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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2213633 times)

Dungeon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1950 on: June 23, 2010, 03:59:30 pm »

So, 5th siege at Nitigrigoth in the lands of sorrow today. Bussiness as usual. Makes me sigh. I..don't even freak anymore.

I order my Dwarves inside, set my Champions in place, set my Marksdwarves on standby because I saw that there were 4 huge squads of Goblins mostly Bowyers, but included Axe-Goblins, and Wrestlers. But were lead by humans, one strangely titled "Guard".

So they were screwing around at first, until a few cats ran towards the one squad. Yes, some cats, pet cats, NAMED cats, RAN TOWARDS them. They decided it was cat killing time. Except the cats were faster then the arrows and the Goblins, I watched as Goblins chased the cats for 5 freaking minutes. The wrestlers eventually caught the one named cat. I think they squeezed it so hard that its eyes popped like confetti out of a party favor. The other got turned into a cat pincushion.

Another cat, he got killed by bleed out and the sucker managed to get back into my fortress before hand and die in such a way that during this whole fiasco he caused miasma.

But, onto the REAL fun..learning from the last siege, I had taken the hill that was infront of my Marksdwarves fortification, and turned it into an epic fortification to remove the enemies ability to use it for any form of advantage. Turned it into an epic tower/soon to be execution drop/MarksDwarf outpost. Bassicly, wall's, tower, castle. With a small entrance at the bottom leading into the kitchen of my fortress for easy access for my military.

I thought I cut off all access...I didn't, I missed a single ramp. And several of those axe goblins and that guard knew it. Well, actually, all of his squad knew it, but they were the only ones who were able to make it past my cage trap line ups.

I immediatly threw a squad of Champions at the Axe-Goblins, and they took out the trash. And their leader over exerted herself. To the point that when the Guard showed up, she would run from him. Course, her 5 buddies showed up, ganged up on him, and beat the hell out of him. Course, it was only a miracle that happened, all the other squads I assigned to back her up, left to go get booze instead. I won the siege after that human was killed. I think he was a Goblin leader, cause he dropped a royal crown and an awesome bow. And the nasty nature of the attack would account for it too.

As for that Champion, She sustained such injuries from fighting she couldn't move, and she was on ice that was gonna thaw soon. No one was coming to get her, yet they would do other stuff. I had to build a freaking floor tile under her to save her life from being drowned.

It took a good long while, but they finally moved her to a bed.

"You're a hero to our people, but, we're gonna leave you in a place you could die even when its safe to come get you"

Oy...

At least no one seems upset about the blasted cats.
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I support the eating of Goblins to handle Dwarf food issues. Om nom nom nom, Goblin burgers.

Bingbing

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1951 on: June 23, 2010, 09:56:29 pm »

Completely forgetting how dangerous the underground could be, what with creatures not showing up until they were revealed.

Almost had the whole fortress massacred by a giant cave spider.

(It somehow missed all the dwarves in the underground food storage, took the incredibly long route to the main fortress, and got caught in a cage trap just before the staircase that I had considered removing earlier.)

And since it was invisible, I didn't see it until I saw the cage.

THANK ARMOK. (I am so going to tame it and use it to slaughter goblin hordes later.)
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Derekristow

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1952 on: June 24, 2010, 03:39:39 am »

Just started a new fortress on the map in this thread.  Everything was going well, until both of my miners decided they were cats and hunted for small animals until they died of thirst.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2010, 03:42:05 am by Derekristow »
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So my crundles are staying intact unless they're newly spawned... until they are exposed to anything that isn't at room temperature.  This mostly seems to mean blood, specifically, their own.  Then they go poof very quickly.

SmileyMan

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1953 on: June 24, 2010, 05:31:35 am »

I found a great embark location, with a cliff face overlooking a river valley.  The plan was to have the entrance to the fort via a massive viaduct into a sheer cliff face covered in arrow slits.  Nothing would make it across the bridge alive.

I painstakingly built the pylons and bridges for the viaduct, and started modelling the cliff to my specifications.

Except that I had managed to channel in the wrong place, straight through the roof of my entrance hall.  Yes, I could have rebuilt it all, but my heart just wasn't in it.
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In a fat-fingered moment while setting up another military squad I accidentally created a captain of the guard rather than a militia captain.  His squad of near-legendary hammerdwarves equipped with high quality silver hammers then took it upon themselves to dispense justice to all the mandate breakers in the fortress.  It was quite messy.

Misterstone

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1954 on: June 24, 2010, 11:22:53 am »

My fortress almost died today.  I have about 30 dwarves or so in a very modest community right now.  I suddenly notice that my dining hall area is full of dwarves with flashing red arrows; about 2/3rds of the dwarves in my fortress were upset!  Looking closely at their thoughts, I see that every one of them has the unhappy thought "Was forced to drink vomit recently".

So this fortress was still in the early stages, and often the dwarves were forced to go drink from the nice fishing hole I had incorporated from my fort.  My guess is that SOMEONE vomited in the drinking water area.  Stupid dwarves...
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Daetrin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1955 on: June 24, 2010, 02:04:11 pm »

Just started a new fortress on the map in this thread.  Everything was going well, until both of my miners decided they were cats and hunted for small animals until they died of thirst.

Glad to see someone else is using it :D

So far my only facepalm moment wity that map was generating that site with a history civ where dwarfs, elves, and goblins were extinct. And not noticing until my second year.
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All you need to know about Ardentdikes
It is really, really easy to flood this place with magma fwiw.

Doors stop fire, right?

Aleph

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1956 on: June 25, 2010, 02:06:17 am »

"Why is wet stone such a big deal that my dwarves have to cancel mining if they find it?"
*mines out 2 or 3 tiles and the whole place is flooded*

To make things worse, goblins sieged the fort a few minutes after that and I had no defenses and no military. :\
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Lokii

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1957 on: June 25, 2010, 02:14:44 am »

I just now realized what goblinite is.

Just now.

 Ugh.
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Oh and Lokii, your job is now to seduce the human traders.

Diablous

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1958 on: June 25, 2010, 11:11:26 am »

I just now realized what goblinite is.

Just now.

 Ugh.

Well, at least you've been using it. Right?
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A catgirl, whom oft it would please
To dine on a pizza, with cheese,
Thought it was quite fine
To be partly feline,
Excepting the hairballs and fleas.

Haspen

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1959 on: June 25, 2010, 11:14:30 am »

I just now realized what goblinite is.

Just now.

 Ugh.

Well, at least you've been using it. Right?

All goblinite is atom-smashed in my fort. I use only pure iron worked with hands and bears and coal!

Then goblins die of that iron.
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AngleWyrm

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1960 on: June 25, 2010, 07:49:00 pm »

85 guys, 375 plump helmets, 3 stills, and my fort dies of thirst. So much for trying out the New and Improved temperate zones.
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NewsMuffin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1961 on: June 25, 2010, 08:36:41 pm »

I dig out an awesome design, that I'll take a picture of if people ask, a dining hall leading to rooms, with cool designs 'n' shit. Then I realize that my militia commander, Kogsak Shoothelms is not happy. When I look, it says she talked to someone annoying lately. I checked her relationships, and found that she had made two grudges. Out of six other dwarfs. I didn't have any immigrants yet. I decided that not one dwarf is to be unhappy, so I check what she likes, and form her a bitching room. This takes roughly a month, and my dwarfs were still running off embark food. I realize that EVERYONE is hungry or starving. I set up a farmer, butcher, cook, and their shops, to find that the people I set these jobs to are hunting VERMIN. Goddamnit. So I'm guessing my fort is doomed because I suck too bad to bring the food back.

It's also strange how people sleep in other peoples rooms.
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HollowClown

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1962 on: June 26, 2010, 06:47:36 am »

Direct from the wiki:
Quote
Unlike activity zones, burrows can also be extended through not-yet revealed tiles...

Source: http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Burrow

When trying to mine while my dwarves were restricted to burrows, I'd been extending the burrow by one tile, waiting for the walls to be mined out, then extending the burrow again.  I thought that because the burrows didn't flash on unrevealed tiles, this meant that they weren't being set.  Major facepalm.
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heuristicus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1963 on: June 26, 2010, 09:25:00 am »

One of my masons just constructed a masterwork kiln...
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warwizard

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1964 on: June 26, 2010, 09:49:48 am »

85 guys, 375 plump helmets, 3 stills, and my fort dies of thirst. So much for trying out the New and Improved temperate zones.
then build a dozen stills and assign every dwarf the labor to be brewing up booze at least till the problem is fixed.
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