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[Snall]

My last 2 forts I OFFERED instead of TRADED.  Yeah, that's never fun.  So I'm writing this now since another trader just came to remind me to TRADE ffs.

[LegacyCWAL]

My last 2 forts I OFFERED instead of TRADED.  Yeah, that's never always Fun.  So I'm writing this now since another trader just came to remind me to TRADE ffs.

Fixed for you 

[PeterTheEvilBastard]

Holy shit... One of my dwarves just failed a mood... She had a baby with her at the time. She first broke every single bone in its body. Then choked it to death. There was blood everywhere... I dont think I wanna play this anymore. It just got too fucking disturbing... NOT!

 But seriously, this IS fucking disturbing.

[Niloc]

Well, I've been playing this game off and on for the last year or so, my experiences:

First fort ever:
"Oh, yay, I got everything working!  Ok, so I'm supposed to press this button to start digging... Oh, wait, what does this say?  Crap, I can't figure out the controls."  All said 10 seconds before my group were attacked by some unexpected wildlife and slaughtered.

Second fort ever:
"Ok, so I need defenses, let's channel this river over here." *Goes down a z-level* "Wait, my farms were right there.  And I wasn't paying attention long enough to have failed to quarantine my only stairwell! Well, redo!"

Last fort played:
"Yay, I've been out here a year, I have 37 dwarfs, and a stable, functioning society.  No one's unhappy, I have a source of shell, miners just reported a coal vein, and I just built a wall around our primary entrance.  Things are good!"  Then an ambush of 2 goblin squads appears, so I remove the up parts of my main entrance stairs, sealing off the fort from the surface, and locked the only remaining door.  After about 10 minutes, I couldn't find the ambushers (as I had neglected to check the units list), so I unlocked the door.  10 seconds and a rush at the dead elves' clothes nearby later 34 dwarfs lay dead, and 3 miners were still as happy as can be way at the bottom, mining out our 50th bedroom.

Well, that was until they walked outside and all simultaneously went berserk.  *sigh*

[Thornet]

I've had a really annoying animal problem lately, with creatures like foxes and gophers just running around everywhere being a nuisance. I don't have any hunters yet and I was tired of sending my 9 militia out to kill stinking gophers every ten minutes.

The latest nuisance was a deer just attacking whoever it please. I sent my sheriff after it since she actually had some combat skill under her belt. Turns she was really slow though, since she chased the deer all around fort, had a nap, then chased it all around again. I was watching them run around in circles for a while, with the sheriff leaping this way and that dodging the charges of the deer.

Then all of a sudden I couldn't see my sheriff anymore. I used the unit list to zoom to her and noticed that she was now at the bottom of the lake with a million injuries. Turns when when I was doing some digging I left a tile of wall open to the great yonder (I'm living in a cavern). According to the report she dodged the deer, then fell 9 z levels into the lake. *facepalm*

I probably could have rescued her too if the other dwarves had taken the time to stop eating and drinking to bother doing some mining. She was drowning, then swimming, then drowning again for a long time, then died of blood loss.

And the stupid freaking deer was still there later, dancing around the hole waiting for another. I waited a very long time for it to leave then jumped it with my militia.

Since now I have a ton of cage traps at my fort entrance, any deer I catch now get to have the same experience she did. I have two living down there already.

[Greiger]

In the arena I had set up a massive 200 vs 200 battle with 5 different equipment loadouts and skill levels on each side.  I start the fighting and sit back to watch the fun.

It turns out the 200 vs 200 team fight I was expecting and set up with complicated formations and ranks, turned into a 400 man Free For all.  I forgot to set teams.

[Wh1tefang12]

Carp, why isn't that trog dieing... all his bones are broken and his organs damaged. My entire army is fighting with training axes!.

[Rorcayt]

Just as i had discovered that i had run out of barrels and wood, a dwarf lit ablaze by a dragon rushed into my massive, limitless booze stockpile (not quite), The steam/fire/pure pressure killed the dragon, but the pressure made my fortress larger, 7 z level/layers of stone in every direction.

[Rorcayt]

Finally mining up stone in a glacier, And discovering a troll infested carvern. Lucky enough, I had had a recent cat-splosion. Dropping at least 50 cats into the pit, i had made it somewhat safe, but because the cats were working with the elves, not for long....

[Jacob/Lee]

Just as i had discovered that i had run out of barrels and wood, a dwarf lit ablaze by a dragon rushed into my massive, limitless booze stockpile (not quite), The steam/fire/pure pressure killed the dragon, but the pressure made my fortress larger, 7 z level/layers of stone in every direction.

You can seriously make a fortress expanding pressure bomb out of ungodly amounts of booze?

[Rorcayt]

Just as i had discovered that i had run out of barrels and wood, a dwarf lit ablaze by a dragon rushed into my massive, limitless booze stockpile (not quite), The steam/fire/pure pressure killed the dragon, but the pressure made my fortress larger, 7 z level/layers of stone in every direction.

You can seriously make a fortress expanding pressure bomb out of ungodly amounts of booze?

I really dont want to think of other possibility's....




Im going to be filling this thread up...............................
While i was typing that response 7/ 9 remaining dwarfs died of thirst in the fortress where i used cats as a dungeon clearing military....
Sadly, i could not get to the damp soil soon enough.
Next time: more cats. Many more cats/ dogs. more booze too.

Edit: All my face-palms today were booze induced.... somebody help me.

[Reese]

So, I forgot to buy some silk from the dwarf caravan when they came by at the end of the year, and the middle of next year my bone carver went fey and needed cloth and bone.  So, I built a wall around the shop he claimed,a dns et a door so I could lock it when he went insane.  He proceeded to do so.

face palm #1: I didn't lock the door as soon as I knew I wouldn't be getting that cloth.
face palm #2: I hit space to pause when he went berserk, which unpaused the announcement- he got out before I could pause again.
face palm #3: This guy is one of my recruits, and he's decked out in iron armor and an exceptional iron axe, and I didn't think to have my other dwarfs strip his equipment.

So, at this point, I left him to run around a bit and kill everyone before I activated my military, he look out plenty of dumb animals and a couple other dwarfs without a scratch, then chased a horse out the front door and halfway across the map.  Then he sat there until my military I finally activated ran after him and took him down.

[Flamester_]

In the arena I had set up a massive 200 vs 200 battle with 5 different equipment loadouts and skill levels on each side.  I start the fighting and sit back to watch the fun.

It turns out the 200 vs 200 team fight I was expecting and set up with complicated formations and ranks, turned into a 400 man Free For all.  I forgot to set teams.

Who won?

[Cardinal]

Urist McMrRogers.

[Chronas]

Just as i had discovered that i had run out of barrels and wood, a dwarf lit ablaze by a dragon rushed into my massive, limitless booze stockpile (not quite), The steam/fire/pure pressure killed the dragon, but the pressure made my fortress larger, 7 z level/layers of stone in every direction.

You can seriously make a fortress expanding pressure bomb out of ungodly amounts of booze?

actually no. natural walls and constructions are invincible unless caved in (or mined/deconstructed), in fact booze doesn't even explode. the barrel itself is what burns and the 'explosion' is a cloud of smoke and steam that gives minor burn wounds.