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[Urist son of Urist]

I accidentally sent a full squad out after a goblin thief...armed with training weapons.

Now I've got ten dorfs with stab wounds sitting in the hospital.  They didn't kill the Goblin, either.  Although they DID break both of his legs and smash most of his fingers.

[Taco Dan]

So I'm playing Dwarf Fortress, not really paying attention. Suddenly I see that a cheese maker had gone berserk, I don't know why, I didn't remember getting a mood yet. The first thing he does is kill four people in rapid succesion, then chases everyone else around.

I could almost hear Yakkity Sax playing as several dwarves would outrun him and try to get in a snack or a nap only to find that he's just around the corner. His main target was my brewer and I was already short on booze, so those who weren't killed by the Cheese Maker were dying of dehydration, the Cheese Maker finally petered out and died, and so I have three, inexperienced dwarves left. Greeeat.

EDIT: Make that two, one of them just committed suicide.

[nekoexmachina]

my legendary axedorf (in full adamantine with ad. axe) has just dodged an arrow into volcano.

[Samrobot]

my legendary axedorf (in full adamantine with ad. axe) has just dodged an arrow into volcano.

Damnit all that good cotton candy gone to waste

[vadia]

I had all my dwarves safely in fortress type walls--- who sees where this one is going?

Goblin bowmen shriek with delight -- ITS A SHOOTING GALLERY.
Then, Same fortress, I manage to somehow forget that the training spears don't go.  "Awww what a cute little baby" and find that I've killed the baby I've been trying to produce so long.

[Reese]

with a challenge fort I started to test out an entrance type...

It has an aquifer... and I am breaking through it the hard way using pumps and building walls.

I'm in the middle of the second year and almost have the retaining wall built out of logs...

and a migrant gets a strange mood...

and he's a glass maker...

and glass furnaces cannot be made out of wood.
(I actually do have access to sand... but my intention was to build a workshop for him to be moody in and just wall him in to it.)

and then he goes berserk and kills off a couple dogs and a puppy and my book keeper.

and then I notice he's chasing my expedition leader who happens to be a miner, so I activate him and pick out the glass maker's brains in a couple seconds.

oh, and for the first time ever I managed to cut down enough trees to get the attention of the elves, and the elf master surgeon showed up to ask me to stop cutting down trees... of course, this is after I'm almost able to access stone and stop using wood except for forge fuel- too little, too late.

[Spectre]

Why didn't you bring even one stone while knowing you where about an aquifer?
Stone -> Wood Furnace -> Ash -> Glass Furnace

[RumblingNoise]

I embarked on a glacier, dwarves started to grumble and a legendary miner went berserk and killed all 40 of my dwarves but one dwarf managed to survive by hiding in the tunnels where pathfinding dared not enter.
In the end, the miner met a most dangerous foe, a cow.

So, my whole fortress could'nt subdue a single miner, yet this cow was more dwarfy than all of them 
I need to reward the cow somehow.

[Gutanoth]

Create a massive field for it to wander about in. With a specially designed hill for the haunting moos to echo through the fortress.

[Reese]

Why didn't you bring even one stone while knowing you where about an aquifer?
Stone -> Wood Furnace -> Ash -> Glass Furnace

because it's a face palm... and I probably would have tuned it in to a mechanism anyway- I've been using screw pumps to go around corners while powering the pumps that clear the building sites

[Libelnon]

I've been attempting an above grounder for a while now. I'm on my fourth attempt.

First time, we embarked okay, everything was going brilliantly. The fishery was set up, the town well, a storage warehouse for fish and I was beginning work on a dormitory when, suddenly, the entire map freezes over and blocks the well. Uhoh. Being above ground, with no booze, no herbalist, no brewer and no spare barrels, we ran out of dwarves before a successful attempt at reviving my drink stocks had paid off.
Second try. I picked a slightly different embark this time, and situated my fort over a waterfall in the stream that flowed directly into another stream. It was a neat, picturesque location - a cute little stream flowing through the middle of a conifer forest. However, I wanted to position a 'slum' style area directly next to the stream, and on a lower level than the rest of the fortress. Fair enough, there was a large depression not far away, I'll just widen that. So I did. All it took was a freak cavein, and my miner is stuck down with a nervous injury to his lower spine. 'Quick,' I thought. 'Build a small building nearby to act as a hospital'. Didn't take too long, the hospital was set up, and the doctor immediately patched my miner up. All's well, then, just needed to survive until he'd healed enough, right? Six months later, a sasquatch sneaks into the hospital and slaughters him and the woodcutter. I reassign their jobs to the mason and carpenter. Then the mason recreates the miner's accident and chucks himself into the river. With the pick.
Third attempt, I chose the same location as last time but with a more careful approach. The settlement was set up perfectly fine, the slum area was dug out smoothly, the early bridges were constructed and functional. I was quite proud of it when- Wait, what's this? Oh, great. An ocean titan turns up and burns the entire thing to a cinder.
I'm now about to start a fourth attempt. Wish me luck.

[Dachande]

....


Probably.. When I opened a cage.

Containing a dragon with 600 kills.

That was in my statuary (or w/e you call it)

During a party.

Lesson learned: Don't pull random levers. Especially when you always forget to add notes.

Oh, and basically what happened was the dragon wrecked my shit, as you might infer from the whole dragon in the fucking statuary situation.

[Urist McTaverish]

Just made a too-big space for outflow for my pump stack to drain the aquifer... Luckily the stack is powered by wind, but since I channeled out about ten squares above the aquifer I might not breach it with any speed.

[Sphalerite]

Today's lesson:

When you are playing an experimental mod with over a hundred civilizations added to it and have made most of them active in multiple seasons per year, you will be interrupted constantly by caravan arrival messages.  On the plus side, I know know that a single trade depot can handle over a dozen trade caravans simultaneously with no problem.

[MaximumZero]

I've wanted to do something like that, but I'm worried about what they would look like on the map. I really should just go ahead and do it, though.