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[skaltum]

back when i first started playing 40D (around about when 40D8 was released) i once played an all nighter and in my deep fatigue i remember carving fortifications into the side of the magma pipe so i could shoot the fire man......

how FUN

[polterhorst]

just one minute ago:

i´m playing on my 4th fortress, the first which really went well... my created wealth is above 1.200.000 and my population consisted of 130 dwarfs.

then a bronze colossus enters...
i already killed a colossus (glass) and think to myself: "no problem, he´s gone in 1 minute."
my militia of 40 dwarfes even manage to cut both of his hands, but now i have an insane monster without hands roundhouse-kicking my dorfs and my dogs (he really hates them).

i wonder, if that guy is related to chuck norris -.-


Edit: He doesn´t even kill his opponents... Just leaving them paralyzed or with broken legs, killing my fps. What a bitch.

[skaltum]

just one minute ago:

i´m playing on my 4th fortress, the first which really went well... my created wealth is above 1.200.000 and my population consisted of 130 dwarfs.

then a bronze colossus enters...
i already killed a colossus (glass) and think to myself: "no problem, he´s gone in 1 minute."
my militia of 40 dwarfes even manage to cut both of his hands, but now i have an insane monster without hands roundhouse-kicking my dorfs and my dogs (he really hates them).

i wonder, if that guy is related to chuck norris -.-

chuck norris came from that colossus's hand :O

[TheyTarget]

just one minute ago:

i´m playing on my 4th fortress, the first which really went well... my created wealth is above 1.200.000 and my population consisted of 130 dwarfs.

then a bronze colossus enters...
i already killed a colossus (glass) and think to myself: "no problem, he´s gone in 1 minute."
my militia of 40 dwarfes even manage to cut both of his hands, but now i have an insane monster without hands roundhouse-kicking my dorfs and my dogs (he really hates them).

i wonder, if that guy is related to chuck norris -.-


Edit: He doesn´t even kill his opponents... Just leaving them paralyzed or with broken legs, killing my fps. What a bitch.

As you will learn, there is a massive difference between something made of glass, and 12 foot tall solid bronze warrior that has been fighting for it's life since the dawn of time, and is winning.

[tzkal]

The first bronze colossus I ever faced.
I remembered hearing the horror stories of entire Fortresses falling before there might, entire armies decimated to bruise it's wrist. I had no more than 6 in my military; I hadn't even fought a siege yet. I KNEW I was screwed. I got them all ready in front of my fort, and waited... He comes, my squad proves little use against the giant, and are killed swiftly. He enters my fort... runs into a cage trap. End of battle.

Urist McCagehauler nearly dies of hunger/thrist on the way to stockpile carrying him. Coincidentally, this is how I learned weight is a factor in this game. Guess I should stop using barrels made of metal.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Metal barrels are fine - they're not that heavy.

[geoduck]

Urist McCagehauler nearly dies of hunger/thrist on the way to stockpile carrying him. Coincidentally, this is how I learned weight is a factor in this game. Guess I should stop using barrels made of metal.

It's always amusing to watch everyone else running around like they are in a Benny Hill skit, and then there's the one guy hauling the heavy whatever. Drag. Rest. Drag. Rest...

[The Underchef]

I was dumb enough to think that my Marksdwarves would actually collect bolts before I told them to move, despite them having quivers and ammo assigned in the M menu, as well as =Iron Bolts= sat in my ammo stockpile.

They all rush onto the walls to defend against the goblin attack and just stand there whilst a Marksgoblin shoots two of them in the chest and kills them.

[xellas84]

Let's see... facepalm worthy moments.

There's the obligatory "Tried to sell a hydra sitting in the middle of my stockpile to the elves".... Ended not well FUNly.

Started up an expansion on my farm, thought I'd be clever and connect both farming rooms to the same drainage hole.  Got all the way to digging the hole, putting in the lever-operated floodgate, and then in my infinite wisdom I put a door not only on the hallway leading back to the main base, but also on the path to the drainage hole.  And I didn't use a diagonal cut to neutralize the pressure coming from the river.  Needless to say Urist McNoswim did not appreciate being locked in there while I was desperately trying to get someone to deconstruct the door to the drainage pit.  Finally manage that... only to realize to my horror that the pit was full already, and there was now enough water to wash both Urist McNoswim and Urist McDoorremover into the 7/7 pit and start to flood the OTHER farm room.

[Dachande]

Been spending about an hour or two on a new fort I made. Found a great spot and I'm digging in. Only problem was there seemed to be limited trees on my level, so I had to send my dwarfs 5-6 Z levels down to the river to chop trees.

About 5 minutes ago, I decided to look a bit more north of my fortress.. and see the giant forest a stones-throw away. >_<

[xellas84]

Just had an astounding facepalm moment, combined with one of the most DISTURBING scenes.

Been using the pain room to train up my dorfs... 10 traps each loaded with 1 low-quality training spear, all hooked up to a lever and set as the training room.  Works amazingly... both as a training mechanism and as a baby remover.  Mother carried her baby into the training room, and stood there for several in-game days WATCHING as it got pounded into pulp in front of her.  Immediately downstairs (Not even 10 squares travel distance) was the hospital, fully stocked with a quite competent diagnostician set up as my CMD.  So this woman quite literally just watched her baby die in her arms out of SHEER SADISM.

Actually, now that I think about it, if she wasn't already in my military I'd be drafting her.

[Hirkyl]

My first fortress was thriving untill a couple of horse foals snuck in. I had two squads of military which had been training for some years at that point, but without any actual combat experience save killing a couple of chipmunks. I first noticed the horses when all labour in the workshop level came to a halt. Fine I thought an army of five dwarves can surely handle two young horses... The horses werent hostile they didnt even chase after the civillians not to even mention biting. Yet they managed to single handedly destroy a whole fortress. The scared civillians refused to eat and the army was getting too thirsty and tired to fight after endlessly punching the ears(And nothing but the ears!) of the horses.
I now arm my military, use doors set as internal and have a strong dislike for horses.

[Gutanoth]

Btw, what does setting doors as internal actually do? (i've never found out)

[Reese]

Btw, what does setting doors as internal actually do? (i've never found out)

causes room designations from furniture (like dining hall and office) to ignore them.

[Spectre]

-Ignore me-