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[illiterate]

further evidence that i'm still a noob.

[catoblepas]

On one of my more successful fortresses, I was building a four story high green glass tower above the entrance. As I was removing green glass from the roof in order to build walls on it, I learned about cave-ins. A chunk of roofing crashed through the two floors below it and landed on a masterwork obsidian statue, destroying it. this wouldn't have been so bad in itself, except that the tower was positioned directly above the main entrance....as the newest wave of migrants was moving passing underneath. The dust cloud that generated knocked out pretty much everyone, luckily only one migrant was walking over my green glass corkscrew traps when this occurred. A great learning experience all in all, as it taught me that all dwarves are stupid, and won't remove flooring strategically if one designates an area of flooring to be removed, a fact driven home by the fact that the dwarf who was removing the flooring managed to remove all the flooring between him and the way down....he starved to death horribly of course.

[GoneWacko]

...

Reclaim reclaim reclaim!

why reclaim?  just make more booze!  with one dwarf if you have to. 

Which plants do you want me to brew?
I forgot to mention that I had not set up any farms yet.
And while I did bring some seeds just in case, the big idea was to get them through brewing

Indeed some dwarves were still alive, but I lost interest pretty quickly after that screw up (very poor quality for a DF player, probably, but eh, what can you do?)

[Zess]

When I crushed a Champion Axedwarf on accident with a drawbridge. :/

[Vampire Penguin]

I let my dwarves go outside during a seige. Well, they are well protected by a wall and drawbridge, so no harm done, right?

Well, SOME FREAKING HOW an engraver gets outside and charges an Orc Wrestler. Then, the Orcs get smart. They know dwarves are not bright creatures. So they send down two wrestlers to stand on the cliff over my entrance, so now they have no access to my well, booze, food, or (non-military) beds. So while the season-long siege goes on, just about half of my 100 dwarf fortress is outside. They are walking back and forth from the barracks to the entrance, hungry, thirsty and tired.

They get scared by the Orcs, and once my Marksdwarves kill them, guess what? They send two more. So I recruit all I can so they walk by without fear (...how?). I am forced to take down two squads of Orcs before they are allowed back in, all starving (including my naked Queen).

No one dies, but they all start crying about they're hunger and thirst, and stay in they're homes for the next month or so.

[Slashcko]

discovering the d->b menu.

oh god, the finger-destroying ages spent with the k tool manually dumping individual stones

Oh wow, thanks for telling me that.
*facepalm*

[kuribo]

Recently forgot about water pressure while making a waterfall. It overflowed the trench and began flooding the entire valley.

[tygea42]

I had the wonderful idea to put various dangerous animals and captured enemies in cells along my main entry.  not with cages or restraints, but by pitting them into cells with clear glass windows looking into the hall.  Dwarfs wouldn't go in or out and caravans just stopped mid hall and sat...  for years... Eventually I dug a new entrance hall and walled up the old...  With a total of 7 trade caravans stuck in it.

[Lymojo]

I had the wonderful idea to put various dangerous animals and captured enemies in cells along my main entry.  not with cages or restraints, but by pitting them into cells with clear glass windows looking into the hall.  Dwarfs wouldn't go in or out and caravans just stopped mid hall and sat...  for years... Eventually I dug a new entrance hall and walled up the old...  With a total of 7 trade caravans stuck in it.

Is that because they see the monsters through the glass and get scared?

[Lymojo]

I built this intricate and aesthetically pleasing obsidian magma death tower with an interesting deployment system. It runs all the time - very pretty for fortress guests - but during DEATH MODE when the lava re-uptake channels close up, letting the lava spread out and kill everyone.

However I didn't really understand gobbo behavior or magma dynamics. The magma only spreads out to fill about a 20 tile radius, and nowhere near anywhere the gobbos would ever want to go.

Guuuuuuuh....

[stormbringer951]

Finishing off the moat on my first fortress, that was ages ago now I think of it. I'd made a small outside gatehouse (I was building into the side of a sheer cliff; an excellent starting location that I can't find anymore ). The moat I was building was too far above any other water source, plus I channeled through my farm area in the soil layer. Plus when I finished it, I had to dig a side passage so I could put the drawbridge in. I was spammed with about 10,000 cancelled jobs as dwarves tried to get wood etc. from outside. Damn.

Now I build the defences before getting the fortress too big.

[GoneWacko]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'm feeding a well from a river 4 z-levels above my fortress. Being aware of the dangers of water pressure, I was smart enough to build a floodgate in the channel, linked up to a lever somewhere near the well. In case you hadn't deducted from the body of water, the well is just off screen to the south.

I checked and double checked if all the security measures were in place before pulling the lever.

Shortly afterwards a huge immigration wave came rolling into my fortress. I was so distracted with making beds, doors, chambers, noble rooms... That I kind of forgot to pull the lever again when the channel had filled up with water.

When I remembered, the water had already flooded my well area. I quick added a Pull Lever command to the floodgate's lever, but somehow the game figured that it'd be best if the lever be pulled by a sloooooooow moving gem cutter some 100 tiles away.
Luckily he managed to wade through the 2-3 level high water that was now filling up my workfloor (it's tiny because the fortress is in it's early stages).

With the 100 step delay and with the 5 z-level long, two level wide shaft, the water pressure was high enough to let the water flood into my main staircase, down to my sleeping quaters

Upside to all of this: All my dwarves are ecstatic from the waterfall in the staircase.
Downside: it'll be a while before the meeting hall becomes usable, and there's mud everywhere!

[Clanrat]

A peasant was hauling a cage with maybe 70 or so cats and kittens with a odd other animal in it, when he decided to throw a tantrum and break the closest thing - which happend to be the cage instatly releasing all the cats and kittens that adopted passing dwarves 

[Itnetlolor]

A peasant was hauling a cage with maybe 70 or so cats and kittens with a odd other animal in it, when he decided to throw a tantrum and break the closest thing - which happend to be the cage instatly releasing all the cats and kittens that adopted passing dwarves 

Cat-nades.

Mix that with nuclear catsplosion technology and we could possibly have nukes in DF. provided, of course, cats don't explode while in cages.

Is there a chance this could be implemented in the Dwarfhattan Project?

[Byakugan01]

Two moments, both in the orc mod.
First, I decided to try and fight the orcs with about 15 war werewolves and a bunch of champion and elite wrestlers when I could have just attempted to sit out the siege. What makes this a facepalm moment? I had access to a huge supply of magnetite, smelt iron bars, and flux. I could have just waited until I had steel armor and then tried to take them on.
Second, forgetting to forbid items from the first casualties inside a different fortress when the orcs breached my unlocked doors (woops!). Cue lemming rush.