius]

Spent 15 minutes panicking because I cooked away all my booze and was waiting for my farms to yield some brewable crop. I then realized I had completely forgotten about the plant gather designation and could have been brewing strawberries and stuff.

The entire fortress was dying of thirst because I didn't have a damn rope for the well.

HINT: Booze doesn't cook anymore.  Be sure to tell your dwarves this!

[MacMahoon]

i just tested my combo shower/arena. it turns out that my design is slightly flawed. My plan was to have an automatic clean up system that would simply shunt the arena "waste" into the caverns. I didn't take into account the slight water pressure of tapping the river directly. I realized something was wrong when i watched a dwarf standing around in a huge open arena move to the fortification get pushed through it. then down a z level and then pushed off a ledge down 5 z levels into the cavern lake and to a watery grave.

I honestly haven't laughed that hard in a while. i savescummed as the other 9 dwarves and pets of my military followed shortly after.

my next plan is to repurpose that into a noble "happiness" room and betting chamber to see which stinking elf lasts the longest.

[JAFANZ]

HINT: Booze doesn't cook anymore.  Be sure to tell your dwarves this!

Umm... It does & it doesn't.

Cooking requires that One ingredient be solid the others can be booze, syrup, whatever.

[Gutanoth]

Since quarry bushes can't be turned into alcohol, and they have lots of leaves produced, would it be a good idea to just make lots of those and turn the rest of your crops into alcohol and just cook as needed?

[sebs]

I had the d-b-d facepalm as well, but I'm not going to bore you with another story of that. So here are my other facepalms.

1. Figuring out that I could use bins for stockpiles. Before that, I usually built giant finished goods stockpiles. Trading took long as well, since I had to mark every single item to be brought to the depot.

2. The biome keys in embark selection. Suddenly, there actually _were_ areas with river and no aquiver.

3. Now knowing that aquivers don't necessarily span over the entire map, I happily built the fortress over an aquiver, planning to use it for wells  and dig around it later. However, in fact, I had built the fortress _under_ the aquiver. This caused a disaster when I built some rooms for stockpiles (see facepalm 1) above the workshop area. Damp stone? That must be some pond, just go ahead, it will make some farming space...

[xdarkcodex]

My indoor waterfall in my great hall killed everyone... nuff said. 12 years in game ended with 1 simple mistake.

[Reese]

Since quarry bushes can't be turned into alcohol, and they have lots of leaves produced, would it be a good idea to just make lots of those and turn the rest of your crops into alcohol and just cook as needed?

Quarry bush doesn't count as a solid ingredient... atleast, it doesn't in 31.12

Found this out the hard way when all I had for cooking was booze, syrup, and quarry bush leaves.

[LoSboccacc]

built my very first drowning chamber, with a large reservoir and dozen floodgates as to maximize water pushing damage.

it was my only entrance obviously, and it was a two level high channeled corridor, with fortifications at the second level and the drowning chamber built to flood only the first level (no archers weren't flooded - not immediately)

enter the wandering dragon, while he was approaching the tunnel I readied myself for flood the chamber. as soon as it was in position, I pulled the lever and the first level was flooded. time passed, with the dragon quietly trapped in the chamber. as drowning the dragon was not really working I closed the gate and sent archers to finish him off (it was somewhat stunned by the many wood pointy weapons trap of the hall)

as soon as the gates were closed, the dragon happily started moving toward one, smashing it. tunnel flooded again, dragon killed by being pushed again by the water over the wooden pointed stuff. hurra!

but now, the tunnel was flooded without hope of automatic recovery, as the path from the reservoir to the tunnel was smashed open. so I closed the path from the river to the reservoir and dug another tunnel at the second level of the drowning chamber to put five pumps in order to quickly drain the reservoir.

pumps built, starting pump order given, and five dwarves happily started pumping water out. While waiting from the tunnel to clean, I diverted my attention to build an overpass bridge over the channel so that the incoming liason could get inside the fortress, as it was almost autumn.

and then drowning message started. game paused, I looked at the tunnel: it was filled with dwarves, some stunned, some unconscious, some injured. some drowned and most of them drowning. I dug a ramp for the one that could make it in time to exit the water while looking at what was causing the mess.

turns out one of the pump was not finished. turns out that the water pumped trough the relief channel froze as soon as it was outside the tunnel. turns out the returning pressure wave was pushing trough the missing pump of the line, throwing dwarves in the drowning chamber. that stopped the pumping, making the terrain safe again and attracting more dwarves to their death.

...guess what was the first one gone berserk in the tantrum spiral that followed?
the steelclad legendary axeman that was already unhappy for not having his room ready being a captain of the guard.

but the fortress eventually recovered... while the legendary mason was building the one hundred required coffins.

 

[Argembarger]

I'm relatively new to Dwarf Fortress. I like to think I scaled the learning curve cliff, but I'm a long, long, LONG way from being adequate at this game. My problems arise from micromanagement and naive planning and such, but I'm typically a pretty careful guy for a dwarf (some would say rather un-dwarfy), and most of my deaths arise from outside forces and such, haven't yet managed to flood a fortress with water or otherwise.

However, last month I had quite a lot of fun. The Mirrored Picknavel was striking the earth at Doomdoomed the Doom of Dooms. Everything was going... mediocre, as per my style. Farming and brewing were up and running. I had a small 5-dwarf military protecting my 25 civilian dwarves. I was busy getting some furniture into bedrooms, pleased with the dining room I had just finished. It wasn't that big or fancy, but at the time it was the nicest I had ever made. Unfortunately, half of it was sandy loam, so I could only engrave a portion. But it had statues! And microcladamantine tables! My dwarves liked it too, they were always throwing parties instead of working, the devilish little scamps. Ah well, let them have their fun. Their existence up until now has been crouching in the damp darkness, chewing on cold, wet plump helmets, and falling asleep in the mud (except for the lucky... 4 that managed to snag a bed in the dorm).

What's this...? Urist McSociopath has randomly gone berserk?
Urist, please stop. There is absolutely no reason you should have just gone berserk. Your only unhappy thought was smelling a bit of miasma. And that was a week ago.
Oh god please put down that statue of a gazelle
Oh god he threw it at the party
so much blood
But hey, the party seems rather unaffected. Everyone ran out of the dining hall, then returned and resumed the party once Urist McSociopath was out of sight. Marvelous.

Now he's beating my farmers to death with his bare fists while they run in terror.

Oh look. My military is nowhere to be seen. That's... that's just awesome, guys. What the hell are you doing?

Oh, a goblin ambush.
OH GOD THEY KILLED MY MILITARY AND SUFFERED NO CASUALTIES

Now the goblins are running into my base. Obviously with all the dead bodies from Urist McSociopath's sociopathic urges, and the miasma from said dead bodies, a tantrum spiral is picking up. Now 4 dwarves are berserk, roughly 12 are dead, two are running for their lives from the berserk dwarves (and goblins), and the rest are at that goddamn party, living it up.

Perhaps the berserk dwarves and the goblins will kill each other off!

Or maybe they'll just launch a joint strike on the party.

The strength of your fortress has been broken!
*facepalm*

[Loof]

The biggest facepalm moment I've had was when trying to drain my flooded mine. The flooding was pretty stupid, but not as dumb as th following actions by me.

The original plan was simple, connect a channel from the mine to my farm drain. This was made more complicated by one of my main passageways, which happened to be located right below my channel.

Well, I'll just have to dig under it, I thought, and constructed a complicated multi-level channel under the passage. When finally done digging, and stopping mah dorfs trying to pick up the precious claystone, the water wouldn't flow all the way. It was when trying to fix this problem I realized that I could have just dug above the passage instead of channeling, saving me all that work. Facepalms were had.

Currently, my fort is a labyrinth of tubes, mostly connected and used to irrigate caves and fill wells.

[Skivverus]

Update on the fortress plus additional facepalm(s): another three simultaneous ambushes reduced the population down to thirty-five, with two military dwarves; partially my fault due to a drawbridge mishap (first facepalm). The new mayor is the cook.
Second facepalm: the kids started throwing tantrums, which were harmless enough until one of them demolished a drawbridge. Specifically, the caravan-accessible one over the river/stream/whatever-you-want-to-call-it.
While he was standing on it (of course).
He drowned shortly afterwards.

[sebs]

Wagon arrives at temperate embark site.

"Quick, Urist! Dig through that pond and make a farm room below it while it is still frozen"!
-"OK".

You know what happened.

[veok]

Noticing the sub-subtitle on the main game menu changes.

Repeatedly exiting to the main menu to see various combinations for twenty minutes.

[arzzult]

I read the above post then did the same thing because I hadn't noticed that before.

[Gutanoth]

they're all synonyms of greed and stubbornness you know?