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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2211328 times)

lolghurt

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2475 on: September 01, 2010, 09:44:53 am »

Discovered that insane dorfs will throw themselves down your artificial waterfall, making their corpse impossible to retrieve, and filling your meting hall with miasma.
Also, cats have a tendency to survive ten level drops, and manage to give birth just before bleeding out.
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Quote from: acetech09 date=1343968486
It's probably made from baby bone, with a handle of baby leather. Probably uses the leg bones wound together for the handle, the pelvis for the handle/pick joint, and the pick is the spine.

But that's all in theory, of course. Not like I've made a pick out of my own 5 month old baby before.

zagibu

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2476 on: September 01, 2010, 03:27:47 pm »

Discovered that insane dorfs will throw themselves down your artificial waterfall, making their corpse impossible to retrieve, and filling your meting hall with miasma.
Also, cats have a tendency to survive ten level drops, and manage to give birth just before bleeding out.

Hehe, there you thought having an open waterfall drainage in your fortress was a good idea, and promptly Murphy came along and taught you a valuable lesson.
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99 barrels of beer in the pile
99 barrels of beer!
If some dwarves know the way to the pile
0 barrels of beer in the pile!

Flaede

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2477 on: September 01, 2010, 04:20:41 pm »

Discovered that insane dorfs will throw themselves down your artificial waterfall, making their corpse impossible to retrieve, and filling your meting hall with miasma.
Also, cats have a tendency to survive ten level drops, and manage to give birth just before bleeding out.

GRATES.
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Toady typically doesn't do things by half measures.  As evidenced by turning "make hauling work better" into "implement mine carts with physics".
There are many issues with this statement.
[/quote]

Bronimin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2478 on: September 01, 2010, 05:24:42 pm »

-
« Last Edit: June 07, 2018, 04:20:24 pm by Bronimin »
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lolghurt

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2479 on: September 02, 2010, 11:39:06 am »

Discovered that insane dorfs will throw themselves down your artificial waterfall, making their corpse impossible to retrieve, and filling your meting hall with miasma.
Also, cats have a tendency to survive ten level drops, and manage to give birth just before bleeding out.

GRATES.
Discovered That insane dorfs can get to the normally impossible to get to top of the waterfall, which is impossible to grate because you have to swim through a couple of hundred 7/7 tiles and build on a 4/7 one. Then they will throw themselves onto the grate you build in your dining hall.
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Quote from: acetech09 date=1343968486
It's probably made from baby bone, with a handle of baby leather. Probably uses the leg bones wound together for the handle, the pelvis for the handle/pick joint, and the pick is the spine.

But that's all in theory, of course. Not like I've made a pick out of my own 5 month old baby before.

random guardian

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2480 on: September 02, 2010, 04:41:35 pm »

Urist McDumassMason has died of thirst
A section of the cavern has collapsed
Urist McChannler has bled to death
Urist McChannler#2 has bled to death
A human caravan has arived
Urist McOhLetsSitUnderThisBridgeNextToTheOtherBridgeBlockingTheEscapeAndTheCaravan has been crushed

 It was in that relative order.::) I guess my trap door bridge was never ment to be.
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You see a youtube comment you dont agree with. As you type out an insult against the users mother a member of your family watches you. Fed up with your addiction to youtube and spouting random swears at people who didnt enjoy your Naruto AMV, the family member grabs your head and rams it into the screen of your computer butchering your face and electricuting you to death.

It's a sad thing that your adventures have ended here!

Horizon9

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2481 on: September 02, 2010, 05:18:55 pm »

I was in the Object Testing Arena.
I was playing around with a legendary Hammerdwarf with legendary armor and shield, who was equipped with a steel warhammer and slade armor with a slade shield.
I facepalmed when I forgot to remove all of that before spawning a Bronze Cololussus.
He proceeded to beat the sh*t out of everything around him, and nothing I used hurt him.
Not even lava took him down.
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What a tiny roc. I guess I could call it a pebbl.

nekoexmachina

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2482 on: September 02, 2010, 07:10:57 pm »

My legendary adventurer (leg. axeman + shield + armor + dodger) was just killed. By the horse! I was wiping out the dwarven mountainhome, killed almost everyone including king and some leg. axedorfs, and one of the last hostiles was that horse. It was together with 2 peasants, just kicking me.
Before that I got only couple of light wounds with all the other dorfs (about 50), killing most of them with single axehack, but the horse.. i could not kill it. It was dodging all of my attacks, while it was successfully beating me. ;(
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Whenever i read the "doesn't care about anything anymore" line, i instantly imagine a dwarf, sitting alone on a swing set. Just slowly rocking back and forth, somberly staring at the ground, and stopping every once in a while to sigh.
It's mildly depressing.

immibis

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2483 on: September 03, 2010, 09:32:30 am »

Constructed a cistern and buckets, started the bucket brigade to fill it up. While they were filling it, I got a well set up, so the nurses could get water from the cistern without wandering all the way outside while the patients died of thirst. As soon as the well was finished, all the bucket brigade dwarfs began filling their buckets from the well. I had 20 dwarves in a small room, taking water from a well and pouring it into a hole to fill the well.
I didn't realize it until a season later when I realized that the cistern wasn't getting any fuller.

Yeah, that happened with my hospital's cistern too. Dorfs were running around filling it with it's own water.
I know this is an old quote, but I've exploited that to make a dwarf-powered waterwheel.
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If I wanted ramps I would've designated ramps, dammit!

Skelodwarf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2484 on: September 04, 2010, 01:48:20 pm »

Channeled out a rather basic irrigation system, only to realize the layer above it is channeled too, straight to the glorious sun. So much for those Potatoes...

(Eh, I'll just have a cross-hatched farm plot, it'll work)

Edit: Finished FailFarm:
« Last Edit: September 04, 2010, 03:52:42 pm by Skelodwarf »
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I never really got that excited over Microcline... Oh wait, THAT blue stuff.

Urist McTaverish

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2485 on: September 04, 2010, 06:52:00 pm »

Somehow my chief medical dorf (he no longer deserves the title Dwarf) fell and hurt himself while I was channeling for a waterfall in my dining room.  Two seasons later he succumbs to infection.  And I didn't get the waterfall to work properly.
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Here at Bay12, we're constantly looking for ways to set the world on fire.
But at least after all the chaos, the weather cleared.

Lord Shonus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2486 on: September 05, 2010, 01:16:43 am »

My weaponsmith is posessed, he's made two masterpiece weapons...
I know, this will not go over well, especially since my greed will make me want to sell those to traders.

Selling masterpieces is not defacement.
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On Giant In the Playground and Something Awful I am Gnoman.
Man, ninja'd by a potentially inebriated Lord Shonus. I was gonna say to burn it.

AngleWyrm

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2487 on: September 05, 2010, 02:00:02 am »

Just started pitting a squad of goblin archers that sieged me a minute ago, and here comes an Ettin. The ettin gets cage-trapped, and I'm going 'Cool, I'll throw him in the pit with the goblins and see what happens!'

Then I go back to pitting the rest of the caged goblins, and accidentally select the ettin for pitting while he's still being brought to the store room. The dwarf obediently lets him out of the cage, and he goes on a rampage, busting up a bunch of cage traps, and killing three dwarves before I figure out what's going on and call the military to dispatch him.
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ungulateman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2488 on: September 05, 2010, 04:37:48 am »

Channeled out a rather basic irrigation system, only to realize the layer above it is channeled too, straight to the glorious sun. So much for those Potatoes...

Potatoes? Are you using my mod?

If you are, :D
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That's the great thing about this forum. We can derail any discussion into any other topic.
It's not an embark so much as seven dwarves having a simultaneous strange mood and going off to build an artifact fortress that menaces with spikes of awesome and hanging rings of death.

stormyseasons

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2489 on: September 05, 2010, 09:35:50 am »

..So I pick a new, more challenging embark site, glacier next to artic ocean.... Dig down to the caverns, set up my farms, food stocks etc etc.... And then start losing dwarves to cave critter attacks. cue facepalm when I realise I hadn't walled off an area of the caves to keep the critters out. Designate appropriate numbers of walls at appropriate spots... Critter related deaths continue. Cue facepalm to realise I'd overlooked 2 small 1 tile ramps that led to the other caverns. And hadn't set up any squad patrols either... Gave up on walling off the caverns after that. At least beating off the occasional crundle swarm or blind cave ogre pair will give my dwarves some military experience.
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