Sam: But he died in magma! There shouldn't be any remains!
Dean: Some part of his body must still be out there.
Sam: Look at this engraving...it's a dwarf withering in magma. And look at THAT.
Dean: He only has one arm...
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Mayor: Yes, I'm afraid Urist lost an arm in a tragic sparring accident a few years before he passed.
Dean: What happened to his arm?
Mayor: ...What happened to it? Refuse stockpile, I suppose.
Sam: Has this fort produced any...artifacts lately?
Mayor: Well the mason DID have this strange, macabre mood a while back... That's when he built that floodgate, Abbeysquids. It keeps the magma from flooding our entire fortress.
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Sam: You're dressed up as...a brewer.
Dean: Oh come on, the perks of this job are amazing! Anyway, I'm going to stash these barrels over here by Abbeysquids. Now we just let them connect that second floodgate farther down, pull the lever, and bam! Problem solved!
Sam: You're sure this is actually going to work?
Dean: Yeah. Mostly. Hey, why don't I go get the car started... Make sure you're ready to run when you pull the lever...
Sam: Uh. Okay.
Ghost: *possesses a butterfly and flies into the second floodgate*
Sam: *pulls lever*
Magma: *flows out of Abbeysquids*
Booze: *explode*
Abbeysquids: *explodes*
Butterfly: *dies in the second floodgate*
Second floodgate: *still doesn't close*
Fortress: *burns*
Sam: *has a sad*
oh god I can't believe I just wrote my first Supernatural fanfiction