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[Superdorf]

I've had my fair share of floodings and leakages. Some involved water. Some involved magma. Nowadays I usually install double-locks on anything remotely related to fluid movement-- doors are your friend!

May Armok give me strength. Or scuba miners.

This is beautiful and I am keeping it safe in my sig-storage forever.

[xZippy]

So I get sieged, although I don't panic because I had a nice setup. I always have 2 squads trained: one melee and one ranged. I'm sure everyone does that. I send both squads to deal with the siege but one of them gets absolutely slaughtered. Come to find out, I incorrectly set up the barracks for the ranged squad, so the game never knew they had to be trained. I may as well have sent 10 elementary school kids to Afghanistan. The amount of grieving dwarves I had was insane.

There's pieces of their body parts still stuck in the moat, as a reminder of my mistake.

[Pvt. Pirate]

i actually never get a military up and running because everything beyond giving them basic melee or ranged equipment includes too many delicate steps that fail once just one of them isnt done right.

it's easier to build a minecart QSP setup for the whole metal industry than setting up a military with a schedule to train 4months, be on station/patrol 4 months and work the rest of the year.

[Superdorf]

All that scheduling stuff isn't really necessary.

In most my forts, I'll set up lots of melee-combat squads-of-3, set them all to train at the same one-weapon-rack barrack, place that barrack within the sole entrance to the fort, and tell all the soldiers to train always. If I need the soldiers working as haulers or something, I set all the squads to Inactive. If I want the soldiers to take a break, I remove the barracks designation for a bit. It's very convenient!

Marksdwarves are fiddly. I don't bother setting up archery ranges-- easier just to train by combat. I only ever really use marksdwarves for beast-slaying anyway, and that's a pretty low-risk task if done right.

[Schmaven]

All that scheduling stuff isn't really necessary.

In most my forts, I'll set up lots of melee-combat squads-of-3, set them all to train at the same one-weapon-rack barrack, place that barrack within the sole entrance to the fort, and tell all the soldiers to train always.

I agree, scheduling isn't necessary at all.  I have about half my dwarves train 100% of the time in a barracks by the main entry, and they have no issues.  I just make sure that any dwarf assigned to the military does not have the propensity to go berserk, and there are no issues, even if they get stressed.  Worst case scenario, one will succumb to stress, stumble around for a bit and then starve to death.

[Pvt. Pirate]

thanks, you gave me hope to try it again.

[Romeofalling]

I was very excited to realize that my channeling error for my magma forge wasn't a waste. Placing them directly under the blocked tiles only saves you the bother of a grate!

...

A little later, I notice that half my fort is on fire. The culprit? A !!cat!! has somehow caught on fire and is running around in what I assuming would be a very reasonable approximation of a cat with his tail on fire.

Pausing for a careful scan of who might have set the cat on fire (I first suspected a tantruming dwarf), I eventually find a dead fire snake near the forges.

*headdesk*

[Pvt. Pirate]

a titan appeared and jumped several tens of meters into my animal pen to slaughter my plentiful lifestock.
atleast that gave me time to close the main gate before he could do any real harm...
still wondering if he would've been caught in my cagetraps if i had finished those on the only entrances of my animal pen... i'll never know because my dorfs were too lazy to build them!

[Magistrum]

So, you guys know how you can just set a minecart to guide until you finish the railtracks and the dorfs just pick the thing up and haul it?
I didn't. Not until some minutes ago, that is.

I could be forging equipment ages ago.

[pisskop]

My new world gen is just over 2 gigs in size.  and thats without me playing yet....

[nezclaw]

i failed to account for water pressure when trying to make a fish trapping chamber a couple z-levels below sea level. as a result, my fort flooded between one tick and the next.

[Ljas]

I found out the drawbridge I was using to isolate my fort from the outside world was destroyed at some point, probably by a tantruming dwarf. The ideal way to find out would have been on my own, before the 200+ strong goblin army was walking down the ramp towards my entrance.
It's amazing how fast a handful of swordmasters backed up by the rest of the fort as recruits can melt so many goblins and trolls, but keeping the 24 depressed survivors stumbling around in miasma didn't feel meaningful anymore. Better luck next fort I guess.

[Sanctume]

Channeled stairs with boulder, and got bonked after. 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So I was digging a garbage disposal system where it starts with down stairs (z+0), then to z-5 of up/down stairs. On the z-6, is an un-mined wall.   

After the stairs are dug, I smooth the walls to make them climb-proof. 

Anyway, I usually start channeling from z-1 to z-5, until it creates a ramp on z-6 and to my hall where atom smasher, wall, and lever will be. 

In a hurry, I designated to z+0 and z-1 to be channeled, instead of starting a z-1 to "trap" the miner to continue digging a z down at a time.

Somehow the miner dug so fast that he dug out z+0 and z-1 and fell into z-2 with a boulder falling above.  Oops.

[Pvt. Pirate]

i tapped the brook carefully, leading the water ~50 tiles through an underground aqueduct to a place where it can be pumped into a small cistern and a well above it.
i even installed two drawbridges to conveniently being able to close the aqueduct at the brook or shortly before the pump... but i put the levers next to the pump, so the titam went in and destroyed the pump and both levers while both gates were open and the aqueduct is flooded.
i got no easy way of setting it dry again to reenable the gates.
i'll have to either put a windmill or waterwheel at the brook and install a series of pumps there or abandon that cistern and well and only keep tha aqueduct and keep the aqueduct levers inside the fort this time.

[doublestrafe]

I finally trapped the giant cave spider who had been eating my monster slayers. With careful preparation, lots of debugging, and much stealing from Reddit posts, I triumphantly unveiled a fully automated silk farm, and set it to work. After a year or so, however, I discovered that the spider had gotten the last laugh.

The inventory screen of every one of my dwarves is now approximately:
≡Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spid
☼Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spid
≡Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spid
Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spide
-Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spid
☼Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spid
≡Relicsparkle the Bulbous Dominion's giant cave spid