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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2213700 times)

Netkev

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1920 on: June 20, 2010, 04:03:59 pm »

Not content with having one of my babies murdered, i sent my soldiers after the raccoon to kill it, they knocked it in the water and naturally decided to follow it. It worked out just as well as one would imagine.

I think i am just going to have them train with weapons from now on, even if it doesn't level their dodge skill.
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Internet Kraken

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1921 on: June 20, 2010, 05:09:35 pm »

Well now I feel stupid. Upon embark, I noticed a cliff wall that touched the ocean. I thought this was nice, since normally there's a shoreline between the ocean and the cliff wall. So I decided I would make this my fortress spot. I dug through the wall, exposing it to the ocean, in preparation for the construction of the fort. Then I remembered why I built my fortress entrances on top of cliffs rather than in them. Water immediately began flooding into the fortress. Now I have to abandon, or else my dwarves will drown.
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Heavenfall

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1922 on: June 20, 2010, 06:29:59 pm »

I built a channel to an outside water gatherer to keep getting some fresh water close to my center for my wells.
Well, at one point or another one of those wells got destroyed by someone dropping the bucket. This in turn had unveiled an old ramp up/down the water channel. No sane dwarf ever went there, of course.

But the 1x1 caravan did. I never saw another human caravan.
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Keldor

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1923 on: June 21, 2010, 03:48:43 pm »

I built a channel to an outside water gatherer to keep getting some fresh water close to my center for my wells.
Well, at one point or another one of those wells got destroyed by someone dropping the bucket. This in turn had unveiled an old ramp up/down the water channel. No sane dwarf ever went there, of course.

But the 1x1 caravan did. I never saw another human caravan.

"Are you sure this is the right entrance?  It looks kinda flooded..."

"Yeah, maybe this is the sewer instead?"

"Nonsense!  If it were a sewer, it wouldn't be full of fresh water, now would it?  No doubt the water keeps the rats out.  Onward, to profitable trading!"
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lanceleoghauni

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1924 on: June 21, 2010, 04:19:51 pm »

Maneating Fortress, I like it. I'll take 3
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Mr Frog

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1925 on: June 22, 2010, 01:44:12 am »

I built a channel to an outside water gatherer to keep getting some fresh water close to my center for my wells.
Well, at one point or another one of those wells got destroyed by someone dropping the bucket. This in turn had unveiled an old ramp up/down the water channel. No sane dwarf ever went there, of course.

But the 1x1 caravan did. I never saw another human caravan.
???:"Dude, this is stupid. There's a perfectly good entrance over there!"
:D: "I'm telling you, it's a shortcut!"
???: "But we'll get wet! And it smells like mildew. Let's just use the door."
:D: "It's quicker this way! We'll shave a good 2 feet off of our total distance traveled! Can you argue with that? ...CAN YOU!?
???: "Meh, I guess not... Huh. I seem to be drowning."
:D: "It'll pass. Just keep going."
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granzteel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1926 on: June 22, 2010, 05:27:23 am »

 >:( - gobbie
 8) - dorf urist mcfisherdwarf
 ??? - dorf urist mcfishcleaner
 :-\ - human diplomat

 >:( : hey, that's the fort. To arms!

gobbies on the entrance...

 >:( : hey you stupid dwarf! give yourself up so you'll have a quick death!
 8) : Over that flood water, gobbies! haha.
 >:( : why you.. get him!
 ??? : we're surely dead!
 8) : don't worry, just watch.

the siege captain gobbie is still alive, comrades drowned..

>:( : b-but.. this is impossible!
8) : (laughing) see? you're no fish. you can't swim!
>:( : but why did the humie got there? He must've swimmed..
:-\ : (old and weary) I didn't.. I'm stuck 'ere fo' years!

Greiger

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1927 on: June 22, 2010, 10:47:50 am »

Loading a save and forgetting one of your best military is in a mood.  One of my best military outfitted in full adamantine with a masterpeice adamantine greatsword. 

Who happened to decide to go berserk in the middle of the deep metalworking sector of the fortress.  I went from having 15 metalworkers of various types to 4 by the time the military got there.

Oops.  At least I learned that even adamantine has a hard time penetrating adamantine.
« Last Edit: June 22, 2010, 10:53:00 am by Greiger »
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Zauren

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1928 on: June 22, 2010, 01:11:27 pm »

Rather then make my farm one Z-level below, I decided on the ridiculously obtuse method of mining to a water source, building a channel, then pumping it out. This was purely for aesthetics, of course. I did this early in my fortress, when both dwarves and stone was a rarity, as my miner started out with zero skill and everything to prove.

The water source in question was a murky pool, which I gathered was just enough to make my tiny plot; this was not my main fortress, but a temporary one until I could mine out a deep, permanent location. Things proceed fine, and finally I put a floor over the downstairs to the water besides the pump after the wall was removed. It was about 3 or 4 water deep down there, but I hoped it was enough.

I assemble the pump, and then turn on 'start manually pumping'. Nothing happens. How strange, thinks Zauren. I check the dwarf in question who actually was an accomplished pump operator immigrant. This was his time to shine. Turning it on and off randomly and rebuilding the pump, he still never came to use it. Annoyed, I pick an arbitrary second dwarf. He also never comes to pump. I begin to think there might be a bug somewhere, and ignore the pump for awhile.

A season later, I really need that farm, and wish I had just freaking made it a Z-level lower. Before I do massive reconstructing, I order a third random dwarf to operate the pump. A miracle, he immediately runs over and floods the area. I prepare the fields, move on.

Then I get a frightening message: Give food canceled: No food. My stocks are at zero! I butcher what livestock I have. It takes me a little bit to ponder. Wait, give food? Who was trying to give food to what and why? I have zero injured dwarves. Having only about 12 total, I zoom to each one by one.

...And in the water channel, beneath the staircase that had a floor built over it TWO SEASONS AGO, I find a pair of dwarves. The pump operator, and the dwarf I had tried to make a pump operator. They had each run down there to grab a piece of stone. They were chest-deep in murky water, and had awful thoughts about drinking bad water amongst other things.

It seems that for months and months, my dwarves have been throwing food down the open channel behind the water pump to feed them while they were trapped. Given I have no reason to look one Z-level down, I completely missed them. I had them released, and one of them years later is now the Mayor.

I am mostly surprised dwarves will throw food down a hole a Z level to another dwarf. I didn't know they did that. But if I hadn't momentarily run out of food, I would of likely found those dwarves after they went insane instead from lack of booze. Luckily, neither of them sued.
« Last Edit: June 22, 2010, 01:15:23 pm by Zauren »
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MaximumZero

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1929 on: June 22, 2010, 01:26:46 pm »

What's that, Zauren? Timmy and his friend Billy both fell down the well? Ah, hell, we'll get there eventually. :P
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Dungeon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1930 on: June 22, 2010, 02:34:50 pm »

My one engineer, a relatively unskilled one compared to the rest, was taken by a fey mood. Great!, I could get a legendary engineer out of this if all goes well.

Keyword if...Like the last few Dwarves in my fortress, they all want things I cant give them. In this case, its the middle of Winter, the waters are all frozen and he wants a SHELL. And I'm pretty sure I don't have enough cloth which he also wants.

And the moron wants shining bars of metal, which I have plenty of Silver bars, but I didn't see him go for. When I fire up the game next, I'm just gonna have to station my Champions next to him incase he goes berserk. Cause all my strange mood dwarves are going berserk when their moods don't get full-filled

Also, I hate my mayor. He's friends with everyone which means I cant kill him without dooming my fortress to infinite tantrum spirals, and good at his job. Except when he decides to slack off and eat and drink and sleep when a caravan is arriving. But the S.O.B keeps mandating the creation of gold items. I have yet to find gold, or Magma. And then he gets pissed and wants someone jailed for over 50 days, and then gets even more pissy when that wont get done. If I get more nobles then what I have. IE the Dungeon Master and the Philospher, I'm gonna make sure to put them straight into the atom smasher treatment.
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Haspen

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1931 on: June 22, 2010, 02:40:42 pm »

IE the Dungeon Master and the Philospher, I'm gonna make sure to put them straight into the atom smasher treatment.

Why do you want to kill two most harmless (and actually one useful) noble? ???
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Dungeon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1932 on: June 22, 2010, 03:13:50 pm »

IE the Dungeon Master and the Philospher, I'm gonna make sure to put them straight into the atom smasher treatment.

Why do you want to kill two most harmless (and actually one useful) noble? ???

No no no dude, you misread, or I mistyped. I mean the OTHER nobles. I like my Dungeon Master and Philospher, for...whatever he does. He's at least quiet.

I'm just sick of the stupid demands my Mayor is putting out, and notice that if he's as bad as he is, the other less favorable nobles are gonna be waaaaay worse.
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Zauren

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1933 on: June 22, 2010, 03:18:42 pm »

/My/ mayor has yet to make any mandates. Maybe it's since I outfit his rooms with solid GOLD, and he was humbled surviving being trapped for 6 months in stagnant water. He's been a mayor for ages, so it's a little odd.
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Haspen

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1934 on: June 22, 2010, 03:24:08 pm »

Uh, nothing beats my old baron from 40d.

Crystal glass window in the bedroom.

Then, of course, Zinc mini-forges (3/3).

That was my first water-drown noble, by the way. Ah, good times...
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